Flight of the Phoenix.. or Mas Airlines

1:20 am, KLIA Sepang.

God i'm damn jakun. Its been eleven years since i got on a plane that stays in flight for more than an hour. This trip however, will take six. Boy am i in for a ride! *Beep* goes the scanning machine as it approves my passport and opens the door to a new world. No, not china. A new side of KLIA i have not seen before.

I was late as usual. My sister and I rushed into the train, stumbled over someones luggage as we got out and during all this, my jakunness was elevated a notch higher as i entered the terminal. I didn't know there were SHOPS here!? Sorry la. I have been to KLIA many many times before but not INSIDE the terminal, OK?

We got on the plane just in time. As soon as my sister planted herself on the seat, she gave me instructions not to allow the stewardess wake her up under any circumstances and five minutes later, her eyes were rapidly moving behind her eyelids evident that she had fell into deep sleep.

I was too excited to sleep. I WAS GOING TO FLY! I planted my face to the window and watch as the lights of the airport, putrajaya and cyberjaya shrink beneath me. Next thing i knew, i was twenty thousand feet in the air.


3:00 am, somewhere over the South China Sea

Why do people complain about airplane food boggles my mind to no end. Its freakin delicious la wei. I ordered fish for myself and took the liberty to order chicken for my sister. I ate both meals not because i was hungry but simply because i wanted to experience airplane food to the fullest. Pathetic? Shaddap.

Diarrhea. A great excuse to use the airplane bathroom. Unfortunately i really did have diarrhea and shitting in the plane is extremely unpleasant. The flush does not flush water but uses a suction method that sucks everything and anything in the vicinity. *SLOSH* and most of my shit dissappeared instantly but unfortunately leaving remnants of it at the sides. Shitting in the plane SUCKS. Literally. I opened the bathroom door covertly and sped my way to my seat making sure no one saw me coming out of that particular cubicle.

Twenty minutes later i had to go again and this time used a different cubicle and repeated the process.

I couldn't sleep. I tried browsing for players to play electronic chess in flight with me but to no avail. I shoud have known better than to wait fifteen minutes for someone to join my game. I pulled up my blankets and watched 'Hitch'.


5:00 am, somewhere over mainland china

I am one hour away. The summer sun is up early. China is waiting.

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