Hi guys. I have been trying for a while to get videos up and hosted on this travel blog with only some success, so in the end I have placed them on Youtube. Here are the links:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gqD8kO5homs - A walk through Dili with Downplay cranked.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQyAAVdGwEo - The voicemail I got from Tez and Ambz when I was in Townsville.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fG-6c-0idkc - Sunset from East Point in Darwin with dodgy commentary.

Hopefully I will be able to work out my technical difficulties in the near future and embed them properly into my blogs. Hope you enjoy anyway.

Poice and Love
Monsa

Sunday November 23, 2008

I didn’t know everything shuts down in Dili on a Sunday. That’s all I have to say in my defence… I didn’t know! I guess it makes sense considering the local population is a very devout catholic one. I found myself with not a lot to do although I feel much better today and was raring to get something achieved this morning. Alas I have yet another bloody blog entry that will start with the same sentiment the last two have. Sorry! My Bad. But there is not a lot to report for today.

After I woke and found I could not in fact pick-up my motorbike I had ordered, I ended up back at City Café for a coffee. By the way the coffee here is excellent. The Portuguese left two things behind that the locals have continued with great gusto: Catholicism and Coffee production. By virtue of the fact that farmers in these parts cannot afford pesticide or chemical fertiliser the coffee is even organic. I cannot attest to the organic nature of the local Catholic Church, though somehow I would expect that it is just as poisonous as elsewhere in the world (that is just my devout agnostics humble opinion of course). I had two of the largest cups I could order… Yum!!
Upon my arrival here this morning the manageress came running over with a CD, a small blue note and a cheap but beautiful razor. I say the razor was beautiful because it is the first one I have laid eyes on despite some 5 or 6 days of searching. I was left wondering, with presents in hand, just who my generous benefactor might be until it dawned on me to read the bloody note. It read:

Jeff -
First 3 chapters of Miles, for you to
have a read, see what you think.

Added Pakistan also but it’s pretty rough.

Gillette Mach 3 was $10.50 (US) so I
got this thing. Bit average we know,
but if you have nothing it may be ok.
Tav n Meag.

I think I may be in love with those two groovy cats hahaha. A Razor… gloriously new in it’s packaging and sure to handle my rapidly expanding facial forest. The simple joys in life!! They often mean so much more than the most complicated achievement you are able to obtain. My Razor and I shared a long passionate moment right there in the middle of City Café. I cooed my love for it while it just sat there in my hand and did what razors nearly always do… nothing.

I was so excited about the shaving implement I had forgotten about the CD. It dawned on me just what I held in my other hand once I had stopped making lovey dovey eyes at my new little bladed friend. Tavis and Meagan have been chronicling their adventure with a view to publish their story once they complete the last hurdle and made Australia. I had just been graced with an advance preview AND been asked to offer my opinion on their progress. I know just how exposing that would be for them. They where showing me that they held me in high regard in a way they could never have expressed verbally. I felt simultaneously very privileged and completely, utterly, totally under-qualified.

I don’t want to give away the literary device they have thought of all by themselves. In fact I am being deliberately vague so that I don’t betray their beautiful trust. I can tell you I loved it!! I read the whole CD in one sitting without even stopping for a smoke and those that know me understand the power of that statement. I would smoke in the shower if the damn cigarettes didn’t get so wet and soggy. In fact I should probably admit now that I have, on occasion indeed smoked in the shower. Try not to be repulsed by my confession too much. I’m not proud of it. But this blog is my attempt to break down all of my inhibitions so that you, my poor reader, are given the most accurate narration of my little saga I can offer. I did smoke once I had finished and then promptly re-read the whole lot. It’s so Tav and Meagan… you can almost feel them rising from the pages and hear them when there is dialogue. I was on my third reading when it finally registered how they may in fact improve on what they had written and I spent until around 3pm typing out my most honest advice for what it is worth. I’ll keep you all updated on the subject later no doubt.

The rest of my arvo was spent wasting time on the net and listening to music. I watched the streets start to come alive again as sun set and found myself back at City Café writing to you all while enjoying one of the most amazing dinners I have had yet here in Dili. I started with the ‘Mixed Soup’, which was so awesome I burnt my mouth unable to slow down and let it cool. It was a corn and chicken based soup with piles of fresh vegies at least half an Olympic swimming pool in dimensions and yet still only just filled a small corner of my stomach. I had been so busy with Tav and Meagans project I had consumed naught but the two coffees all day. Next up is BBQ puppy… I mean chicken and I am currently waiting on its arrival. Stay tuned for my review of the main course. For now, while I wait I’m going to leave you and hit the i-pod again. Tour of Duty V has just started and makes me feel like I’m a GI in Vietnam during the war years especially since there are about 20 uniformed soldier in the café tonight… excuse me Buffalo Springfield has just started “There’s something happening here… what it is aint exactly clear… there’s a man with a gun over there…”

My deliciously spicy chicken arrived at the same time Tav and Meag did. I was excited to see all of my new arrivals. We chatted heaps again, while I ate my friends ordered before we covered the whole 'story they had left me' thing. Although it was uncomfortable for Tav to hear someone’s opinion of his work I think he appreciated that I had some ideas on how he could improve it and I didn’t just gush at him about how good I thought it was. We did some more going over my future route and laughed about our observations of Dili. I had been so bored today I was disappointed when all three of us big party animals started yawning in unison and sleepily made our goodbyes.

Back in my room I had hoped to escape the heat by kicking my air conditioner into full effect. I turned it on and waited for the cold to hit… and waited… and waited… damn!! The large box in the wall didn’t even try to work. Boy it’s going to be a long night tonight. I can’t even open a window, as they are screwed shut. I tried to assure myself I could handle it, after all my time on Invictus this was just a walk in the park Monsta! Eventually I dozed off and dreamt those kinds of wacky dreams I always seem to have when I’m suffering in the heat. Tomorrow I will see the manager and get it fixed but it’s midnight on a Sunday night at the moment and I couldn’t be stuffed getting dressed and trying to find someone right now.

Monday November 24, 2008

Well it’s Monday and I am feeling an internal pressure to get out and about, not a discomfort in the tummy but a burning desire to overcome the bonds of my little comfort zone I have created over the last week. Yes I needed that week, to chill, write, contact home and generally settle in but if I don’t get started soon I’m going to find I have waisted a lot of money and a two week visa in a country not many people have the opportunity to explore. Remembering back to Saturday night I dredged up my little to do list… what was it again? Ah yes… that’s right; (1) Start proceedings for my Indonesian Visa (2) Find a razor somewhere (I really need a shave) (3) Explore the western side of Dili (4) Avoid being run over. I’ve gotten ahead of myself and achieved number two already thanks to Tav and Meagan. But I can add a new task in its place; (2) Find a bloody motorbike. Number four is a work in progress that will probably never be ticked off my list while I am in Asia but along with a new entry; (5) Find and price some form of overland transport to Kupang in West Timor. I felt I had an achievable set of tasks for the day.

I have given up on the other bike I had found. The Timorese way of avoiding, at all costs, any kind of schedule means that not only was I unable to collect my bike yesterday but this morning my guy’s phone number elicits the same response every time I call. It is a pre-recorded message from Timor Telecom, in Portuguese, that I had one of the girls at City Café translate for me. “So sorry mister Geoff,” they refuse to call me Monsta, much to my disappointment… I really want to hear someone say mister Monsta haha, “this phone number is no good… no good mister, sorry.” What is it about Timor? I’m starting to get frustrated. Meals can take anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour and twenty. People rarely show up when they should and yet do when it’s least convenient (remind me of my story to illustrate this point after my rant OK). I have walked out of three restaurants that have placed a menu at my table and then stood out back gossiping for the next hour or more. Cabs are forever trying to ask you for $5 US when it is common knowledge the biggest fare in town is $2. Hotels are over priced and the staff reacts like it is a major inconvenience when you tell them your A/C has broken. I have laundry included in my room rate yet I am nearly 100% sure that my clothes are just being aired on a line before being returned to me. For a place with such tourism potential I wonder if the Timorese are not shooting themselves in the foot. UN staff may put up with being overcharged and taken advantage of, but your average adventure tourist has a plethora of destinations that would treat them with basic fairness and respect. Believe me word of mouth travels fast in those circles. Where is my bloody beer I ordered 40 minutes ago!! It’s giving me the fucking shits!!! Grrrrrrr!!!

Anyway back to that story I promised. This morning after my night of sweaty heat and no air-conditioner I needed a shower badly. I rose from my very comfy bed to hit the bathroom at about 8am. I could hear the domestic staff going through their paces outside my door and probably should have realised that with the other hotel guests all having jobs the girls would not expect me to still be in my room so late on a Monday. I was languidly strolling around my room in the buff with the shower running collecting those items I would require for my morning rinse off. I hadn’t even pee’d yet and although it’s kind of embarrassing to openly discuss I’m sure you are all aware of the male bodies natural defence against a full bladder while he is asleep. Are you? It has something to do with the urinary sphincter which when closed has the much maligned side-effect of producing a… well… I’m kind of blushing… ahhhhh… one word… noun… rhymes with iffy. Yes you guessed it… a stiffy, wood, boner, morning glory, totem pole, pitching tents, hard on whatever you want to call it. I was facing my doorway, indecently exposed when it opened and a tiny, young, Timorese lady entered. She let out a scream that would of cut through the neighbourhood and left people wondering what those white assholes had done now at City Café hotel. I had my toothbrush in one hand and a bar of soap in the other and was caught full freaking frontal, scratching and yawning, with no way of covering up in my reach. As Kylie Mole would no doubt exclaim.. How Embarrassment! The poor girl has probably gone on stress leave. Not that I have anything in the downstairs department to write home about… that was NOT how I gained the nickname Monsta… I’m perfectly adequate and probably in the average percentile of penile dimensions but damn if she didn’t make enough noise to leave people thinking I’m a human tripod. It suddenly just occurred to me how often I find myself in these situations. Maybe I harbour a subconscious desire to be sprung in some form of undress. I can’t explain it and believe me I will try to make this the last story about my package if I can. It was just too funny to keep to myself and you can’t say I don’t have the ability to laugh at myself now can you?

After a quick coffee and durry for breakfast I received a call from Tav. We had been offered the chance to have one of the go-for boys, employed at the stevedores Tav and Meagan where using to ship miles to Oz, attend the Indonesian embassy and pick up visas for us. Tav and Meagan have decided to take a vacation from their travels while Miles makes it over the ocean into Darwin. It may sound strange to you all at home but travelling is very different to holidaying. When you travel you are constantly working on something. Just think of all my to do lists days. Holidaying is kicking back on the beach without the worries of visa applications and finding a hotel, without research and discovery, void of worry and uncertainty that comes with exploring unknown lands. Get me? We have planned to catch the same bus from Dili through to Kupang from where they would fly to Bali for cocktails and massages and I would continue my rough ‘no fly’ adventure. We joined forces outside their hotel and walked around the corner to the Stevedores office to meet Troy and see what he can do to make our visa applications easier. Troy is an Aussie Ex-pat who has lived and worked in the marine freight industry here in Timor for the last 8 or so years. A top bloke who looks like Ken Oath for those who know him, for those that don’t he is a large, solid chunk of a fella with a shaved head, tatts and a goatee beard. He would not look out of place on the streets of Woodridge brandishing a broken 750ml beer bottle but is in reality a very helpful, personable fella.

We decided in the end we should first give our visa applications a go personally. Troy promised to find me a local who could rent me his bike for a few days (newly added item 2 just received a tentative tick) and Meagan and I parted ways with Tav to hit up the Indonesian consulate and see how we go. The consulate is in the far west of Timor city, where as we are located on the eastern side. A slow $2 cab through the morning traffic deposited us at the front door of the embassy. Meagan and I were just feeling out the situation when I met an older Californian couple, on a sail the world trip, who were keen to explain the application process to us, as they had just been through it themselves. After we shelled out $45US a person, navigated a complicated queuing system and complete a three-day wait we would be able to collect our passports and visas. I think I may have even found a way to get a much longer tourist visa than you can get by flying in. I ignored the fact that the usual tourist visa is for 30 days and requested 60 instead. I barely contained my desire to punch the air and yell “Fuck Yes” when the lady circled my 60 days and ticked it without correcting my oversight. We will have to wait and see what I get on Wednesday afternoon. I have high hopes, maybe naïve hopes but I’m going to take it as a small victory for the moment.

We returned to our end of town so that Tav and Meags could continue through their own substantial list. I mentally ticked items 1 and 3 off mine. Ok I had not explored the western side a great deal but at least I had been there and now know my way around for when I do get my own set of wheels. That left me just item 5 off my list and it was only 3pm. Whoooohooo I’m kicking ass and taking no prisoners. I am Monsta hear me snore… oops I mean roar hahaha. I made my way through Dili backstreets in search of Timor Travel; the agent who supplies the shuttle service through to Kupang. The guidebook says it is $13US per person and gives an address. I made use of my internal GPS, finely honed after all these years of delivery and courier work and found the shopfront without barely raising a sweat. Ok so that is a figurative expression. It’s hot and humid and of course I was sweating but not from worry or the frustration of being lost. I entered the small dark, dusty office to actually find someone attending the front desk! They already have it all over Mega Tours who I still believe is manned by some marvel comic’s superhero with the ability to become invisible every time I enter the building. I was informed that the bus is now $20US per person to Kupang…. Dang! I took details and told her I would get back to her. I also took a video on my digi-cam as I walked back with my I-pod blasting today. It’s not the best quality or the most stable visuals but I wanted to share what it is like for me moving around the backstreets of Dili. I hope you all dig it.

I was about to go post my blog early when Tav and Meags rocked up to City Café. We spent the night talking shit as old friends do and sharing our meals. God I enjoy their company. Such gold class people… I really do love em. They put up with my rambling philosophies and even manage to appear interested. Tav looks exhausted though.. he is ready to denounce Australia as his home country if Miles does not pass quarantine. It sucks that he is feeling such stress about this. Australian Customs are over zealous in my opinion. I have seen first hand what he has done to comply with their Nazi like requirements and I would trust him over a containership load of cars from China any day. I bet that he will attract a level of attention no commercial load would ever dream of having to pass. Customs shmustoms… a bunch of toy solders who all suffer mini-Hitler’s disease if you ask me.

I found a new Net café after Tav and Meags told me where I should look. It’s awesome with a young looking Chinese fella who now lives here and has the best net speed in Dili. It’s called Suga Café and the owner who speaks very good English, just told me not to rush, even though it is 10.40pm in Dili at the moment. He doesn’t shut till he is ready for bed apparently and he informs me he rarely passes out before 2am. What a champ. Everyone send some good wishes to my Chinese friend at Suga Café on Avenida Presendente Nicolau Toboto, Dili. He actually looks a little like Hiro from Heroes except maybe a little more hip. We are currently listening to Crazytown so he is defiantly hipper than Hiro from the TV. I think I’m in heaven hahahaha

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