A Night in a Capsule Hotel

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This is a tale of late night survival in Tokyo.... It was 11 o'clock at night when I boarded the tube, and I silently congratulated myself at having mastered the metro system. As I sat down and looked at all the incomprehensible Japanese signs outside, I thought to myself how easy it would have been to take the wrong tube. An hour later I look up from my book to find I'd gone the wrong way! I was at the end of the line in Shibuya, nineteen tube stops from my hostel. And this was the last tube. The words "damn", "bugger" and "blast" do not even begin to cover my cursing over my stupidity. The tube in Tokyo closes at midnight because the company that owns the metro also owns the taxi system. So they are reaping the profits 24-7. Taxis are not an option here. Even a short distance will empty your wallet, and a taxi all the way back to my hostel would have cost me £80 ($160). I kid you not.

So, I was stranded. What to do next? I checked my guide book for a nearby capsule hotel, but couldn't find one. (although I did stay in one several nights later). I couldn't afford a normal hotel, so the only option left was to stay up all night until the first tubes started at 5am. I bought a can of coffee from a vending machine. It was going to be a long night.

Tokyo is a true 24-hour city, I just had to decide where to go. I passed a 24-hour noodle bar, but even my immense appetite can't handle five hours of noodles. I tried looking for a 24-hour Manga cafe, where you can drink coffee, browse the net, watch DVDs, read manga comics or just sleep in their huge, comfortable armchairs for a small fee. I couldn't find one nearby either. The next thing I looked for was a "maid cafe". These are a remarkable concept. The staff are dressed as Victorian Maids, and when you enter they shriek "welcome home master!". For a small fee they will sit down with you and play games, anything from Backgammon to Paper-Scissors-Stone. But sadly I couldn't find one of those either. So I strolled the streets in seach of a bar. A young lady came up to me and said "massage?" A massage at 12:30am? I know your game love. I declined and then stumbled across the "Chandelier Bar" down a side alley. A small bar not much bigger than a postage stamp, this diminutive drinking den was packed to the rafters with just twelve people. The walls were red velvet and it had 47 chandeliers hanging from the ceiling (yes, I counted. What else is a stranded bloke by himself going to do?) After a few beers here, I moved on. My guidebook said there was a 24-hour bar nearby called "The Insomnia Lounge." Perfect! To my disgust it was closed. I was going to put a short note through their letterbox, suggesting they rename the bar "In Bed By Midnight", or the "Lightweight Lounge". Insomnia Lounge indeed, pah!

I found several more interesting bars, and consumed several more drinks. I had been hoping to stumble across a bar I had heard about which was done out like a gingerbread house. Or the bar called "The Office", which has photocopiers, desks and filing cabinets inside. But no joy on either count. The last bar of the night was sheer delight. I was made to take my shoes off at the door, and the entire bar was covered in thick-pile carpet, which felt delicious on my tired feet. And when I went to the toilet, you get given a pair of fluffy slippers to wear inside!

At 5am, I left the bar and ambled my way to the tube. It was amazing to see how busy the streets of Tokyo were at this hour. There were dozens of people converging on the station from all directions. This was a wednesday night, and yet there were people still in their workclothes stumbling home after a night on the lash. On a schoolnight! And I thought we partied hard in London.

On my last night in Tokyo I went to what I can only describe as the CRAZIEST bar I have ever visited. It was very difficult to find, because Tokyo has a unique street and address system. Only the main streets have names, the smaller streets do not. Let's suppose that an address is 4-10-15 Maranouchi. The part of town is called Maranouchi, which will be split into a series of sub-districts called "Chomes", and these chomes are split down further into numbered blocks of buildings. In this example, the address (4-10-15) is building number 15 within block 10 of the 4th sub-district of Maranouchi. Confused? I certainly was. Hopefully the photo explains it a bit better!

Anyway, this crazy bar was in a small basement where you remove your shoes and sit on the floor at a low table. The Japanese owner "Mark" has been described as Tokyo's answer to Robin Williams. As I sat down, a two-foot high remote-controlled robot came towards me with a hot towel on it's head. Mark was crouched behind the robot and he said in a robot voice "hello. what is your name?" I ended up having a funny conversation with the robot! Mark then showed me the drinks menu. It was a kiddies drawing book, with all the drinks scrawled in multi-coloured crayons. They were in Japanese, so Mark explained them to me by MIMING each drink, complete with sound effects of pouring and drinking (glug-glug-glug!). I ordered a beer. At least I think that was what he had mimed. Next, he pointed to another section of the menu and said "this is the style in which you'd like to be served". I picked one of the choices at random, and Mark disappeared into a cupboard. A moment later, French music starts playing over the speakers and Mark appears wearing an apron and a beret, and carrying a small artist's easle. I had obviously chosen to be served in the style of a Frenchman. He put the easle down, and started to sketch me with a pencil. He did a fairly decent caricature of me actually. Next he actually served me the beer, which he had poured into a tankard. As soon as I picked up the tankard, the whole thing started buzzing and vibrating, spilling beer all over the place! I put the tankard down and it stopped. As soon as I picked it up again, it started shaking again! This is another theme of the bar. Every drinking glass either moves, flashes or makes a noise. Next came the games! He had a whole cupboard full of funny table games, such as the old classic where you guide a metal loop around a wire, and if it touches it makes a noise. Hours of entertainment.

Next I wanted to order some food. There were three set menus, which Mark acted out with a glove puppet and a ventriloquism act. Mark would be playing the part of a customer, and the glove puppet would be Mark. He did three performances, one for each of the set menus. The first was of a drunken man coming into the bar, which was the basic meal to soak up the beer. One performance of a sexy lady enjoying her food, which I assume was the next level of the menu. Finally, a performance of a member of the mafia shouting and demanding food! That is obviously the best set menu in the house. I settled for the "sexy woman" menu, but had no idea what was actually coming. It came in three stages, tapas style. I was OK with most of the food, even the pickled sea slug. But the final plate had 5 or 6 items on it, and I had no idea what any of them were! One of them was a suspicious-looking grey cube of jelly with black specks in it, and another was a round slice of some gelatinous substance. The other items I really have no idea. I tried each of them, but to be honest they turned my stomach.

I left the craziness of Mark's bar, and went back to my "hotel" to sleep. My hostel had double booked for my last night in Tokyo, and they told me there wasn't room. So for my final night I was booked into... a Capsule Hotel! This is one of the quirky things of Tokyo that I had been curious about. I had dropped my backpack off earlier, and it was in a storage room. I arrived at the front desk, and swapped my shoes for a pair of slippers. I was then given a key to a locker and was asked to change. "Change into what?" I thought. Inside the locker was a toothbrush, a towel, and a pair of pyjamas! I changed into these, and left my clothes in the locker. Then I took the elevator to the sixth floor, where my capsule was. Immediately outside the lift was a bathroom, toilets and a small social area. There were Japanese men walking around, also in these funny little pyjamas. Through a door was a long, dark corridor lined with tiny hatches, most of them closed. I located my capsule, climbed a small ladder to get inside, then shut the hatch behind me. It was actually bigger than I thought it would be. There was a television inside, and a control panel with light dimmer, radio, alarm clock and TV controls. I had a play around, then settled down for a night sleep. I slept damn well. Capsule Hotels rock!

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Photos

neon nightlife
Tokyo is a real 24-hour party town

emergency coffee
raiding the coffee machine in anticipation of a long night

The Golden Turd
as this yellow construct is widely known

the confusing street system
No street names! Where would you find address "4-10-2 Kotobuki" on this map?

the unknown food
I still don't know what any of this was, even after eating it

introducing "Mark"
my crazy host and his remote-control robot

the capsule hotel
rows and rows of sleeping capsules. Reminds me of Invasion of the Body Snatchers or something

check out the pyjamas!
guaranteed to be a hit with the ladies with this sexy sleeping attire. The slippers are the finishing touch

Comments

[Zara]

Great Job!
Loved your blog on Japan. It was so funny! Just what I needed to brighten my day. I'm from the US, in Laos now, but heading toward Japan in a few weeks. Sounds like I'm in for a treat. Can you tell me what the name of that capsule hotel was? I'm trying to find something decently priced in Tokyo. Thanks.

[Tucson]

Capsule PJ's
I really enjoyed reading this entry. I have not been to Japan but am thinking of going this summer. I will bookmark your blog. I also want to stay in a Capsule Hotel and now I want to meet Mark! Mary