Very Strong Cocktails - We Don't Check ID

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So we finally left Luang Prabang on a bus headed for Vang Vien and then Vientiane. Vang Vien is one of Emmas old haunts from her previous travels. From her description and the people we had met who had been there since we had decided to give this place a miss despite it being such a popular travelers stop.

When Emma went it was a one road town with few hostels and some pubs. The main road had plenty of open plan bars (read this as a wooden floor with some cushions and no particular structure) that showed endless reruns of Friends accompanied by every Western dish you can imagine with the added “Happy” ingredient. This would be marijuana or magic mushrooms added in unknown amounts. Accompanied by cheap beer and prices so low that it would make you wonder what you were drinking - the draw for many teen travelers is obvious.

There is also an activity called tubing that goes hand in hand with this mixture. Simply put this involved over inflating the inner tube from a tractor tyre and floating down a fast flowing river whilst the one or two bars that lined the banks would throw you a line and haul you in to buy a few drinks off them in case you sober up and lose your nerve. This had developed since the years of Emma's youth and now dozens of bars line the route and it even incorporates some light rapids for the seriously inebriated… I mean brave.

Now me and Emma as you all should have realised by now like to drink and would normally snap up the idea of cheap booze. But by this point we were tired. We had travelled non-stop for almost 3 months and found the idea of hordes of 18 year old drunks a little bit too much and as neither of us fancied putting our faith in overstretched rubber we avoided this option on the bus route and stayed on to Vientiane the capital.

We arrived in the capital well after darkfall and took the first tuk tuk to the tourist/backpacker area and went through our usual routine of finding a room. This soon proved to be more difficult as every one we went to had a sign saying they were full in the front. We found one that wasn't but guessed we weren't welcome there as we were quoted an ungodly high price for our budget and stuck out among the business like men in the foyer (plus it had a foyer which is obviously too posh for us).

We found a place on the front road eventually that was a bit more expensive than usual but had hot water, a toilet, air con and a tv. After dumping our stuff we went out for a bite to eat, realised we weren't really hungry and just bought some Beer Laos instead and a packet of crisps. We watched a Jason Statham action film and got an early night.

The next day we set out to see the sights of the city. We saw the very impressive culture hall (not sure what it was for but it was big) Oh I know this one..the Chinese donated it to Loas along with all their roads in return for trading rights or something....Britain did the sensible thing (will Carlsburg did which isnt British but it nearly is) and just bough 50%!s(MISSING)hare of Beer Laos) and the museum opposite but on our guide books advice gave this a miss as it recommended saving your dollars as most of the exhibits were poorly presented and nothing was in English. Around the corner from this was the national stadium and we had heard that the attached firing range was open to anybody with money to spend.

We had missed an opportunity to fire a gun in Vietnam due to lack of time and so thought we would check this out. We approached it on the map and looked up to see a sketchy looking character outside a locked gate smoking a fag. When you looked past him you could see the firing range but our confidence was not high as to the authenticity or safety of this so we wimped out.

On the way to back to a good looking pizzeria Emma got thirsty and got a drink from a street stall. She opted for a green liquid that turned out to taste of green - for those of you without well travelled tastebuds this is kind of like apple mint and veg all at the same time. This came in a glass bottle and the people can trade back glass bottles here to get money. As a result Emma got her drink in a plastic bag with a straw just like the locals with a big helping of ice (remember this for later).

We got to the pizza place and indulged by not ordering anything resembling noodles or rice. We got a fresh made pizza (we saw the bloke make it all) and chips in a big basket and savoured every moment of it. Towards the end of the meal Emma began to complain of not feeling well - "I don't feeeeel well" was fast becoming Emmas main quote.

We went back to the room and she proceeded to get sicker and sicker over the next 48 hours. I being the dutiful boyfriend kept the volume down to a minimum and settled down to watch any film HBO had to throw at me and went one regular runs for crisps and water.

We also spent the time recounting past illnesses of Emmas - Phnom Penh, Hanoi and realised that it was always in the capitol when we let our guard down. We dreaded the idea of returning to Bangkok, Thailands capitol, as Emma had not been ill there last time and that was too good to be true.

Once Emma began to feel better we ventured outside and even to one of the restaurants on the Mekong. This is not as flash as it sounds. They were in the process of digging up the whole river front and so the view was of JCB's and sandpiles. The wind was really strong and the electricity came and went. We did however get some really cheap food (noodles and rice) and there was a particularly enthusiastic (drunk) patron who kept shouting welcome! and smiling at us.

We bumped into Rory the next day and once again arranged to meet for a meal. He was rushing around being a tourist and sucking up all the culture he could as his trip ended in a week. We met him on the industrial beach for a meal and as both he and Emma were not feeling 100%!w(MISSING)e only had a beer each A real indication as to how ill we were both feeling, and I once again managed to order the most difficult meal on the menu. It was basically a clay pot full of broth mounted on some coals with all your ingredients for you to add yourself - once again the chef might have been ill or just lazy. We parted with Rory that night and arranged to meet in Bangkok.

We booked some bus tickets the next morning to take us on to Bangkok that afternoon. This would give us time to put our affairs in order before flying to Burma. On our last day we visited the Patuxai, which is basically a smaller version of the Arc de Triomphe and climbed to the top. We got back to where the bus was picking us up from and grabbed a bite to eat before being whisked off in a tuk tuk to our coach.

It was by far the best transport we had seen in Laos so far (we suspect it was from Thailand) and had comfy seats. Apart from the waiting around in no-mans land between Laos and Thailand for a few hours the trip went smoothly and even included a Nicholas Cage film and weirdly decorated blankets.

We arrived at Khao San Road early the next morning and grabbed a breakfast and coffee. It was about 4 or 5 in the morning so all the other people who were there had not been to bed and were still drinking heavily. This proved a great source of entertainment and we took our time so we could hear more about how they were all like their star signs.

Once we finished and the waiters started to pressure us to order more we headed off in search of a place to stay. We were under the impression we had paid over 400 Baht (8 quid) last time so we knew what to look for. We found that most places were either full (they don't kick out until noon) or so basic as to not include your own bathroom. As we were staying here for a few days to recharge our batteries we wanted some luxuries - like a shower.

We eventually found somewhere for 400 baht (turns out we paid 270 last time) but it came with air con, a bathroom and a TV. One more added bonus was the sensor that your entrance set off declaring in a stereotypical Thai voice "Hallo! Welcome!". This was obviously more so the owner could catch people sneaking in and out (as if their huge dog permanently kept behind a door didn't already do this) rather than being a friendly welcome but we soon enjoyed it for one of the strange things that have made travelling so enjoyable. Another added feature was an old grey dog that lay on the stairs in the same place every day. We ended up poking it to check it was alive - although the urine smell should have given us the same indication.

We spent our days in Bangkok doing some of the western things we had missed - going the cinema, shopping and eating junk food from the 711 (basically and American coop). We also found a stall that sold small pieces of BBQ'd pork on a stick dipped into a sweet chilli sauce. It soon became a tasty tradition to buy these whenever we passed. Although she probably wouldn't of appreciated the nickname 'Pork Lady' that we used (always out of ear shot just in case).

One big change to Bangkok that we had remained blissfully unaware of was the escalating political unrest occurring in the capitol. Basically a set of demonstrators called the red shirts were calling for the dissolution of the government immediately. We had learned of this just before coming (from Rory) and so had some understanding of what was going on. We still didn't know who was right or wrong but decided this would be best as we would not judge anyone. That and the fact that we still didn't really understand what was going on.

The protesters had set-up camp just off Khao San Road which made Emma's day. She could get in the middle of a real riot, cause anarchy and throw off the shackles of..... Well actually it was more like a festival... with a red theme. Everyone was happy and smiling, people were selling stuff and there were food stalls everywhere. We walked through it a few times but soon just found it annoying as it was overcrowded and people kept waving and saying hello. Those damn terrorists.

We went to the IMAX in the shopping centre hoping to catch Alice in Wonderland or some other great film. However the only film showing was How To Train Your Dragon (from the makers of Shrek) desperate just to see a film on IMAX we went for this and it was really really good. Despite not having the best seats we really enjoyed the experience and will be going as often as possible from now on. Once you've had IMAX you never go back.

Other than this we didn't get up to much. We wanted to keep spending to a minimum so rarely drank and ate pad thai (noodles with egg chicken and peanut) from street stalls for a tasty 30 baht (60p). We had a whole host of things to do including getting me a new pair of flipflops, getting dollars to take to Burma and working out how to get to the airport. We also planned to put stuff in storage so we could ditch all the impractical clothes Emma had brought with her.

Us being so organised we naturally left this until the last day and instead a few days before we were meant to leave Bangkok we met up with Rory for the last time in Asia. We met off Khao San to give us a chance to talk before the real drinking began. Me and Emma opted for a bottle of Sangsom which is the cheap whiskey and Rory was drinking Chang (my arch nemesis and giver of the mother of all hangovers in Koh Tao months ago). We saw this off in the quiet place and then gravitated to Khao San Road and a place advertising "Very Strong Cocktails - We Don't Check ID". Here we drank a few beers (I had a Chang) and then moved onto buckets.

A few hours (maybe) later it began to pour down and we luckily moved under a covering attached to our bar/street stall place. Here we were joined by 2 dutch girls and at this point things turn a bit hazy. This is if you define hazy as blank. We moved onto to another place and had yet another bucket. I also vaguely recollect grabbing a few beers from in the back but eventually being caught out when the bill came and they were all on it. We then moved to an inside place for comfier surroundings and then I woke up in bed.

Turns out I had gotten in a sulk and Emma had managed (some how) to convince me to go home. There were 711 cheese toasties involved and the next morning didn't happen until the afternoon. The days leading up to us going involved us sorting out dollars, putting stuff in storage and loads of other boring things. We did cave and have a subway on the way to the airport at 4am but this was all we could get as we had maxed out our cards withdrawal limits taking almost 600 quids worth of dollars out in the space of 2 days. This was because Burma has no atms and so any money you will need you have to get out before you go.

At the airport it all went smoothly. I was sat next to a drunk bloke on the shuttle bus who asked "have we sorted out a price for this taxi and do they know where they are going?........ oh wait I'm leaving the country, that's right Visa ran out..... so we are going to the airport yeah??" and I will always wonder if he made it.

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Photos

Really HOT chilli stuff
Emma couldn't taste her meal after a drop of this