benares...more on india

hey everyone!
so it probably seems like i am an internet dork but there is so much to share with everyone. just left varanasi, passed through agra to see the taj mahal today, and going to delhi before we hit up the mountains and slow down the pace for shanti shanti time.

varanasi...introduced to us as "the holiest city in the world," "the city of burning and learning."
experiencing the intensity of india within our first week. truly feeling a deep love and a simultaneous hate for the ground we are walking. our first introduction to mother ganga. although the energy of the river is sacred and pure, its filth emanates a different vibe. people showering and washing clothes where feces, ashes from dead bodies, and entire dead cows culminate. dead bodies burn next to the holy water so their spirits can be continuously protected in the afterlife. we sit above and witness the ritual from a distance that still seems so close. family and friends strategically stack wood and gently place their loved one on top of the created throne. first blessed with holy water, the body is wrapped in a white gauze material, with face exposed. as each individual is slowly burned into the universe, the overpowering smell of burnt hair and flesh fill our nostrils. although intense, it is still beautiful. releasing, mourning, and moving onwards through the journey of life. and as all this occurs, square buildings barely stand along the river and row boats cruise up and down the ganga. a strong energy that silences my mind and body. my thoughts fog like the black smoke rising from the dead. remembering to breathe, i take it all in- in with the positive, out with the negative. exploring narrow alley ways with shit everywhere- from humans, cows, goats, dogs, and any other animal present. flies and other insects swarm around unappealing food stands that look full of disease. and amongst the crowded streets, parades of families holding elevated bodies of the deceased disturb the traffic. not disturbing the flow, but rather joining it all. and for those who thought cows roamed wild in the fields...WRONG! cows digging through trash and struggling with cement barriers. rubbish and plastic the least of the dirtiness. as sunset approaches, pujas begin. bramas begin the chanting while everyone around is encouraged to join in. worshiping and sharing beautiful music as our offerings to shiva. learning through experiencing traditional rituals and customs. as night falls, energy changes. going from the ultimate high of spirituality to the low of fear and insecurity of dark and sketchy alley ways. disappointed with some of humanity but reminded of the desperation. trying to stay positive and safe...or at least grounded. frustrated with the dark shadows following behind us. looking over our anxious shoulders which seems to put us in the past and not the present and future ahead. knowing we are safe but also feeling the strong shiva vibes that throw people out of their element and off their karmic paths. but each and every interaction continues to balance with beautiful people sharing a part of themselves with us. remembering the balance that will continue to grow internally and externally. at our guesthouse, we reel in our new family with our fishing line of smiles. one man takes us for tea to meet his family, wife, and children, while another blesses our departing journey with sweets, flowers, and tear filled expressions. and as we depart varanasi, the city that i have grown to both love and hate, we once again enter another train station of desperation. wild monkeys and cows share the trash infested steel train tracks. feeling the dirt and grime permeate through my toes and up into my body. overwhelming stares intrude upon any personal space i thought i had. steel bed frames stacked on top of one another, with barred windows separating us from the outside. we have now adapted for a good nights rest on what first felt like a jail cell.
and on a cleaner note...the taj mahal! a beautiful, feminine, intricate temple of love. bright white marble decorated with lapiz, jade, and jasper. touristy and crowded but still amazing. orange glows from the sunset bring color to the bright white and we enjoy the tiny getaway from the crazy city of agra. next we pass through delhi and off to rishikesh...himalayas await patiently for our soon to be arrival.

INDIA HAS OFFICIALLY SOAKED THROUGH MY SKIN, INTO MY SOUL, AND PLANTED ITSELF WITHIN MY HEART.

love and blessings to all*
jamie

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