Lazing in Lahore

Visas = Hassle. No doubt.

So it was I found myself in Rawalpindi, the twin city of Pakistan's capital, Islamabad. Quite possibly two of the most unattractive cities in Asia, for very different reasons. 'Pindi is a jam-packed, noisy, dirty city, with absolutely nothing to do. But it has the cheap hotels. That's why people go there. Islamabad is a 'new, planned' city, in other words, a hell-hole with no soul or character, where you must get a taxi everywhere. Every Pakistani in his right mind aspires to live there. But it has the embassies. That's why people go there.

It was time to begin the process of getting to India. Everything I had heard about the Indian High Commission in Islamabad was bad. They make you wait a week. They make you come back every day while you wait. They don't give 6 months, only 3. They don't give Multiple entry, only Single. Well, only the first one turned out to be true, but that's only half the story.

My main problem was that, after five weeks, my Pakistani visa was about to expire. So I went to get it extended, thinking it would happen on the spot.

"Come back in three days", the cheerful official told me at the office, without even looking up. And so vanished any hopes that this would be a quick and painless effort.

So I went to Lahore to wait. And unlike the other two cities, Lahore is possibly one of Asia's most compelling cities, tons of history, world-class Mughal architecture, and, like all of Pakistan, the most friendly, welcoming and hospitable people you can imagine. My plan was to stay two days before heading back to Islamabad to collect my passport. The kebab I ate the night before my departure had other ideas, and I spent that day in bed, clutching my stomach, between trips to the toilet to get a close look at the bottom of the bowl. The next day being Saturday, there was no point in leaving Lahore until Sunday, to get my passport on the Monday.

So Monday morning saw me back in the capital, arguing with the dumbest taxi drivers I've come across yet on this trip. Islamabad, while definately a horrible, horrible place, is laid out in a sort of grid patern, with no centre. It's obvious the taxi drivers, used to the hectic streets of 'Pindi, have no grasp of this system. You ask them to take you somwhere, and they stop five times along the way to ask various pedestrians, all the while completing dramatic u-turns, and asking for more money. Hence the arguements.

I got to the office early, thinking I could then skip over to the Indian High Commission, and apply for my visa. But I had mised the small print on my receipt - 'Collection time 11.45 - 12.45'. So that was another night in 'Pindi. I met South African Larry at my hotel, who I'd hung out with in Karimabad, and as he was heading back to India as well (for his fifth visit), we went together to the embassy the next day.

All the embassies are located in the 'Diplomatic Enclave', a highly secure compound on one of Islamabads main highways. At the entrance is a huge sign saying 'Diplomaitc Enclave', but of course, you ask the taxi drivers to take you there, and they shrug, and take you on an unplanned, unwanted tour of the (really really horrible) city. Me and Larry arrived nice and early for this one, dropped our passports in, and were told to return in 8 days for collection. Larry headed for Peshawar, while I headed back to Lahore.

In a place like Pakistan, there is really only one hotel in each location where everyone heads to. In Lahore, this place was the Regale Internet Inn. Over the course of my 13 nights there, I met every traveller I had met in the north, with the excpeption of those who were going up to China. It has a simple set-up. Central location, a few cramped dorms, slow internet connection, washing machine, and free water. And a great game which I called 'Cannan Ball'. but which is really called something like 'Kerimboard'. Endless fun.

I quickly fell into a familier routine of late nights, and late lie-ins. Plans to head south to Multan and Uch Sharif were soon abandoned, as even getting out of bed took the greatest effort. At the end of one 5 day stretch, I calculated that I had got just 21 hours of sun. But Lahore is a great place to be stuck. For a start, it has the tastiest ice-cream I've come across on this trip, just across the road from the Inn. Not a single night passed without at least one visit. And there are things to do. The Badshahi Mosque, in my opinion, beats anything that Istanbul or Esfahan has to offer. By day it's nice, the red sandstone giving that 'Old India' effect. But by night it's something else that I can't explain (see pcitures). Sprawling south from the mosque is the Old City. Whenever I headed here, I knew I was guarenteed at least 3 conversations, 3 free cups of tea (despite that fact that it was Ramazan and everyone else was fasting), and 3 phone numbers, backed up by "If you ever need ANYTHING in Lahore, ring me". One guy blew me away by quoting Joyce, Beckett and Conrad, thinking that as an Irishman, I'd know what he was on about. Think again my friend.

We also went to see the border closing ceremony. It being Ramazan, our side was in fact empty, while there must have been well over a thousand on the Indian side. Still we shouted for Pakistan. If you haven't heard of the ceremony, it's difficult to explain, a piece of Monty Python-esque comedy as soldiers on both sides try to out-stamp and out-frown each other. A great day out.

Another great night was 'Sufi Night'. Sufism is a mystical form of Islam, and Sufis are known as 'Free Thinkers'. Basically, everone arrives at the venue and starts furiously rolling joints, two at a time (they have a special way of doing this that I won't explain here). Then the drums start, and they don't stop all night. The drums lure the Sufis into a trance, as they try to connect with Allah by freeing their minds. As the Sufis reach a state of ecstasy, they start to dance, spinning and spinning around, and shaking their head at incredible speed. Not unlike a rave scene.

On my second day at the Inn, a group of 5 Japanese arrived. These guys spent about 12 hours a day in the back room of the Inn, smoking charas (basically, when they weren't there, they were sleeping). They kept to themselves at first, but finally my curiousity got the better of me, and I found out they had been down south at a Sufi festival, with over 1 million people. After the festival they had gone on a 16-day trek through the Sindhi desert with a group of hard-core Sufis, and were now honourary Sufis themselves. They participated in Ramazan, and helped cook, and take care of the camals. Like I said, hard-core.

Eventually, Larry turned up in Lahore, and when the time came, we headed back to Islamabad for our visas. After a 2-hour wait, during which time the officials did absolutely nothing, we finally got our passports, and SUCCESS!, I got 180 days multiple entry. What was the big deal? With that, we were off to India the next day.

OK, time for one last rant about Pakistan. Go. Just go. Why not? Pure, unspoiled traditions and culture lie around every corner. From mind-blowing mountains, exotic Indian plains to the Baluchistan desert, from furiously friendly Pashtuns, easy-going Ismailis, out-of-their-heads Sufis, to shy Kalasha, from Old World Peshawar to cultered Lahore, my 7 weeks in Pakistan were perhaps the most amazing of my travels. So do yourself a favour, and go. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!!!!!

So it was on to 'Incredible India', and the changes and adjustments that one must make at every border crossing. The first thing that hit me was the women. It was like seeing females for the first time again! And we could eat during the day, in front of people! There was beer! And the religion. Much as I enjoyed travelling in the Muslim world, it was nice to move on............

............to a country of some 150 million Muslims (!), 25 million Christians, 20 million Sikhs, 8 million Buddhists and 5 million Jains, but which is still commonly referred to as 'Hindustan'. The first stop is always Amritsar, site of the famous Golden Temple, holiest of the Sikh temples. The great thing about this place is you get to sleep and eat in the temple complex - for free! That we did, for two nights. The actual temple is in the centre of a pool, surrounded by the pilgrim dorms. All day long, the holy book of the Sikhs, the Guru Granth Sahib, is read out in a manner not so different to the muezzin's call to prayer (when it's done right!). It's all very peaceful, and if you could drink beer and smoke charas here, it would be a hangout. As it is, it's perfect.

When it was time to leave, I headed to the train reservation office - I had the whole of India laid out before me, and 6 months to play with. Destination - Delhi!

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