Even More Reasons India is Great


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Asia » India » Maharashtra » Mumbai
December 29th 2012
Published: December 30th 2012
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Couples desperate for a few unsupervised moments alone line up like linked sausages to neck on the beach. All India STD refers not to a rampant venereal disease, but rather a place to make phone calls. Fights are fought with pointed fingers, not closed fists. The unmistakable whistle that signals a dance party… Tweeeeeeeet! Tweettweettweettweet! Tweeeeeeet! That all parties are dance parties. This is there also, hnnnh?

Salwar kameez worn with tennis shoes for an evening walk. Shiny polyester pants, ironed with a sharp crease down the center, worn as casual daywear. Handkerchiefs wrapped around shirt collars to protect them from sweat stains. Fabric billowing around bodies that have jumped fully-clothed into the sea. Mullets have not yet passed out of style.

A cow, a dog, and a rat sharing dinner out of the same garbage bag. Disposable clay cups and banana leaf plates. Barfi – a delectable desert with an unappetizing name. That sweets are served before and after a meal. A milkman delivers milk to your doorstep on his bicycle. A family of five packed together on a single motorcycle for a Sunday outing. Driving as if running someone over will do absolutely no harm. The autorickshaw.

Spray hoses in bathrooms. Ear canals excavated with matchsticks. Teeth brushed until white froth drips off chins. Himalaya Herbals, which makes every possible bath and beauty product from natural ingredients – with the exception of deodorant. An inborn ingenuity and resourcefulness that can find 101 uses for bubble wrap.

The swastika maintains its original message of goodness. Stores display their Timings. Grim-faced, deer-eyed candidates on political posters. A billboard that reads, “The richest Indians share their secret mantras.” A bumper sticker that pleads, “Lord Jesus Have Marcy On Me!” The lack of a sense of entitlement.

This country, this city has become a part of my being. Knowing that it will carry on in my absence – that new people will wash up on its shores to love it, to hate it, to find inspiration in its madness – brings me inexplicable joy. Mumbai meera jain. I will be back.


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