A Day at the Sumo

Friday 25th September 2009

Ok, think of the fattest, most grotesquely ugly rugby forward you can imagine (or maybe the referee from our Edinburgh match. Yes, him). Now dress them in a thong. This is Japan's national hero. Now, in their thong, imagine this person bending down to touch their toes five times, ass towards audience, lift up their leg as high as possible so you get the full view of cellulite, and then slap themselves haka style to get the flesh wobbling intimidatingly. Then get them to launch themselves at an even bigger Michelin-man figure and bitch-slap them until one falls in a ground-shaking crash that sends rolls of fat flying in every which direction. This is sumo. Japan is one hell of a country.

So, back in Tokyo for my final two days in Japan, which feels entirely surreal. I can't believe five weeks have already passed and that I have to head back to the 'real world' now. More specifically, the 'real Asia': bargaining, touts, scammers, dirt and cold showers. (Weep) It really does feel that Japan exists in a little bubble of its own on the other side of the world. A peculiar bubble full of animated porn and obese wrestling, tis true, but certainly unlike its nearest neighbours. For my last full day in the country I had bought tickets for the sumo tournament that was fortunately being held in Tokyo in September, and it was definitely a hell of an experience.

Sumo has been going on for 1,500 years, and one of the fascinating things about it is just how much has survived from back then. Originally a religious ritual with harvest and fertility overtones, the ring (dohyo) today still has the roof of a shinto shrine suspended above it, and the referees wear traditional shinto priest hats. There's a whole long drawn-out ritual to each match as well. Each combatant enters the ring and performs a kind of haka, stamping to rid the dohyo of evil spirits and clapping to attract the gods attention. Then they chuck salt around a lot to purify the circle and prevent injury, then drink some sacred water. THEN they enter this infuriating cold war ritual whereby they crouch in the starting position, then one of them changes his mind and goes off and shakes some more salt around or wipes his face, and then they go and crouch again and then repeat the whole thing. It takes ages to flipping get them to start, though I think the point is to heighten the suspense and get the crowd amped up as much as possible. Then, after all this dancing around, the actual matches are really short. They last anywhere between about 5 seconds and 2 minutes, the point being to either throw your opponent out of the ring or to get them on the floor. It's pretty cool to watch, if not something I can ever imagine wanting to take up. Interestingly however, sumo seems to be up and coming in other countries other than Japan. Bulgaria and Mongolia, as well as a couple of the South American nations, have recently been providing champions. I'm sure the States could provide a few as well if it were encouraged!

Tomorrow, my very last day in the country, I'll be wandering around the city in the morning, saying goodbye to my favourite Shibuya, stuffing down as much Japanese food as possible. and hopefully having a glimpse at Ginza too (Tokyo's answer to New York's fifth avenue, apparently) before hitting the airport. By Sunday afternoon I'll be in Hanoi, and ready to start the next step of the trip! As I said, feels very weird. I've had an amazing time in Japan, and I'm going to miss it a lot, particularly the onsen, the gorgeous scenery, the food, the wonderful wonderful trains, convenience stores, the friendliness of every Japanese person I've met (amusingly they all say to me, in perfect English "But don't you find it very difficult? No-one in Japan speaks English!"), the manga kissas and the general efficiency and order. I've proved you can do Japan fairly cheaply if you want, although you'll be eating a lot of the same food. However, I must admit that, being off the backpacker scene, especially outside of Tokyo and Kyoto, its got a little bit lonely here at times, and I am most definitely looking forward to hotel bars, cheap alcohol and generally a bit of a party when I hit the backpacker standby that is Vietnam. That is, as long as I don't get run over in the notorious Hanoi traffic....

Sorry for the shortness of the entry, thought you might want to see the sumo photos! The 'missing' chapter (10th - 15th September) coming soon as I can!

Stayed:
Tokyo - Khao San Original. The original version of the hostel (I stayed in the Annex before). Super central location in Asakusa and 2000Y a night, though a more cramped version of the annex. Free internet and kitchen, along with the usual stuff.

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Part of trip: Japan and Vietnam

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