Checking out Georgian Customs

One of my more interesting jobs this summer has been with AmCham’s Custom Project. We’ve been working on how to create a manual for Georgian researchers to time customs procedures at checkpoints along the border. One of my duties was to travel with some of the Customs team to checkpoints and assess how long it takes for goods to get through the customs process. Honestly, the work isn’t all that exciting. But! I did get a free trip around Georgia!

On the first day we went east to Red Bridge which is on the Azeri border. Dato, our Armenian driver, was nervous the entire way there because he was convinced the Azeris were going to kill him—Armenians and Azeris hate each other and have been at war for as long as anyone can remember. Dato’s nervousness was not helped by Giorgi who spent the entire way there telling Dato that we could sell him for $10,000 dollars across the border. See, trafficking can be funny! So, while Giorgi, Jacqui and I braved the customs checkpoint, Dato hid in his car and counted the minutes until we were ready to leave.

The next day we headed west to the Black Sea. We left very early in the morning because we were afraid it would be unbearably hot in our unairconditioned car, but in fact, it was quite cool and rainy. On the way there we stopped at shacks that were baking the most magical bread ever. It was filled with honey, cloves, nuts, apricots, raisons and prunes…oh my goodness! I have never tasted anything so fantastic in my life!

The countryside in Georgia is so beautiful. I can’t begin to tell you about it. The whole country is roughly the size of Rhode Island yet it has every single temperate zone in the world. It quickly goes from mountains to plains to beach. The only thing consistent about Georgia is that no matter where you go there will be cows in the middle of the street.

On the way there, Giorgi Pertaia, our customs expert, gave us a history lesson on Georgia. I don’t think he stopped talking the entire 5 hour trip, but it was all very interesting and funny because I could tell he was just making stuff up when he couldn’t remember the real history. He also gave me a tutorial on how weird Americans are. Apparently we’re obsessed with hydration. Whenever we have an ache, a fever, or feel dizzy, the first thing we’ll tell someone to do is “drink some water” or “make sure you get lots of rest and fluids.” He just laughed at me when I insisted that this is really what you’re supposed to do. It became an ongoing joke that whenever I said I was tired or had an itch from a bugbite, they’d all immediately insist that I drink some water.

At lunchtime we stopped at the most fantastic restaurant. All of the tables were on platforms over a running, babbling mountain stream. The food was good but I had a hard time enjoying it due to the caged bear not five feet from me. It was possibly the most forlorn creature I’ve ever seen. The people here aren’t supposed to keep bears in cages, but there was an entire brigade of police officers supra-ing at the place, so obviously this law isn’t strictly enforced. But, we decided to make the best of a bad situation and so we took cute pictures of Dato the bear and Dato my driver.

We made it to Sarphi in about 5 hours. Sarphi is a customs checkpoint along the Turkish border and the Black Sea. The customs facility was crazy and took some time to figure out. The actual border was nothing more than one Turkish border guard protecting a line drawn in the sand. It was possibly the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.

At Sarphi, some old guy tried to sell us some books and when we wouldn’t buy them, he insisted on showing us pictures of his youth. Apparently he was a Soviet sailor and the pictures were mostly of him looking jolly on a boat. Strangely enough, he looked just like pictures of my grandpa when he was young.

Then we went to some warehouses. This was all very boring so I’m not going to tell you about it.

Finally, we ended up in Batumi where we spent the evening and enjoyed ourselves. Batumi is in the region of Adjara which was one of the separatist republics until just a few years ago. Now it’s once again everyone’s favorite vacation spot along the Black Sea.

We ate lunch on the pier, and then we napped. Then we ate dinner on a boat. The restaurant served us the best trout with fruit sauce that I’ve ever had in my entire life! Our dinner was interrupted by none other than President Mikhail Saakashvili and the governor of Adjara—apparently we chose the right restaurant. We tried to get a picture with the President but the security guards told us he was too drunk for photo ops. Maybe next time?

After dinner we went on a walk through the city. We came across the most magical musical fountain you’ll ever see! Mostly the fountain played to classical music, but every now and then we’d get some cool pop culture shows…for example, the fountain display in time to the Mission Impossible soundtrack was particularly choice. At one point, a young Georgian woman started dancing a traditional Georgian dance—it was so beautiful!

The myth is that if you run through the fountain, all your dreams will come true. I’m fairly convinced that my co-workers were just daring me to get wet because how can there be a myth about a fountain that was obviously recently installed? But I decided to have fun and try it anyway. Besides, who am I to give up a chance to have all my wildest dreams to come true?!!!

The next day we went to Poti Port. I could have spent the entire day watching the big cranes unload the boats. It was so amazing! We then went to some more warehouses and then we drove home.

On the way, we stopped and bought some fresh honey. According to Georgians, it works much better to get rid of headaches than water does…

All in all, it was one of the best trips ever. It definitely didn’t feel like work, but that probably had to do with my travel companions.

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