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Published: March 5th 2010
Hello all,
It is on an interesting note that I'm ending my time as a volunteer in Kerala and beginning two months as a tourist in north India. I couldn't be happier about my decision to come and live as a member of the community before departing to see the rest of the country.
On Thursday we finally took a visit to the Hugging Mother's ashram and... I found it quite vacant and disappointing! Having visited, and been profoundly moved by, various holy sites this past summer when I travelled to Israel, I was expecting some of the same feelings - we were at a place where thousands of people come to stay every year and worship this woman, where she has had a temple built with images showing her face on Shiva and Ganesh's body (Hindu gods - I think this is kind of offensive, like building a church and painting your face over Jesus's or something to that effect). I guess I was expecting to pick up on some sort of energy there, but it all felt very vacant. The people wandering about seemed empty and directionless and I felt absolutely nothing from the place, probably because it isn't an ACTUAL holy site and I have a sneaking suspicion this woman is preying on the gullibility of foreigners looking for answers and is using it to make money... that being (cynically) said, she does do a lot of charity work and has built many schools in the area.
It got me thinking about why I came to India and why most people choose to travel here... obviously India is known for its food, colours, landscape, culture... all these things that attract us from relatively younger and drabber, more unexciting countries. I came here with the intention of learning more about the country and the way it works and I am glad that I did it as a volunteer because it gave me the opportunity to learn about the country and the ways of life here that I never would have had simply coming as a tourist. There was a list of rules on the wall at the ashram discouraging guests from interacting with the village locals and from eating the food, and only eating ashram food or buying things from the ashram. It really turned me off; the reason cited was that Westerners aren't accustomed to Indian food and can get sick and that visiting villagers may disrupt their "traditional" way of life; but how can you truly visit a country if you are not permitted or encouraged to interact with its citizens in an honest way? And isn't one of the requirements for leaving India having at least one bad bout of "Delhi belly"? Like I said I was really turned off by it but it was good to visit nonetheless.
I spent today saying goodbyes to everyone here, and again had the chance to look back over the last 2 months of my life. It is so incredible the number of people I've gotten to know and the number of people I have touched and who have touched me in some way. The teachers at the school all pitched together to give me a small goodbye present and made a little speech about my work there. It's funny, because I really don't consider playing games for 8 hours a week hard work but they were SO appreciative I got so emotional and started crying and then they started crying... I had no idea I had had that much of an impact on them in such a short time period.
I have come to learn though, that it takes only moments to impact someone. Santha's story and her incredible spirit of survival and strength will definitely be with me the rest of my life. She is a role model and someone who is braver than I think I will ever be. On the same note, one of my proudest moments came when a student at B-Ghud told me she admired my confidence in travelling so far away from my family on my own and that after spending the day with me, she felt she was a little more confident herself and anytime she felt scared to do something she would think of me and try to be more sure of herself (another moment that found me crying on the bus ride home!). I am humbled every day, and grateful every day, for even the smallest things I have been able to give here and for the big lessons I have learned.
Every Hindu person who has seen the big birthmark on my back has gasped and told me that in Hinduism, to have a birthmark where your eyes cannot see it is extremely auspicious, and since mine is so large I will have much luck in my lifetime. I honestly believe that as I have been blessed every step of the journey I have taken so far and have met such incredible people all the way. I feel much more able to tackle the great unfriendly north of this country (that is kind of a joke, but I have been warned that the north is much more hostile to tourists than the laid-back, friendly south). I have friends to visit, yoga to practice, hills to climb and chai to drink and I really couldn't be looking forward to it more!
So I am now at the halfway point in my journey, dear dear memories behind me and more adventures ahead, and as always thank you for bearing with me and my ramblings! I miss everyone and think about all the love I have waiting for me back in Canada every day!
Much Love,
Shannon
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Lauren
non-member comment
Inspiration thy name is Shannon! love you and miss you dearly, girl. stay safe in the north, and enjoy your silence retreat!! Xx