Chow is the man!

I arrived in Singapore with my whole weekend taken care of for me by the gracious Sam Chow. He hooked me up with his family and friends in Singapore, who were kind enough to really take care of me.

Alissa, his sister, took a lot of time out of her day on Friday to come and meet me at the airport, then bring me back to villa-Chow (which was about an hour away).

After a fantastic meal from Sam and Alissa's mom, Alissa and I hit the road to see what Singapore's night had to offer. I was told as we left that Singapore was a casual place, and the slippers should be fine. Those slippers turned out to be a bad (but a good) idea later.

Our first stop was the insane China Town. Chinese New Year is fast approaching, and the vendors in China Town aren't waiting. The place was totally jammed with bargain and fun seekers from all over. It literally got to the point where we couldn't walk at all at times.

Our next stop was some random club along the posh Orchard Road. Here we met Amy, one of Alissa's friends. I was immediately impressed with Amy's star power when we bypassed the swelling club line, and got in for free. We entered into a bumping club scene that was apparently geared for the college crowd, and was playing some intense Drum And Bass. Aside from feeling pretty old, we all had a great time. We all sort of hung out together, and basked in our oldness (the whole group of us is about the same age ~30 or so).

Brian receives unwelcome attention Take I

During the course of our booty, a very excited Frenchman wiggled his way up next to me and began trying to chat me up. I definitely got the alert from the ol' gadar, but it could have been that he saw me dancing with three hottie females, and wanted a piece of the action for himself. In either case, I politely moved the group to the other side of the floor. Come to think about it, perhaps he was a lonely traveler, who just wanted to talk to someone. I guess I'll never know. Or care...

Sandal Rejection Take I

After we shook our collective things for a while, we headed to the most exclusive club in town. Attica something or another. Apparently, it was too exclusive, cause the house-sized bouncer wasn't thrilled that I was wearing ripped cargo pants, and a T-shirt. A very very sweaty T-shirt. Anyone who knows Mr. Squibb (me), knows that he is a profuse sweater. Once that boy starts sweating (after say, he has shaken his booty at a college-age pseudo-rave), he is a site to see, I'll tell you what. Anyway, the bouncer also didn't seem to appreciate my oh-so-sauve sandels. That was the deal breaker. Sweaty, no-style-having T-shirts and ripped cargo pants he could deal with. But sandals (with socks, by the way), were a no-go.

Shortly thereafter, we met up with Amy's friend Allan, and his tiny little ball of fury friend, Jen. We met at Hooters, which seemed entirely appropriate to me.

Sandal Rejection Take II

The whole group (now numbering about 6) then journeyed to another joint for some more action. This time we started in the low-key pub area. Jen wanted to go upstairs to the "room". She took a vote, and I thought we were renting a room to go and party (due to her accent, and the fact that the music was super duper loud). I jokingly voted yes, but this was taken as an enthusiastic yes. Soon, all involved voted yes.

Could this be happening? Was I really going to get a room with all of these crazy people? The guy to girl ratio was looking in my favor at this point, with four girls and two guys.

Actually, No.

It turns out that I had, in fact, voted to go into another crazy club. Once again, the fashion police (aka Everest-sized-Chinese bouncer) had "issues" with my sandals. I was about to admit defeat - we gave it the ol' college try, right? But Jen wouldn't have it. She really wanted to go in. She unleashed every bit of femininty at the chap. No mere mortal man could withstand such an assault. Did I mention that Jen is abuot 3 feet tall, weighs about 5 ozs, and is super cute? How could you say no to that?

Of course, the bouncer gives in, and in we go. The only stipulation on the bouncers part was that I should remain unseen. I was to huddle in the corner and hide my shoe-less feet lest the poor guy get fired. Or caned. They are very strict in Singapore on these sorts of things.

He was actually fairly serious on this matter. Twice he came up to me and told me to hide myself better, as his boss was coming.

Once we got in the club the wierdness ensued. Jen pounded like 5 beers in the time it took for me to drink two. Did I mention that she weighed 5 oz's? I couldn't believe that she was still standing, let alone dancing/drinking. There was all sorts of interesting drama afoot... Apparently Jen was really into Allan. But Allan and Amy were friends from way back when, and Jen saw this as a threat to her chances to do whatever with Allan. She pulled out all the stops in order to further her game.

She tried dancing. When that didn't work, she assumed that Allan must be gay, and found a gay guy to dance with him. Allan wasn't so into that. Then she thought that Amy was competition for her, and tried to covney through these weird hand gestures indicating that Amy should focus her attention on me. (picture trying to make a heart with your fingers, then mimicing a cupid firing an arrow at my heart then Amy's). I didn't mind, since Amy was really cute, and by this point I was pretty drunk.

Another wierd Jen'ism: At one point some random drunk guy drank from my beer. Jen then basically convinced him that he was in my debt for the rest of eternity, and had to buy me beers for ever more. Amazingly enough, he agreed. Did I mention that Jen is unstoppable? It turns out that this was another guy who was extremely appy to see me, and he again tripped my gadar. Maybe I am just being conceited. Then again, the world really does revovle around me.

We finally had enough, and sleepily wandered home. I hit the sack at around 4:00 AM.

Welcome to Singapore!

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