Published: November 21st 2008November 20th 2008
Those of you who are uncomfortable with stories about mentration, stop reading this blog right now! However, for the sake of writing down some of the funny things that happen to me to balance all of the really emotional entries, I am going to write this anyway.
For multiply reasons I decided before I came not to have my period at all while I was in the Philippines.
Now this has been a very interesting 11 month experiement. In the initial months it lead to me having low grade pms every 3 weeks. Combine that with the emotional rollercoaster that I was feeling in the first few months of my internship, and there were times that I am sure my host probably thought I was at best weird, and at most nuts. However, my body quickly got used to not cycling. Eventually, my hormons seemed to become stagnant. So spent a large portion of this year feeling constantly, very even. It was really interesting for a while, to be feel so stable. However, the novelty eventually started to wear off. After a long time of feeling stable I started to instead feel castrated, because there were none of the ups and downs I was used to. Instead of feeling like myself, I started to feel bland.
So, acting as my own doctor, which I do frequently, I decided about 2 months ago to start having my period again. Last month everything went off without a hitch, no real pms, no problem. This month, however, has been the most interesting pms of my entire adult life. Suddenly estrogene is surging through my viens again I have been riding a crazy pms rolllercoaster for almost two weeks. Luckily, for the people around me, it hasn't been mean pms. But every other pms symptom I have ever felt has been hightened and lengthened. I have eaten like a 200 pound man, I have been hyper, and excitable and emotional on the largest scale I have ever experienced. It has been like watching the Nicole Smith show in fast forward. It is as if the entire 11 months back log of of hormons have decided to surge through my body at once. Even now, as my period winds down, I am still riding heavily shifting, daily ups and downs. Although, I suppose, it will take a while for a whole year of unused hormones to go through my system.
*Laugh* And this is what I was missing?! This is what I wanted so much when I felt castrated. I guess this proves it, the grass is always greener on the other side.