India in Allissaland

The last few weeks I've been able to get out to the western most state of Gujarat. Its a bit off the tourist track and a welcomed break for a weary traveler. I've slowed down a lot and started spending a week or so in each place instead of simply a few days. It helps me get a better feel for the place, people, and minimize the train/bus misery.
Today while lounging in the sun I made a list of generalizations (ok, stereotypes) about India. This is my best interpretation of the place-

-Sacred cows freely roam the streets eating trash and often dying slow painful deaths from ingesting plastic bags.
- fair skin is glorified and people use whitening and bleaching creams instead of self tanners.
- bollywood is real, cricket is life, and 'full enjoyment' with women is only after marriage
-marriages can be arranged or "love marraiges"- either way the ceremony lasts about 3 days and involve a night march through the streets with the groom on a white horse, while the bride walks with the crowd.
Multiple bands, a stereo and a generator compete for the most obnoxious sound
- Hindus, Muslims, Jains, Buddhists, Sikhs, Christians and everyone else COEXIST!!!
- Men have free reign when in comes to defacating in public. Women have to hold it during daylight.
- Stray dogs are fed by locals, sometimes petted, then usually kicked
- Men walk hand in hand or with their arms around eachother, but women and men NEVER touch in public.
- Honking is good driving etiquette
- Motorbikes function as the family van, SUV, truck, sportscar... you name it!
- Cow shit is scooped up, formed into patties, dried in the sun, then used to cook over
- Bhang (hash) is sold by government shops (only in some cities)
- Women often wear the families wealth in their noses, and around their ankles.. the jewellry of course!
- A common english sentence is "hello how are you i am fine auto-rickshaw" always matter of factly...
- Personal boundaries and common courtesy don't exist
- 'Non Veg' restaurants often resemble seedy backstreet bars
- Bars, when they do exist, often have 'vomitting charge'
- The longest section of the newspaper is the Matrimonial ads- usually including income, caste, state of origin, and EXACTLY what they want in a mate- eg sophisticated, highly educated (MBA), upper caste, thin, very beautiful, homely woman from Hindu Punjabi family age 23-25.

Hope this gives you an idea.... Its a beatiful, sacred, smelly, congested, friendly, corrupt place. Every contradiction can be found if you look hard enough.

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