The last few days.... plus some lists, cause I like lists.

Well chaps, here I am again, back in Delhi, four months later. It's 2.30pm, and my taxi comes at 5.30 to take me to the airport, arriving at London Heathrow at 6.45am tomorrow England time. Very, very weird. I'd try and do something more exciting with my last few hours here, but its Republic Day in India so all the shops are closed (this sounds familiar...!) And anyway, I'm sure you're all DYING to know how my final week was, right?

So when I left you last I believe I was whiling away the hours in Siliguri, the town with absolutely nothing to recommend it, and thanking my lucky stars that I had managed to get a seat on a train to Calcutta that very evening. This lasted until about 4pm, when I realised that the polite young man at the railway reservation counter had not given me a ticket for tonight's train, as he'd said, but for the following day, and had simply failed to tell me. Panic stations a-go I rickshawed it immediately to the train station, only to be told that it was impossible for me to get a space on the train that night, that it wasn't their fault that the guy had lied to me, and that I would have to wait another 24 hours in Siliguri to get the train the following night. No bloody way. I was NOT staying another day in that place, nor was I wasting yet another day out of my precious remaining few waiting around (recall endless journey from Kathmandu and strike in Darjeeling and I hope you'll understand). Anyway, I kicked up a massive fuss, demanded to see the station master, claimed I was flying home from Calcutta the following evening and had to get the train that night, shouted a bit more.... and success! A berth 'miraculously' appeared, and I got a 75% refund on my first ticket, although I did have to buy another whole one. Mum, you'd have been so proud of me!

So, I caught the train, got a wonderful night's sleep (as a general rule I sleep really well on Indian trains - I think cause the bearths actually work out softer than most of the hotel beds I stay in!) and arrived in Calcutta at about 7am. I checked in at my hostel, had a hot shower (yay!) and set out on my own self-designed walking tour of the city. Now, before I came to India I had the same main perceptions of the big Indian cities as I think most people do - Delhi as the city of insanity, Mumbai as the city of the rich and glamorous, and Calcutta as, well, the city of poverty. But its really not like that at all. In fact I REALLY liked Calcutta. Its full of these beautiful raj-era red brick and marble buildings, some crumbling picturesquely, and its far easier to walk around it than Delhi (although that might just be because I'm used to India...) Plus, Bengali food is yummy. They do this amazing street snack called Kati rolls, which are paranthas (like gently fried chapatis) with an egg fried on one side, then rolled up with onions and chilli sauce (and paneer or chicken or whatever you like inside) and served to you in wrap form. They are awesome. Not quite as good as Hassan's chips cheese and beans, but excellent midnight fare all the same. Have found myself suddenly becoming a real foodie these last couple of months. I'm even collecting recipies and intending to recreate things when I get home. Totally not normal behaviour for me.... god knows what I'll be like when I get to taste real south-east Asian food! The final boost to my good mood was obtaining a copy of the LP to Vietnam, Cambodia and Laos, which made me ridiculously excited about trip 2, the latter of which I have now already planned to an extremely premature extent....

So having spent my first day exploring colonial Calcutta, I decided to get up early the following morning and get a taste of 'traditional' Calcutta, namely watching a poor little baby goat (I'd say kid but you'd all get the wrong idea) get its head chopped off at the Kali temple. Kali is the goddess of destruction and power in the Hindu pantheon, and West Bengal is one of the only places where blood sacrifices are still allowed, so I definitely didn't want to miss out. Realised that it was actually the first thing I've ever seen die before, let alone be killed. And the blood really does spray after the head is decapitated just like its described. Then everyone dipped their fingers in the blood and anointed their foreheads with it. Spectacularly primal, and a hell of an experience, even if the kid clearly did know what was coming, and was screaming in terrified fear. Not so nice.

After this bloodthirsty rite I went next door to Mother Teresa's original Home for the dying, which provides beds and basic medical care for the destitute in their final days. Now I'm a fairly cynical person, and I have a phobia of spouting the cliched platitudes that drop from the lips of evangelicals and, shall we say, over-eager do-gooders, but this place was really something. I just sat there for hours watching these people, some so thin they were unable to sit up, but chatting away with the volunteers, others just staring into space with the deadest eyes I ever saw, others unable to do anything but cry out harrowingly with pain. In many ways its one of the most difficult places I've seen in India, because it produces such a mix of contradictory thoughts and emotions. You feel like you have a responsibility to witness this suffering, and not ignore it, but you have a horror of regarding these people (or them feeling that you are regarding them) as just a tourist attraction, another sight to tick off. You also automatically really want to help, but you are besieged by doubt that anything you could do would really make a difference, given the short time of your stay, and your limited capabilities, and the number of people they have already. Worst of all, you wonder if whether by volunteering you would only be making yourself feel better and assuaging your own guilt, rather than actually having any effect. There is nothing worse than the self-righteous volunteer. So, the home for the dying was wonderful, but a mixed experience. However, I talked to some of the volunteers working there, and the woman in charge, and they said that a lot of the people who come can only do it for a couple of days, and its not necessarily a bad thing if you get more out of it than they do, because it encourages you not to forget about such issues, and to be more motivated to do other such things. They encouraged me to go and register the following day at the Motherhouse (where Mother Teresa's tomb and her memorial museum is), although as it turned out when I went, the only day I could do was the day when the volunteers didn't work. So that was a real shame - hopefully next time.

After the home for the dying I walked all the way to the Victoria Memorial, a spectacular white marble museum/exhibition hall built in honour of the Empress, visited a Planetarium, a Cathedral, and ended the day getting drunk with a load of Nigerian pro-footballers. Standard stuff. The next two days followed much the same, only with a hangover!

One thing that really made my week though, was something totally random. In that one night in Delhi between finishing my Rajasthan tour and flying down to Kerala to meet Cooper, I may have mentioned I'd gone to a bar and met an (extremely attractive!) Irish guy, who had been coming back to India for years, and was a photographer. He showed me some of his photographs, mainly of Calcutta, which, believe me, are fan-bloody-tastic. They are all in black and white, focusing on usually one or two single people, involved in everyday activities on the streets of India. His name's Thomas Patrick Kiernan if you want to look him up (which you should!) Anyway, I was in an internet cafe in Calcutta and saw a flyer for an exhibition of this photographer, and immediately recognised the photo and name (which, frankly, I think is quite impressive, considering how much I'd had to drink when I'd met him). It turned out it *was* him, and he remembered me too, and he had a whole collection of original photographic prints for sale, as well as postcards, one in particular of which I couldn't resist. So there we are, add 'purchase of first piece of original artwork' to the list of things that is making me feel older! Not only is the photograph beautiful, but it really bookends my trip for me, having met this guy in Delhi a month in, and then seeing him by chance again in the last couple of days of my trip.

[Speaking of meeting people again by chance, by the way, I forgot to say that when I was in Darjeeling waiting for the strike to end, I encountered Alexander, the guy who's thought up and organised the children's christmas party I'd got involved in in Mcleod Ganj. Turned out that the money we'd raised came to 10,000INR (about 1,200 pounds) and they were able to hold a party, and buy books, sports equipment and chocolates for every orphan left at the school, which is fantastic news and far exceeded our expectations.]

Anyway, back to Calcutta. It was now Thursday, and I'd decided to spend my weekend on a boat trip organised by West Bengal Tourism to the Sundabans, part of the largest network of Mangrove forests in the world, and home to a large population of the elusive Bengal tiger. I'd been to national parks in India before, and knew how rare the chances of seeing something were, but the chance was greater here than most, and anyway, when was I ever going to see Mangrove forests again? So Friday morning we set off early, transferring to a kind of ferry cum houseboat that would be our home for the next two days, and from which we would periodically stop off at various islands and watchtowers to look out for wildlife. Somewhat to my surprise, I found I was the only Westerner there, with the exception of one other British couple (who were great). The remainder was entirely Calcuttan domestic tourists with a ridiculous number of screaming, spoilt kids being dragged along behind. Now, I was used to the behaviour of Indian tourists, but the British guy had come with a real hope to see a tiger, and the poor guy was tearing his hair out by the end of the day. I too felt like banging my head against a wall. Not only did these tourists allow their kids to run wild and screaming over the entire boat without reprieve, but they had absolutely no conception that to see wildlife you have to be quiet! They piled onto the watchtowers, shouting to each other, crying, laughing, yelling at their kids, talking to people on their mobile phones - one guy even came along singing at the top of his voice! Obviously there was no chance seeing even a deaf pigeon with that kind of racket going on, let alone a tiger, which has incredible hearing. We could have wept with frustration. The poor guide explained to us that Indian tourists were always like this, no matter who much he tried to explain to them the basic principles of wildlife, and in his gratitude at finding 3 people who actually had some interest in the mangroves and what could be found there, he stuck to us like a particularly stubborn burr.
Whilst all this was of course frustrating, there were benefits, and I enjoyed the trip. Gliding along the smooth waterways in the boat was really relaxing, and because it was all-inclusive we got fed VERY well. Plus, Indian people (or at least families with young children) retire early, so after about 8.30pm the three of us were left alone on deck with our beers, which was nice.

We arrived back into Calcutta at 4pm, which gave me time to have some tea before I caught my 28 hour train to Delhi. What a difference between
this one and my nightmare journey to Calcutta! No hassle, no travel sickness, no delays and, because I had treated myself to 2AC, the class above which that I usually got, I could even sit up! Got into Delhi late last night, and this morning have been mostly enjoying the uncharacteristic quietness of the city when there is no traffic on the roads, although its a shame that all the shops are closed. Lets just hope my luck holds with my flights.....

So, that's it. The trip is over and its back to reality... almost. I've had an awesome time, and some things are certainly going to stay with me forever, but I'm also incredibly excited about coming home and seeing everyone, not to mention certain creature comforts.

Highlights of India - the things I'm never going to forget.

- Lying under the most incredible blazing sky of stars in the middle of the desert on the camel safari in Jaisalmer.
- Scrambling up a ridiculously unclimbable mountain in the dark in Hampi just in time to catch the most amazing sunrise, completely alone except for some curious monkeys.
- Hiking around Phewa Tal in Pokhara and having food and drink pressed on me by a family of the friendliest, most generous people I have ever met, in return for nothing but my conversation.
- Coming suddenly upon the awesome 'Big Falls' in the quiet hill station of Pachmari, so beautiful I cried.
- Experiencing the unbelievable Krishna festival in the middle of the temple in Udupi, followed by lots of cocktails at an awesome restaurant.
- Suddenly coming upon the serene, epic, neo-classical Secretariat buildings in Lutyen's Delhi, after spending two days in the chaos of the Old City.
- People watching at the ghats in Haridwar and Varanasi, sites of bathing, playing cricket, washing clothes, praying, hawking, strolling and, it seems, everything else.
- A boat ride on the lake in Udaipur at sunset, a complete tonic after a somewhat stressful day.
- Strolling through the hill station of Shimla on the way to the Glen, surrounded by raj-era buildings and pine trees, and experiencing my first taste of the mountains in India.
- Drinking rum and beer until late in the evenings in Gokharna, then strolling along the beach in the moonlight.
- The unfortunate series of events in Kannur, culminating in the "chicken biryani" guy and the power cut at our hotel. Where I realised that what can be a major irritation when you are on your own ends up being funny when with someone else.
- My first paragliding experience in Manali, floating over snow tipped peaks.
- Dressing up and drinking posh cocktails in Mumbai in a classy restaurant, then going dancing in Leopold's Cafe.
- Drinking games in Jaipur with the tour group, where I learnt the formidable new version of 'Ring of Fire' that is 'Boxhead'.
- Warm cafes, bakeries and bookshops in Mcleod Ganj, the first place I really learnt to kick back and chill out.
- Sunset over the lake in Pushkar, a genuine oasis in the desert, and one of the most beautiful little towns in Rajasthan, not to mention the most peaceful.
- The tiny little restaurant off the beach in Kannur that gave us a choice of prawns, crab or fish, all floating in a tank in front of us, and then whipping up the most amazing(ly spicy) prawn masala, the best meal I had in India.
- The car journey from Delhi airport and my first experience of Indian driving and traffic, feeling ridiculously excited to have arrived in India.
- Canyoning down a 26m waterfall near the Tibet border, followed by shisha and partying in Kathmandu, the best city on the sub-continent!
- The guy who took me on my first ever motorbike ride at sunrise in Udaipur, voluntarily and for nothing, and who taught me that not everyone in India always wanted money.
- Playing with 3 extrordinarily filthy street kids on the steps of a temple in Durbar Square, Kathmandu, who were entranced by the front cover illustration of my book, and who were entertained for hours with a pen and a sheet of paper from my notebook.

Things I Am Really Going To Miss About India:

- Of course, the amazing cheapness of hotels, food and travel. I am NOT looking forward to coming back to 3 pounds a pint and 7.99 for a main course.
- The sheer variety of cuisines available, and the freedom to choose between them based on a moment's whim.
- Drinking alone being a socially acceptable activity... well, among travellers, if not Indians!
- Indian food and drinks - masala chai, limca, pakora, paneer, butter naan, kheer, chow mein, momos, yummy fish and seafood, lassi. German bakeries and the acceptability, nay custom, of having some kind of cake at least once a day.
- The constant availability of public transport - taxis everywhere, buses stopping if you wave to them... not having to worry about how to get back and timetables.
- Knowing that whatever you said or did whilst drunk, you are unlikely to ever see the recipient again!
- The availability and price of books, and the second hand exchange system operating in so many bookshops.
- The fact that activities like paragliding and canyoning are not far-distant dreams, but a feasible, easy to arrange, day-trip.
- Getting to hike on my own. Its ridiculous that I've been all over India on my own, yet still must worry about walking alone at night at home.
- Being able to shock any Indian guy with basic facts about my life!
- Being able to move on when I want, to where I want, according to my own whims and without any set commitments to adhere to. Not needing to plan ahead for hotels and transport.
- Hindi music and Bollywood films.
- Not having to cook or shop for my own food! Ok, I don't have to do that at home either.... but I did do it at uni...
- Being able to repeat the same witticisms and jokes to a multitude of different travellers and them raising a laugh every time!
- Needing only hot water, toilet paper, and a nice meal to be completely happy.
- Independence from any one and every thing.
- It being ok to completely lose your temper and yell at an annoying or obnoxious hustler/authority. (This is only acceptable in India however, not Nepal, sadly.)
- The continual change of, and magnificence of the scenery. Desert, mountains, jungle, beaches, cities, lakes and so on.
- Walking everywhere, and covering 20km a day on your own feet being barely worthy of notice.
- Meeting people from all countries and exchanging cultural commentaries, national stereotyping and discourses on the English character being one of my favourite subjects.
- Going to a bar on your own and ending up drinking and playing games with a whole group of people.
- The ease of meeting people, the friendliness of the backpacker community, and the transience of such friendships. (That may sound weird, but it's a comfort to know that you will be getting different trains tomorrow if your conversation buddy is obnoxious or you have nothing to talk about).
- Random acts of incredible generosity and kindness from local people, that make you feel incredibly welcomed and grateful.
- The amount of (cute) kids around, and being able to occupy their attention for hours with pen and paper.

Things I Am Really Looking Forward To About England:

- Friends and family. Shouldn't have to explain this one, obviously.
- Hot, powerful showers, central heating, a warm, soft bed and a reliable electricity supply.
- Feeling clean, drying myself with clean towels, wearing clean clothes, washing machines.
- Clean toilets and a constant supply of toilet paper.
- Wearing something else than the same two pairs of trousers and 7 pairs of underwear. Fashion magazines and clothes shopping.
- Hair straighteners, conditioner and a much-needed hair cut.
- Roast dinners, salads, crusty bread, thick soup, mince pies, cheesecake, orange squash, bacon, pastries, cookies, coffee, proper chocolate, pesto and mozzerella pizza, nachos, McDonalds cheeseburgers, apple and grape juice, chips cheese and beans, decent wine, goat's cheese, B&J ice cream.
- The Saturday Times
- DVDs in bed in the evening when its raining outside. Lie-ins on weekends.
- Feeling tired and being able to relax and go to sleep, not know you have 20 more hours of bus and a hunt for a guesthouse before you can shut your eyes.
- Having someone sympathise and look after you when you are feeling grotty. Being able to complain whilst knowing you are not worrying someone.
- The new series of BSG. (Taunt all you want...)
- Rugby on the TV on Sunday afternoons, beside an open log fire.
- Driving, especially fast and on good roads. Music blaring on the car stereo.
- Oxford - Oxford people, pubs, colleges, rugby chat, existentialist chat, coffee shops and clubs.
- British accents, British characteristics including but not limited to: propensity to queue, politeness, reserve, attitude towards personal space, and social sensitivity, British ability to form and understand banter and gentle sarcasm.
- Hugs - I am becoming like the little baby monkeys in the study that died due to lack of other monkey cuddling :o(
- Walking in the English countryside, frosty mornings.
- Favourite books and favourite films.
- Knee high winter boots and winter coats. Leather jackets and a multitude of handbags!
- Clifton, Clevedon, the Mendips.
- Proper workouts, not just walking as a means of exercise.
- .... and of course, planning trip 2!


Books I've Read:
[I know that this will be of absolutely no interest to anyone, but I have the sort of OCD personality who makes these kinds of lists and likes looking at them.... you know you love me anyway.... right? Right?]

Jane Austen - Mansfield Park
Jane Austen - Northanger Abbey
Jane Austen - Persuasion
Iain Banks - Canal Dreams
Iain M Banks - Feersum Endjinn
J.M Barrie - Peter Pan
Ann Brashares - The Sisterhood of The Travelling Pants
Charlotte Bronte - Jane Eyre
Bill Bryson - A Short History of Nearly Everything (x2)
Bill Bryson - A Walk In The Woods (x3)
Agatha Christie - Date With Death
Agatha Christie - Postern of Fate
William Dalrymple - From The Holy Mountain
Daniel Defoe - Moll Flanders
Charles Dickens - A Tale of Two Cities
Daphne Du Maurier - Rebecca
George Elliot - Adam Bede
Ben Elton - Blast From The Past
Ben Elton - Blind Faith
Ben Elton - This Other Eden
Gustave Flaubert - Madame Bovary
Gabriel Garcia Marquez - One Hundred Years of Solitude
John Grisham - The King of Torts
John Grisham - The Runaway Jury
John Grisham - The Summons
Kate Holden - In My Skin
James Joyce - Portrait of The Artist As A Young Man
Rudyard Kipling - Kim
Rudyard Kipling - The Jungle Books
Jack London - Call of the Wild
Jack London - White Fang
Lonely Planet Guide to India
Lonely Planet Guide to Nepal
Lonely Planet Guide to Vietnam, Cambodia, Laos and the Greater Mekong Delta
John Man - Genghis Khan
George Mann - The Affinity Bridge
Jay McInerney - Bright Lights, Big City
Rohinton Mistry - A Fine Balance
George Orwell - Homage To Catalonia
Arundhati Roy - The God of Small Things
Salman Rushdie - Midnight's Children
Sir Walter Scott - Rob Roy
Mary Shelly - Frankinstein
Wilber Smith - Monsoon
Wilber Smith - The Seventh Scroll
Jules Verne - Around the World In 80 Days
Jules Verne - Five Weeks In A Balloon
Micheal Wood - The Story of India

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Part of trip: Backpacking around India and Nepal

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