Monkeying around in Penang

We left the boat and travelled to Penang by ferry. You can, of course, sail there yourself but horror stories circulate about Penang harbour (complete with dead dogs and monkeys floating in the water) so the ferry seemed a safer option and it is only a 2 1/2 hour journey.

There are a lot of monkeys in Malaysia in general. They often congregate at the road-side looking for a passer-by to feed them bananas. I was quite tempted to try and interact with them myself as they do look very cute but I am not sure I really want a pair of hairy arms grabbing me round my neck, especially as I am not certain whether or not they have sharp teeth. I was also quite sure that my mum would not be impressed if a new furry crew-member with a tail appeared at the breakfast table because there are lots of tales abounding about monkeys scampering down the marina pontoons, clambering aboard boats and generally having a merry old time causing havoc up yacht masts.

Anyway, it was a busy couple of days in Penang. We caught a cable car up Penang Hill which gave us magnificent views but was a little unnerving for someone with no head for heights. It was also a bit claustrophic when I got sandwiched between what looked like my old friend Mr Walrus' brother and his wife (Mrs Walrus) on the way down. Meanwhile, my dad whiled away the time recounting tales of the many times the cars had broken down leaving passengers stranded..... At the top of the hill we did some exploring before enjoying a cream tea whilst being peeped at through the trees by a few of our monkey friends (when they took a break from hurling themselves from tree to tree by their tails).

My mum and I also took a trip on a Tuk-Tuk - basically a poor old mannie on a bike pedalling frantically whilst you lounge on a seat in front of him and see the sights. Although we have not been eating much (cream teas aside), I did feel sorry for the man (who was probably a great-granddad) and we had plenty of photo stops to give him a chance to rest his weary and spindly legs.

The food in Penang was lovely - we ate Indian food off banana leaves one night and local curries followed by mango and sweet rice the following. The last night we tried to have an expensive buffet dinner at a posh hotel (expensive being relative to Malaysia not Scotland - all of my immediate family being known for a reluctance to open their wallets too wide) but we were barred as my mum and I did not comply with the dress-code. My dad's initial suggestion that he could dine alone and perhaps "meet a rich widow" being promptly veto'ed, we had a lovely "High Tea" at our hotel. I had thought this a phenomenon unique to the North of Scotland although, admittedly, the menu was slightly different with some weird and wonderful variants that my dad insisted on sampling, including a strange sauce that tasted like a cross between syrup of figs and liquorice but the staff insisted was "watercress". "It will be good for your bowels whatever it is" pronounced my mum pragmatically.

Breakfast at the hotel was not included in the price of the room. On discovering that this would cost the exorbitant sum of 32 Ringgits (circa £5) each, we dined on muesli, yoghurt, fruit, coffee and toast for only 5.50 Ringgits (£1) at another restaurant where our dining experience included 2 fat chickens who pecked round our table in a friendly fashion.

Notwithstanding our nice dinners and ample breakfast, my dad was starting to worry about his unbelievable weightloss (my mum and I being singularly unimpressed) and took to supplementing his diet with "little snacks" like a huge plate of chicken friend rice whenever he felt a little "peckish" ("Makes him sound like a budgie!" snapped my mum).

One disappointment I did suffer was to find that Starbucks-speak has invaded even this far-flung corner of the globe. The barista-lady shot me a withering look when I asked for a "medium" coffee - "You mean a venti, of course?" Of course - bloody Starbucks, it's got its own universal language now.

At the end of the 3 days we flew back to Langkawi on what has to be the shortest flight I have ever been on in my life - there was barely time to get a glass of juice flung at you whilst in the air (which you had to drink in a gulp as the stewardess did an immediate about-turn to clear up the glasses). Literally no sooner had the seatbelt sign been switched off then it was tray-tables up for landing.

We then moved to a nearby marina (Telaga), went up an even more terrifying cable-car, saw my mum off at the airport and now my dad and I are getting ready to voyage to Thailand tomorrow morning. It may be a few days before we again get internet access but I will do an update on our voyage as soon as I can. I stocked up on provisions today but I am afraid that my dad may be feeling more than a little "peckish" at sea......

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