weddings, lady boys and stolen bicycles

My little friend Thong had his bike stolen. New bikes cost about $100-the equivalent of just over two months salary. He was just devastated. He admitted he had not locked his bike, but theft is a relatively new thing here, and folks are just getting used to the idea that they can’t leave anything of value lying around-sad, but true. The assistant manager at the place I’m staying had his motorbike helmet stolen in the two minutes it took him to dash into a store. Anyway, I ended up buying Thong a new bike. Just thought it was the right thing to do. He was very, very surprised and very grateful, and kept saying how I had given him so much and he had nothing to give me. I told him he could give me a tour of Luang Prabang the next time I come back-you may recall he wants to be a tour guide. I ended up introducing him to Champoo, and Champoo has agreed to mentor him. If this works out as I hope, it could be a great thing for Thong. Now, the rest is up to him. Champoo has offered to help him out, and he will keep to his word, so it’s now up to Thong to finish school and learn from Champoo. It was really, really nice of Champoo to agree to help him out, and I am very pleased I could make the introduction.

Champoo has changed considerably since last year. His English is much better, he has been working out and drinking beer and as he puts is, he is no longer a skinny Lao who looks 17 years old. He is so much more confident and comfortable with himself in a “western way”. He now looks at people when he talks to them and is very comfortable with hugs . In fact, he gave me an enormous hug after we had dinner.

The wedding last weekend was interesting. It started at 10 with a basi, and we were late getting there, so missed some of the basi-not sure how much, cause I have never been to one before. Anyway, it was very interesting. This is the ceremony-not Buddhist-which is a blessing ceremony. You have one if you are getting married, or if you are ill you can have a basi in hopes of getting better, things like that. There is a long white cord that passes from the guy conducting the ceremony to those who are receiving the basi. After much chanting, the cord is tied around the wrists of the participants. Then, cords are tied around the wrists of others who you wish to bless. Several of the old Lao ladies took great interest in the falang, so I now have several white strings around my wrists. I have asked how long I’m supposed to leave them on-some say three days, some say until the fall off on their own, else you break the blessing. So far, they remain on my wrists. Think I will leave them on, at least until I’m home.

After the basi, the wedding party started. It was about noon, and they started with the beer and the Johnnie Walker. It was hot, hot, hot, and if the bride or groom offer you a shot, it is very rude to turn it down. I don’t much like scotch at the best of times, and this was the worst of times. I finally had to be rude and say no, though I did drink a shot of water to toast them. Many, many, many years since I have consumed that much alcohol before 2 p.m.-in fact, it may be a first in my life.

This village was quite poor, so the wedding food was more modest. But, the booze was still flowing-freely. In this case, everyone from the village was invited to the party. I think they usually work so hard and such long days that when they stop to play, they play hard.

It is traditional for the groom to get totally and absolutely drunk. By three p.m. , he was passed out on a bed, and the bride was sitting on a chair outside the room. I said to one of the BBM staff what a shame it was that he had passed out, and I was told this always, always happens-it is just the Lao way.

The bride and groom were also very, very young. I was told 17 or 18. They looked 17, at the most. In fact, at some times, it looked like they were kids dressed up as grown-ups, which I suppose they were. The groom was also wearing make-up: lipstick, mascara and face powder or foundation-something like that. I was told this is also very normal and customary. I did not notice make-up on the groom at the other wedding, but that party was in the evening, so it may have worn off by the time the party started..not sure about this.

There was a lady boy at the wedding. He was a not a typical lady boy-most of them are really quite lovely to look at. This one was actually rather homely. So very interesting that in a culture where men and women never, ever touch publicly a guy dressed as a woman, with make up and the whole bit is totally o.k. and everybody accepts it. I asked Pho Ngu if that meant Laos were o.k. with homosexuality, and he said no, not at all...a mystery, for sure.

There is a rumour that a Japanese girl and a monk were caught doing the boom-boom, as they call it here. The monk was taken off to jail and the girl was escorted to the airport. I have heard this now more than once, which doesn’t mean it is true, but the Laos are truly scandalized by the mere idea of this.


Hmong New Year starts sometime soon-either tomorrow or the day after or the day after that. Not sure...times and dates are very flexible here...I am sure someone knows, but it does not seem to matter too much when it actually starts, cause it lasts for about ten days-guess they figure there is lots of time to celebrate. Not sure what will happen. I have been invited to go to a festival by one of the BBM staff, but not sure if it will happen, or when, or even what happens at the festival. Will let you know.

Have finished the research at the TAE C-finally!! And, have completed the report, so that is out of the way.

The chap from TAEC who was going to come in to BBM on Monday did not show up-at least I didn’t think he did. When I was up at the center yesterday, I said to him: you didn’t come on Monday,and he said, yes he had, but he was too shy to come in. So, he waited outside for a half hour, hoping I would come out. I must say, it never, ever occurred to me to look outside for him. I was a little annoyed, cause I had come in particularly to meet him. We will try again next Monday, and I will wait outside for him. Hope he is comfortable with the environment, cause I won’t be around the following Monday......date.

All for now.

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