"Go-Go Gadget Bitch Slap!" screams our protagonist, Captain James T. Kirk* as a hand extends from the top of his head to deliver a downward, open-palm smack across the face of his evil landlord neighbour, Mr. Stinkydickface**. The slap sends him reeling backwards, crashing hard into his computer (which was later found to contain vast amounts of child pornography and stolen credit card numbers). "Shoulda bought a muzzle, bitch." lectures Capt. Kirk to his arch-nemesis, as he motions for the enraged mob of sleep-deprived citizens awaiting outside to enter the premises and lynch the irritating dog that has been waking them up at 5:00am again. The mob tears through the house, breaking through rice paper walls to get at the incessantly barking animal. The dog, sensing impending doom, transforms into a space ship and blasts off,
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