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Published: July 31st 2010
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(Author's note: I was so thrilled to be greeted with 11 messages to my blogs, it is is hard to see the screen through the tears in my eyes. It means so much that you are reading my journey. It is difficult to respond with the way this program works, but I am connecting with each one of your messages, thank you. You really are all a part of it. I love you. This blog is a little on the lighter side. xo). As I sit on an airplane heading towards Vietnam, I thought I'd take a moment to share some tidbits about Japan that aren't in the travel guides.
The People The Japanese people are super nice. The moment I would pull out a map, a passerby would stop and offer assistance, even if they were on a bike. This happened at least two dozen times. (I was lost a lot). That being said, many Japanese do not speak English, so while their intentions were good, helpers were often not so helpful.
I am enjoying meeting people at bars and restaurants. My LP guide has a small dictionary which I use along with elaborate facial expressions,
The Girlfriend...
Of one of my new friends in Hiroshima charades and hand gestures, to converse with the locals. We are actually able to learn quite a lot from one another and develop a rapport.
But after a while, the words run out, the conversations taper, and the beers flow, which is when I like to throw in some of the less-known phrases in my travel vocabulary. Some of my favorites are, "I throw up often," or, "I am epileptic," and, "I have Diarrhea." It's especially fun to see the look on their face when I ask, "May I breast feed here?"
Crazy American!!!
Fashion Teens/Young adults look like living anime drawings; with choppy, messy hair-often frayed- and dyed peroxide orange. The clothing styles were as equally unique: flood pants, arm coverings, pattern-on-pattern layering and the highest heels imagineable. I couldn't tell if the teen girls were really in school uniform or working the "Oops, I did it again" style... Again.
Trashcans Japan is SO clean! But what puzzled me was how difficult it was to find a trashcan. Almost as difficult as finding a bathroom with paper towels or getting napkins with meals. Maybe that's how they keep the place so clean... no paper products.
Control Panel
Of the Shower toilet Speaking of Bathrooms...
Toilets I won't dedicate this journal to the toiletless toilets, because I only used those once. I haven't done enough yoga lately to be able to squat down over a hole and do my business without having undesirable results.
I would, however, like to discuss the mechanical "shower toilets." it took me a while to figure out all the buttons (although the pictures helped a little), but I quickly learned what these toilets were capable of...
To begin your toilet experience, the toilet knows when you lift the lid and kindly warms the seat for you. The toilet also knows when you sit down and "prepares" the bowl by raising the water level.
But the real fun starts when you're all done with your business. One button (for ladies only), acts as a bidet to take care of the hoo-hoo. Curious, I stood up and pressed the botton to see how it worked... but the toilet knew I wasn't sitting down! So I kneeled on the seat and pressed again, causing a little pink stick to come out and squirt water all over my shirt and shorts. Not the brightest move.
There's
also a button everyone can use! what I call the "butt-wash button". Press this one, and a stream of water... well, you get the idea. A dial controls both temperature and stream strength. I strongly advise
against turning the dial to full power (unless you want water to come out your nose).
What I do recommend, is pressing the button twice. It causes the stream to dance in circular waves (I discovered this by accident).
When you are complete with the wash, (say 20 seconds, 20 minutes... whatever), another button blow dries your butt with either hot or cold air. And yep, you guessed it... When you stand up, it flushes for you.
Who knew using the water closet could be such an adventure!!!!
And last but not least...
Karaoke I really wasn"t planning on singing karaoke. It happened by accident. It was just me and a bartender named Tomo...
A commercial came on for Japanese Idol, which made me ask if he knew Kelly Clarkson or Carrie Underwood. He crinkled up his face and brought out this electronic song selector for karaoke. I just wanted to see if he knew our idols!!! (Not
Directions on the toilet lid
In case you didn't know how it works one song by Carrie and only one by Kelly, BTW). He pressed play and shoved a microphone in my face...
What was I supposed to do????
Well, what I did was butcher Kelly Clarkson. But Tomo seemed to enjoy it. He clapped his hands widely to the beat and giggled gingerly. He reminded me of one of those little monkey toys with cymbals in their hands.
I still felt I needed to redeem myself after such a bad performance, so I gave Lady GaGa a whirl. This time, I tore it up!!! I was deep in the middle of my second chorus of, "Rah, Rah, Roma Ma," when the bar door opened!
And there I am...
Just me, a microphone, and a clapping bartender...
Exposed! Singing karaoke by myself.
Could this be a new low?
The only way I could redeem myself was to enroll this new patron into my karoke world. Once he ordered his drink (but before I told him I was an epileptic with diarrhea), I racked my brain for a song he had to know.
I programmed Celine Dion's "My Heart will Go On" and passed him the mic. He said, "no,"
and handed the mic back to me.
So there I am...
Just me, a microphone, and some Celine Dion...
"Every night in my dreams, I seeee you, I feeeel you..."
Now THIS was a new low.
But Tomo liked it.
When I did convince the guy next to me to sing (I let him pick his own song this time), he busted out with a very bad, nasally performance of a Japanese ballad. And there was Tomo, jumping and clapping like the cymballed monkey.
Was this the reaction my number-one fan gives to everyone? Even the bad singers? Who's to say if my Japanese karaoke debut was any good?
NOBODY!!! And with that answer, I spent the next hour belting out Janis, Alanis, Elvis, Britney, Lady GaGa and George Michael.
(And according to Tomo, It was very, very good).
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Melissa
non-member comment
LOL
Jason I'm glad to see that you are having lots of fun and helping to make us Americans look like bigger fools to the rest of the world. ;-) I love that you had to play with the high tech toilet and sang lots of karaoke by yourself. Thank you for sharing both your educational experiences (which I really have enjoyed) and the fun ones. Be safe!