the healing

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i was just looking over my last bali entry and i realised that i had missed out on talking about a totally amazing experience that i had whilst staying at a resort in candi dasa. one night there was a small gathering for one of the guests at the resort and, and i got chatting to the woman who owns it. she was talking about this treatment she does, which is something called vibrational healing, so i decided to try it out and see how it could work for me.

from what i understand, the basic concept of vibrational healing is that the healer communicates with your body in a way which surpasses the conscious mind. the techniques are used in order to discover what the body truly desires, what it needs to rid itself of, and it also acts as a way to discover the 'mantras' by which the one recieving the healing could live.

so basically i lay down for about an hour and a half, the waves crashing on a shore just beyond my feet, and experienced this amazing and beautiful thing. she first told me that my body had a deep desire to connect my physical being with my spiritual being, which i belive she did. she then discovered my physical, emotional and psychological weaknesses, which apparently are caused by poisons and potions recieved in past lives. it was just stunningly accurate, not for a moment did i doubt that this woman was for real. it was as if she was truly reading me, i didn't have to say one word and she just... knew me.

the emotions that govern my body are these; embarrassed, ashamed, and self conscious. it was like this woman could see through all my bullshit to what was truly me. no chance for me to be guardedly witty, or use my special powers of being aloof to protect what was really there. she just saw me. in doing this, she was able to go back through my past lives, and pick out the exact ones in which my body had been tainted by the poisons and potions that cause my body to be the way it is. she started this process in 1866, which from what i understand is not the year, but the label of a past life. apparently when something happens to a person in one life, that cellular memory is carried on with that person to the next life, and the next, and the next. vibrational healing is a way of erasing that cellular memory, so that one can truly be in this life, without something from the past holding you back. it is about not letting past emotions govern present situations. i love that idea.

basically, that hour and a half passed so quickly, and the memory of exactly took place is fading pretty quickly. but i will tell you, it was something extremely real and extremely physical. at one point in the session, my chest felt as if it was being filled with some form of cement, and i honestly believe this was a whole lot of useless emotion and negative energy that had been trapped, all welling up. when i breathed out, it was as if this completely left my body, leaving me with an intense sense of satisfaction and untainted happiness.

at the end of the session, she left me with a series of bach flowers, along with which comes a positive affirmation. this is something that is helping me through being in the UK, as i'm not finding it the easiest experience in the world.

holly: 'unconditional love', 'i am part of the world'.

rock rose: 'life's traumas cannot violate my inner core'.

red chestnut: 'the gifts i have to present to the world are unique'.

olive: 'i am aware of my physical needs and the balance neccesary to create harmony within myself'.

after my session, i just lay on my bed, completely blissing out with my thoughts. the simplicities of life seemed so beautiful and intense and vibrant in that moment. it was basically a stunning experience, my only regret is that i didn't have time for a couple more sessions before leaving the resort. im so glad i had this experience, it truly did clear a lot of things for me, and on what i don't believe is a completely conscious level, which is perhaps maybe better. the conscious mind can warp and distort changes and memories, whereas this kind of bodily interaction goes so much deeper.

i hope i did this entry justice, i can't seem to find exactly the right words to explain the experience. but it was stunning, i know i was meant to be there, doing that. it was so right for me in the moment.

that's all for this moment. i love you all. t x

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