The future's yellow.

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Unless there is a huge war, Beijing is gonna replace Washington DC as the new capital of the world, so learn your pinyin Boys. Oh, and if this is communism, then I am Chairman Mao.

The people in China are very friendly and helpful and some even have a sense of humour. Walking down the street, a bunch of people are giggling and pointing at the westerner: "HelLoOo" (more giggles). The best way to give the Chinese a good laugh is to try to talk to them in Mandarin - they love it. Follow that up with a few badly pronounced words from the phrasebook and they piss themselves silly.

All over Eastern Europe and Russia the food experience has been a succession of artery-furring dumpling-stuff and red-wurst sausage things. I don't think I have had a great meal since Prague. However, upon crossing the border into China, I could whiff great grub in every direction. Since that moment my life has been a gastronomic adventure. I am also getting plenty of greens now, Mum. Thing is, I am eating so much lovely grub that I am going to look a bit like Peter Kay when I leave this joint.

One thing we westerners cannot stand when we are in China is the constant hacking and spitting that these guys get up to. I wouldn't have believed it but you are never more than a few feet away from a freshly laid pool of gob. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em is my policy on this. My hacking and rolling technique is sadly not as good as it used to be in my skooldaze, but I feel a certain affinity with the Chinese by helping to spread germs everywhere.

Rant for the day: Why are club DJs so up themselves? They tell you that they are going to play your fave Donny Osmond track in five minutes and it never happens. Either that or they say they don't have it (liars, all of them!). So when I asked the DJ in Beijing's The Den to play the Chemical Brothers he didn't have it 'cept that he had played everything else from that ilk. Like Van Gogh saying he doesn't have yellow. Bastards.

Beijing is brill, so I am staying here for Xmas. Have a great one everybody!

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Photos

International Summit
Amazing how you bump into people! Amber in the middle was also in Moscow. Mic was one of the Dutch surfer dudes who I met in Iran and accidentally bumped into in Beijing.

Another dead commie
Meeting Mao at Tiananmen

Sunset shot
The Forbidden City, Beijing

The old town of PingYao
Probably the most intact ancient city I have ever seen. A must see.

Looks cool
Something funky from the Forbidden City. Don't ask me what it is.

Snow fight
Much as I loved PingYao, I had the most fun throwing snowballs at these kids.

Petra for Buddhas
The Cloud Ridge Caves, near Datong. Lots of carvings into a mountain go on for half a mile make a pretty amazing sight. The atmos doesn't compare with the "lost city" feel of Petra: turn 180 degrees and you can see a huge mining complex.

More buddha
One day, I may know my Buddha from my Boddhisatva. For now, I will stick to calling everything Buddha.

In the market for anything
You can buy anything from a Chairman Mao alarm clock to a crossbow complete with ammo at the weekend antique market in Beijing.

Great Wall
What can I say - amazing!

A way with words...
I heard that they are going to tidy up the english on signs, etc. in time for the olympics. This is a real shame: for example, this version of 'Please don't touch' transcends into a wise and meaningful proverb.

Comments

[anonymous]

Thats not his ego it's his fucking arse. - unbelievable

[anonymous]

Nah it's the fucking kicking he's due - George Michael