Tom Cruise my arse!

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Jodhpur was my first taste of luxury since arriving in India. We booked into a hotel within a colonial-style villa on the edge of town, and spent our first morning in the Blue City reclining on comfy chairs outside our air-conditioned rooms. Lovely. Our relaxed mood vanished pretty quickly though after getting a rickshaw to Jodhpurs main bazaar, which spreads out from the old clock tower. With sweat running in rivers down our backs, we decided to up the core temp by sampling some street food, a spicy little number which we ate standing right next to the pan of hot oil... with hindsight not the most intelligent move, but it was rounded off with a big glug of mineral water and some tasty Indian sweets, the name of which I still can't remember.

We worked our way slowly from the bazaar up towards Jodhpur's mighty fort, known as Mehrangarh Fort, the ancestral home of the Maharaja of Jodhpur. Like Kumbhalgarh, Mehrangarh is an imposing place, entered via a series of huge gates and surrounded by thick, high walls. Built in a rich, dark stone, it crowns a small hill which dominates Jodhpur, providing panoramic views over the town. The forts palace is a beautiful building, perched on top of the walls and sporting dozens of fine jaolis - carved screens designed to allow light and air in while maintaining privacy. We toured the palace's many courtyards and ornate rooms (many too brash for my taste, with glittering mirrors and coloured glass, plus some cheapo baubles contributed by the British), then strolled along the fort walls, admiring the numerous cannons and death-defying squirrels who scurried along the walls edge. Our first day was topped off with a meal at a rooftop restaurant, but we were dismayed to discover that the huge fort, which dominated our view, is not lit up at night... you would have thought the Mahajara could stretch to a few bulbs.

Our second day started with an impromptu rickshaw tour by Rishi, whose brother owned a spice stall in town and who, judging by the photos in the back of his motor, was a bit of a weightlifter in his day. Our first stop was Umaid Bhawan, a monolithic palace (the worlds largest private residence) built by the Mahajara as a labour-creating device (what a kind-hearted soul!) during the 1920s. Housing more than 300 rooms beneath a dome and cupola 105ft high, the palace sits on the edge of town like some grand parliament or courthouse, challenging Meherangarh for a place on the skyline. Unlike Mehrangarh though, access at Umaid Bhawan is strictly limited, and the entrance fee doesn't provide admission into any of the authentic art deco rooms... very disappointing. Better admired (if that's the right word for such a monster!) from a distance. On then to Jaswant Thada, a royal cenotaph and mausoleum perched on a hill not far from the fort. Carved from white marble and restrained in size unlike Umaid Bhawan, Jaswant Thada is an enchanting little monument which also provides great views of the fort and city. In places, the marble is so thin that light filters through, creating patches of illumination in the walls.

The last stop on our tour was the bazaar, where Mozza and Em wanted to purchase some of the famed Indian spices. We stopped off first to sample a Rajasthani speciality, the saffron lassi (which we later found out could have been a fake, made with died strips of newspaper!), then waded in and got involved in a good session of Indian-style retail therapy. Chuffed at being likened to Tom Cruise by a carpet salesman (especially as he looks nothing like him... sorry mate), Mozza was even happier to hear me called John Cleese by another observant stallholder... although Em was less than impressed to be asked whether she knew how lucky she was to be dating a Hollywood film star! Declaring our tour of Jodhpur a resounding success, we retreated to the serenity of our hotel for some lunch and an afternoon power nap, then dined at the nearby On the Rocks restaurant (great Chinese food) followed by a quiet beer on the verandah in preparation for Mozza and Ems first taste of Indian train travel... the 5.15am express to Jaisalmer.

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