Feeling the past and the future...

I finally admitted today that I miss my family. I was talking to my mom on the phone and I just blurted out a recent series of events that really point out this truth. At yoga today I pulled out the tarot card ‘suppression.’ I pulled the same card last weekend, but I think last weekend it was about a different issue. Today was definitely family related. I told the yoga people today about the weird ways I have been expressing missing my family. I was sitting at my desk a few days ago and all of a sudden I sang out, “Everywhere we go, people want to know, who we are, so we tell them, we are the Deutschs, the mighty mighty Deutschs.” The tune should sound familiar to some of you. I haven’t heard it in forever. My Dad used to sing this when I was really young and my family would go on a trip together. Then we would all sing it together. I was alone in my office and I was shocked as soon as I stopped and took a breath and realized what I blurted out. Also, I was sipping tea with Q at yoga on Thursday night and I stood up to walk away and walked behind Q. Then I told him to talk. He did and I pounded his back, making his voice shaky. It was something my Dad did when I was little also. I have been denying missing my family. I had made the realization that I had wanted to cuddle with someone this week. I thought I was just feeling the need for body contact. Then I was talking to my sister and cuddling came up in the conversation and she said that our mom was the best cuddler. At the time I poked fun of her for saying it, but in retrospect it was true, is true. I had made a resolution to cuddle with someone this week, but today one-upped a cuddle fest.

At yoga I got to go crazy for 5 minutes. We played music and let down our guards and just released. It was so healthy. I thought about how someone watching it would think it was weird or maybe cultish, but that is from the perspective of “civility” and “enculturation” that expects people to follow certain norms, but this studio is all about impulse and deviation. We talked about depression today and the owner said depression effects people with lots of energy who can’t outlet it enough. I thought of all of the people who I know who have suffered from depression and there actually was a common thread. It was the craziest thing to think about how excess energy that wasn’t outletted could paralyze people into sadness. Anyway, the owner had us release energy and anger without judgment. We all just did what we needed to in the safety of the studio. He also talked about judgment today and how we judge people so that we can elevate ourselves. He said the beginning of healing is when we can stop judging others. I liked that. Effin hard, but I like it. Also, after screaming my head off, we did CST, Cranio-Sacral Therapy. So I got an incredibly relaxing “massage” that put me to sleep. CST is just touch that focuses on the natural flow of energy through the body and more specifically the fluid that travels from the cranium down the spine. Then we did improv during the second class and ended by hugging everyone. Genuine hugs are stellar. Embracing people with sincerity and giving love feels so awesome. My sister and I also talked about how difficult it is to find people that fit together and it is interesting to pay attention while hugging to see how you fit with another person. Some people I fit well with and others, not so much. HAHA.

On another yogic note... I have posted a video of the dancing and laughing meditation I led. Okay, so hopefully you can see past the craziness and enjoy the beauty of people moving, releasing and distressing. I was a little (I’m not even sure how to describe it) the first time I saw this video. I think I was shocked someone recorded and posted it and then uncomfortable with it being my yogic debut, but whatevs. Enjoy!^^

Tonight was another celebration. The yoga leadership course went out to celebrate. I wish my diet was less of an issue. It is a non-issue to me, but everyone is so concerned about me eating (because of Jeong, love, maternal instincts, etc.) I went with two people in search of food to bring to the restaurant to eat. I was told there would be nothing I could eat at the restaurant (I accepted it, but found it hard to believe. There have only been three times so far that there was nothing at a restaurant that I could eat) I picked out karen mani kim bap (kimbap wrapped in egg), black beans, and pumpkin porridge. There were side dishes at the restaurant that I could have eaten, but people would have been concerned about me even more than they already are. Also, it gave me a great excise to practice Jeong. I offered my food to everyone at the table. That is how Korean custom works. Every food you get, you offer to the people around you, no matter how hungry you are, and usually people will accept your offer. It just creates this beautiful relationship of reciprocity. At the celebration tonight I drank a good amount of Makoli (rice wine) and it was delicious. It has a natural carbonation to it that really adds to the flavor. I saw my first cherry blossoms this evening!!! They are beautiful. They were mostly just buds, but I am so excited to see Yeungnam’s cherry blossoms! It was a great gathering tonight. It started raining tonight... I love the rain.

I don’t know if I ever wrote about getting my bike fixed, but I did it a couple of weeks ago. I walked my bike the 40 minutes to the shop and only paid 18,000 won ($15 US) to get a new inner tube and tire. The man, who is amazing at his job and full of spirit, checked the whole bike over for free. Then I biked home, which took about 20 minutes. The whole event was done in an hour and 10 minutes. Woot.

I was letting my thoughts wander a bit into the future and I was thinking about living back in the US and stuff that I won’t be willing to give up from here. 1) Sitting on the floor. I don’t want a couch. I will only own cushions. 2) Daily yoga 3) Korean. I hope to be able to teach yoga in Korean in the US… As odd as that may sound, I would love to locate a Korean community in Seattle or San Francisco, or some place with similar weather and teach yoga in English and Korean. 4) Biking as my main form of transportation 5) Kimchi, dduk, and other side dishes/Korean food in general 6) Jeong^^ 7) House slippers (IE- no outside shoes inside) 8) The Korean happy face “^^” 9) K-Pop 10) Looking around and actually seeing the nature-scape around me…

I was taught two Wednesdays ago how to make 5 Korean side dishes. For anyone who has tuned into this blog previously or who know me, is well aware of my utter inability to cook food. These are veeeeeery simple recipes, so I managed not to screw them up and came away with a wider breath of knowledge about Korean cooking. My teacher (a fellow yogi from the studio) even gave me little containers of all of the Korean staples (sesame oil, sesame seeds, dried pepper flakes, minced garlic, salt, soy sauce, and soup soy sauce). I taught my teachers class last week how to make Spinach Salad in English. It was awesome to connect with them through this popular side dish.

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TEACHER LIFE STUFFS:

I pay my bills at the post office. They can also be paid at any bank or the administration office at your school will take care of it for you, if you give them the money. I go to the post office because it is on my way home from work and the people at the post office are absurdly helpful and nice. At the post office, if you have cash you can take a number and wait to deal with a teller. If you are cashless, but have a bank card, there is a machine and the security guard or a teller can walk you through the process. It is fairly easy and quick either way.

I still haven’t found a good way to find out bus routes for individual buses. I tend to just wait at a stop and ask every bus that stops if they go to my destination. This is what most Koreans do in the same situation. There are websites for the buses and they have route maps, but they are hard to navigate in English. I have a bus card. If your city/town offers one, I would get it. You save about 50 cents a ride and they are easy to port. You can buy them at a bank or at a kiosk on the side of many major roads. I have the one that attached to a phone. It was 5,000 won. The regular card is 2,000 won. Totally worth it long term. To recharge the card you can go to the kiosks or the subway. I think the phone kind can only be recharged at a subway stop, but I am not positive.

Things to talk about with your co-teacher:
• If you get your own classroom
• Where you can store your teaching materials
• If you can get a class roster for each class
• How they see co-teaching
• When all school holidays are
• Get their email address and cell number
• How discipline works in their classes
• If you will teach with a text book
• To be informed immediately about schedule changes/work obligations
• If you can set aside a time to meet weekly (if you want, to briefly discuss lesson plans, etc.)
• The name and contact info of who to go to if you have problems with your apartment (a light burns out, the sink won’t turn on, you are awoken periodically by an alarm on your wall-box, etc.)

Keep in mind; you do have the option of saying “no” to requests here. Pick your battles is my best advice. You will be asked to do lots of things. Decide for yourself how badly you want money and what you are willing to do. Over winter and summer you will most likely teach at one or more English camps. That is in your contract. However, after school classes and weekend classes are up to you. If you are asked to do an after school class, you can say “no.” They may pressure you and guilt you, but you can still say no, especially if it will interfere with your other teaching or cause you to be less happy. Explain your situation. Don’t be too detailed, but it is your right to have a life outside of the classroom also. If your schedule doesn’t work for you; you also have the right to negotiate it or try at least. Your school(s) will want you to be happy and usually will work with you to make a livable schedule.

* Go out and explore your neighborhood, make friends and create a community, and at least learn survival Korean phrases (greetings, restaurant, shopping, counting, etc.)… Create a life here and settle in. That is my sincere advice. Even if you plan to stay for only a year, that year is still your life, you will never get it back, so live and make memories and revel in the incredible moments (there will be many).

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Videos from "Feeling the past and the future...":

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