How to get from Kaza to Shimla on 340 Rupees and a cracker.

1. Accept any ticket priced at 100 Rupees or below to Rekong Peo. Especially from Israelis as their parents will undoubtedly have rescue missions waiting prior to the landslide (not actually sure how this is helpful).

2. Roof seating comes highly recommended but please hold on, watch for overhanging rocks and DO NOT take photos for fear of death.

3. Neither looking out the window or screaming when the bus is reversing is recommended.

4. A lunch stop will take place around 12:00. The budget does not cater for lunch however so ration 1/2 cracker for energy for the crossing which will take place during midday heat at an altitude of approximately 3500m.

5. The budget also does not ration for more than 1.5 litres of water.

6. On arrival at the landslide, take your position against the rock wall until firing has ceased and be aware of falling rocks. This to those in the "know" is called "blasting". This is where your Israeli friends will come in handy.

7. Load all luggage onto front and back to feet can't be seen.

8. On arrival at the 'still sliding landslide' proceed forward along the narrow precipice untill bottleneck is reached. This way when rocks start to fall you can neither move forwards or backwards. At this point shit your pants and remove luggage.

9. Don't worry about your luggage, someone who takes death lightly will deal with this. Concentrate on one foot in front of the other, leaning in and staying alive. (Caution: Goats of the non-ballerina variety and sacks of potatoes will need to pass).

10. On successfully crossing the most dangerous 200m of your life, share a sip of precious water and a 1/2 a cracker amongst those that probably just saved your life.

11. Reload onto the waiting bus, and secure luggage to the roof. At this point we realise we probably should have recommended NOT to take the backseat, or should we say catapult.

12. At approx 9pm the bus will stop for dinner. We recommend purchasing Mung Dahl (15R), coconut biscuits 50% extra free (10R) and water (15R).

13. On arrival at Rekong Peo, immediately purchase a ticket for the awaiting night bus to Shimla (200R) and reload your luggage on the roof.

14. Sweet dreams for your magical ride through the mountains of Himachel Pradesh. You may want to take a moment to appreciate the starry sky as your shoulder slowly swells.

15. Tissue paper is recommended for motion sick passengers as water is simply too scarce.

16. At approximately 10K outside Shimla you may experience a slightly overturned apple truck blocking the road. Remove your luggage from the roof, walk to the awaiting bus on the other side and reload luggage.

17. Remove luggage and proceed to hitch to Shimla.

Please note for Health and Safety purposes thongs and socks will not be permitted on the landslide.

CONGRATULATIONS MISSION COMPLETE.

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