Rhi-Rhi does India...Part 1

Nomashka! (That’s ‘hello’ in Bengali…I’m almost fluent). So…what’s been occurring so far on Rhi-Rhi’s stint in a Psychiatric Hospital in rural India?? Well, I’m not going to lie to you my lovelies, distinguishing between your average joe or josie blog (or more appropriately, raj or rajina blog (don’t have alternative Indian word for blog)) and the patients isn’t always so easy as the majority of Indians appear totally doolally! But, at the end of the day, I fit in proper nice here so I’m happy like init. Ok, enough with the Nesser, lets bosh this out before the electricity cuts me off (electricity is definitely more of a novelty than standard out here!)

Ok, so we left the Lewis residence in ‘plenty’ of time to get to Heathrow only to get stuck in a bloody stand still where Steevo reiterated the fact that you can never leave enough time for such journeys as ‘there’s always some pillock causing a hold up’. So we go through a tearful goodbye and I’m left to my own devices (always a worry), but the flight was fine apart from the limited film selection (settled for mama-mia) and I arrive in Kolkata the following day sleepy, nervous but also very excited. I was so relieved to be met by 3 other volunteers (Kay, Kirsty & Rosie who were there until the end of the month and were fab) after which my precious deriere endured the most uncomfortable hour of its life in a 1930’s looking ambulance provided by the hospital which exactly zilch suspension (bad times for botty). Benjamin (the driver) turns out to be the sweetest guy, really quiet and soppy with the lilun’s, but the most aggressive and erratic driver that even beats me!!

I had absolutely no idea what to expect but I don’t think any guide book or past traveler could of prepared me for this. The roads are complete chaos; to get a drivers license out here you only have to demonstrate you can operate the car. I cant believe there is any skilled involved in surviving the roads out here, I just put it down to sheer luck. Every single taxi or auto-rickshaw driver will try to cheat you out of money GUARUTEED and give the most ridiculous excuses e.g. ‘the traffic is too slow’, ‘you pay for my parking’, ‘its too hot’… I mean, if something is a certain price then fair enough but don’t take the piss. I either give them what I know to be right and hop out so their shouting at an empty seat or refuse to get out until they give me my change…you all know how annoying my welsh accent can get when I’m angry…they tend to give in pretty quick. I also didn’t expect to be everyone’s best friend - “you be my best friend?”…I mean, I know I’m lush like but I haven’t even spoken to them so how can they know that?? Also, your senses are totally bombarded…your taking in a nice deep breath of some nice smelling food or incense and then BAM! Sewage, or gone off fish, or chickens covered in their own crap, or ‘I just don’t even want to know’ smells.

I must admit I felt a little intimidated when we pulled up outside these high thick concrete walls with barbed wire and a guard outside. But once inside, it’s full of palm trees and ponds etc and is like a little community all of its own. Apparently, there was a bit of a commotion before my arrival where they had to move everyone around as they thought ‘Rahian’ or ‘Ryan’ as we would pronounce it, was a boy (painful playground flashback) but thank god my gender wasn’t questioned on arrival. I’ve been put up in the staff quarters where I share a little flat with the other volunteers; two bedrooms, two toilets and a living space with a table and a sink. It’s really basic (a kettle is the only appliance we have) and I shared a substantial amount of my first few weeks sharing the bathroom with about 3 generations of cockroaches (they could withstand a nuclear bomb but they were no match for my flip flop). Also, we have powercuts all the time which is a nightmare as you cant get any hot water or cool off under the fans and they can last for hours at time (can have about 4 or 5 power cuts a day). What’s even more annoying is that when I do get the opportunity to go into the village to use the internet, you can get there or be half way through doing something and the power goes off!!! This is certainly making me learn to be a lot more tolerant though which is probably a good thing.

I’ve actually become to feel quite settled here and its kind of like home from home at the moment! One of our neighbours, ‘Molly-di’, is an absolute sweetie and has taken me on as her surrogate daughter which means she gives me lots of yummy treats, makes me cups of tea and coffee and insists on squeezing my cheeks in an affectionate yet somewhat bruising manner. The food she cooks is amazing and is so nice for a change sometimes because literally, all they serve here is rice and potato curry…these people seriously have no understanding of the concept of a ‘balanced diet’ and I have a nice little rice belly as a result. Also, I am now a fully fledged VEGITARIAN!! Can you believe it? Well, I shit you not my friends. One dodgey batch of chili chicken and one sacrificial ceremony involving a goat right before my eyes has ruined me. I’d just like you all to take a minute to mourn the loss of my carnivorous appetite (the fact that I’m coming home 2 days before Christmas and have to settle for nut loaf…well, I’m just devastated I am).

In the hospital, I work 6 days a week and usually venture into Kolkata on my Sunday’s off to treat myself to a bit of nice food and maybe a lil shopping (the markets are amazing and I love all the haggling). In the week, I’ll sit in on consultations with the psychiatrists, do rounds of the wards just chatting and doing different activities with the patients and also visit satellite clinics in even more remote areas which have been amazing experiences. You can have a real laugh with some of the patients (English is spoken quite well by most of them) and there are some right characters out here! Both the patients and the staff are so kind to us and I’ve never met such hospitable people. It’s a really poor area where the majority of people are below the poverty line (30% of West Bengal are below this line), but they will still offer you whatever they have (usually chai which is the sweetest drink I’ve ever tasted and these ‘sweets’ which are like white dough balls and when you bite into them their full of sugary syrup and are actually the most sickly things I’ve ever eaten…I’ve got quite skilled at pretending to eat them but drop them into my bag. It’s quite difficult as they usually try to put it in your mouth for you and also my bag is now really sticky…nice). Also, because I’m in rural India, I have to cover up all the time so my hopes of coming back to you a skinny tanned goddess are looking pretty bleak. I fear instead I’ll be as white as the rice in my swollen belly…

For the next month I’ll stay working at Antara but am going traveling at the end of the month for about 6 weeks before coming back here for 2 weeks to say goodbye to everyone. I’m planning to take a train to Darjeeling which is right up in the mountains and is famous for its mass tea production so I’ll be sampling some of that chilling out on a hill for a while. One of the patients is possibly hooking me up with the mountaineering company HMI to take me hiking as he apparently used to work for them, but since he’s in the loony-bin I think I’ll have to check that one out before I leave…Then I plan to go to Varanasi which is right on the Ganges and then onto Bodhgaya which is Budda was supposed to have found enlightenment under the bodhi tree. Then I have a trip book starting in Delhi, then onto Rajasthan and Agra and then a flight to Nepal to stay in Katmandu and Pokhara and hike the Annapurnas for a few days before going back to Delhi. I cant wait and think I’ll be fine on my tod…had a run in with an auto-rickshaw driver last week to tried to cheat me on the fare so I got back in and sat next to him and refused to move until he coughed up my change…not exactly a curry and a fight down wind street but at the end of the day, when all is said and done….you know what I mean?

Its taken me bloody ages already to right all this and there’s loads more I could say but you’ll just have to wait until I get back…got some proper hilarious stories but will deliver them in true rhi-rhi style over a bottle or two of wine…and a cheeky few tequilas on my return! Am missing you all silly loads and sorry for not being able to keep in better touch but will make up for it by giving special rice belly dance with crocodile musical accompaniment.

Hope all is good your end, keep me posted and if rhi-rhi advice sorely needed for matters of the ‘shameless’ type then I’m only a continent away…

Lots of Indian curry scented love,
Rhi
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