Adjusting to Life in China!

We have been living in China now for three months, but it does seem like it’s been much longer. In part, it is because we are so busy and have seen and done so many new things. In addition, we have made some really close friends here and spend a great deal of time with them; cooking dinner, barbequing, going out, playing poker, watching movies, and mostly just visiting and hanging out. I have not had friends like this, where we all hung out in large groups, since I was in high school. It is really nice and certainly allows for a much smoother transition to life in China.

Life in China is, well, not easy at times. To live in China, with its myriad of cultural, social, physical, and emotional adjustments requires a great degree of mental fortitude. Just about everything is different here; the food, money, available goods, values, ethics, personal hygiene, customs, medical care, and so on. At times, I have to pump myself up before I step out of the apartment, knowing that China is waiting for me. This is often intimidating, but can be exciting as well. I have read that there are four stages to “culture shock,” beginning with exhilaration, then a phase of withdrawal, then an adjustment, and again enthusiasm. I would say that we are mostly in the adjustment state, but can easily be slung back into the withdrawal state depending on what we experience in the streets of China on that day.

In our blogs so far, what you have seen is the prettier side of China or an edited side of China. We have intentionally done this for a few reasons. For one, who wants to read about the bad things? Secondly, many of things that we are adjusting to, we still don’t understand and certainly didn’t earlier, so it would have been imprudent for us to mention them. Thirdly, Carlan and I have not wanted to offend or mislead anyone (our readers). However, there are some things that you just have to know because they are funny, insane, horrifying, and baffling to us. Just keep in mind that this is coming from our Western framework, and that what is acceptable in China, and perhaps only the region where we are living, is at odds with what we are accustomed to in the U.S.

Well here it goes! Let’s discuss the bathroom situation in China. If you have ever been in a third world bathroom before than you might expect what you are about to hear. Bathrooms here, whether in a mall, restaurant, public toilet, et cetera, can be really quite terrifying. A pungent odor of urine and feces usually meets you long before you even see them, which can actually be quite helpful if no signs are posted. Before you go inside there must be some mental preparation, I think similar to what a soldier does before going on the battlefield or a detective entering a murder site. Once inside, you keep your eyes averted to everything but where you have to go, this way you don’t see more than you want to.

Now, if you just need to do the simple business, then for men it’s not so bad because there are usually standard urinals. However, if it is the more serious of business, well then you might have a couple of choices to make. I always try to wait until we get back to our hotel, apartment, or where I know I can find a western toilet. Unfortunately, depending on where you are in China, this could be tough; in Beilun, where we live, western toilets are not so common. So I have found myself needing to use an eastern version and some are quite shocking.

The standard Asian toilet is a hole in the ground. Sometimes, it’s like an outhouse without plumbing, where you squat over it, but don’t look down. Never look down, up, left, right, just go into it with the thousand yard stare, or find a happy place in the back of your mind. Most places do have plumbing, but these bathrooms really are not much better because, even though this is the customary style in China, many do not have good aim and it’s tricky to get in and out without getting another’s business on your shoes or trousers. In addition, you will frequently find western toilets in a similar state because many Chinese will stand on them and squat with the aforementioned accuracy (lack thereof).

I have inquired about this and it seems that many Chinese feel that the western toilets are unsanitary since your rear is touching the same surface as another’s. However, I fail to see the logic in this since a seat cover or toilet paper can adequately separate one’s cheeks from the seat and the end result is much less splattering and spraying; excuse the adjectives.

The most frightening toilet of all in China is THE TROUGH (add sinister music)! What is the trough? Well, exactly that. You squat over a communal trough that periodically flushes and, as you could imagine, you want to be at the top of the trough so others business is not passing below you (although you should not be looking down anyway). Also, there may or may not be stall dividers in the trough and frequently there are no doors. As you might be guessing, this means that others are watching you do your business, especially if you’re lao wai (foreigner).

Since we are on the bathroom subject, I must talk about the Chinese style of potty training. First of all, Chinese babies usually do not wear diapers! The first time I noticed this was when a toddler stumbled on the ground in front of me and his nether regions were bared. This in itself is not so bad, but what happens if the baby has to go and they’re in the mall? Well, you just hold the baby over a potted plant or in an empty space between aisles (like between shelves). I have seen little boys and girls go right on the sidewalk and not just number one, but also number two. A considerate parent will put down newspaper or a plastic bag to catch the goodies, but I rarely see this. Why do Chinese not use diapers? Again, it is because they see it as a cleaner alternative; this way your child is not spending time lying in its urine and feces. They also believe that it results in a more quickly potty trained child. They may have a point here, but that means constant supervision must be employed, and perhaps it’s really the adult that’s being trained.

In fact, it typically is the grandmother’s job to potty train and she will basically follow the child about, making sure to put it over the toilet as soon as it needs to go. In some ways it does make sense and is a greener alternative, but our customary attention to western sanitation, as well as our own sensibilities, makes it difficult to get used to.

Well let us cover things from the other end. In China, it seems that there is a great disdain for mucus. Either nostril mucus or deep throat phlegm is ejected from the body with great enthusiasm and at the most interesting of times and places. I am not sure why there is such scorn for ones bodily fluids. Possibly some Chinese have a greater amount than I am used to or maybe it is an ancient Chinese practice of cleansing and purging. Regardless, it is very striking to say the least.

When we first arrived in China, we quickly noticed the frequency and intensity with which people hawked goobers (Our Canadian friends call it horking--those Kanuks say the funniest things!). It is not just old men, country people, little boys, it is little old ladies, dainty and serene looking Chinese women, high-heeled and fancy haired ladies, men wearing business suits, excluded to no class, gender, or age group (quite communist actually).

Another method of clearing mucus from one’s body is to use the “Farmer Blow” or “Snot Rocket” system of ejection. This can, as can hawking a goober, be done in most social settings. I have seen it done on the streets of course, but also in stores, on buses, and even airplanes. Yes, I nearly dodged a blob shot at me by an old woman on our flight to Beijing, as well as on the way back by a younger “gentleman.” You must stay alert at all times in China!

I would generalize that in China, hygiene and sanitary standards are considerably different than the U.S. I am sure, for many, this has to do with access to resources. Many people in Beilun do not have running water in their houses (hutongs) and if they do, they likely do not have a tub, shower, washing machine, or sink. Therefore, standards of cleanliness are based on convenience. A short stroll down the street in front of our posh, security gated, and green apartment complex and you will see the reality of the haves and have nots.

Poverty is beyond apparent here and many people make do with so little. I am frequently reminded of this when I go grocery shopping and am piling my cart up with expensive western items only to attract the attention of curious onlookers. Many times I have been followed to the checkout just so the total price can be seen. I try not to use cash for big purchases in China, not because it is inconvenient, but because when I pay for things in cash it is much more obvious to onlookers how much I am spending. A normal trip to the grocery store to pick up a few things will often result in a balance that is two or three times the weekly salary of many Chinese. I can’t help but feel a little ashamed.

None of this should really be a surprise since China is a third world country, but it is also a developing nation with the second largest economy in the world. However, this does not mean that the life of the everyday Chinese person has been affected all that much by prosperity. It is really quite remarkable how socially structured Chinese society is considering that it is supposed to be a classless society. However, when I say there is a complex hierarchy in China, I certainly don’t mean there is a large middle class. Most Chinese are poor by any standard!

A good way to describe the social hierarchy is to compare it to rules of the road for China. As mentioned in earlier blogs, there are rules to the road, but they are loosely followed. For example, right of way is based not on who got to the intersection first; rather, it is who goes first and who goes the fastest. Usually all yield right of way to vehicles, then to motorcycles, then E-bikes, then bicycles, and lastly the lowly foot traveler.

This is also how some Chinese people see the value in others. If you are a walker, then you are the lowest in society. If you are a lone street crosser, beware (it’s like the game, “Frogger!”), but if you cross in a group, the oncoming car will at least be deterred by the fact that your mass may dent their car. This is not an exaggeration and has been explained to us by our Chinese friends. We have seen cars nearly hit old ladies or children crossing the street and have read or heard ghastly tales of people being run over and people not even stopping to help. In fact, cars continued to run over one person until she was just a grease spot on the road. There is little sympathy or compassion for the poor by the wealthy. I have often seen old beggars pushed to the side and scolded by young businessmen who could certainly spare a single Yuan (like 15 cents). Despite the unfortunate circumstances of many in Beilun, most people do seem to be jovial and crime is really not much of a problem, at least not property crime.

Unfortunately, there are other repercussions for such poverty which do carry a crime element. For example, prostitution is really common in Beilun. There is a red-light district just a short distance from our school and on bike rides and runs I have seen other such establishments in different parts of town. These too are basically just different red-light districts. In addition, massage parlors or hair styling boutiques are often fronts for prostitution, though it really doesn’t need to be disguised because I have seen the local authorities exiting such venues, while tucking in their shirts. In fact, prostitution is a minor offense (I believe a misdemeanor) and is largely ignored by most because it is a welfare network for poor girls who come from the countryside. It is usually not a choice, but a matter of necessity that drives them to sell their bodies.

Although it is considered to be socially unacceptable, many Chinese men do frequent these places. Embarrassingly, I have heard tales of some of our students’ parents and even some former teachers who were caught patronizing the local establishments; a bit disturbing. It is also a major taboo for foreigners because it reinforces the stereotype that we are socially inferior, even though most of the clients are surely Chinese men.

While on the subject of this socially inferior stereotype, I should bring to attention the Chinese concept of the “Middle Kingdom” and Mianzi or saving face. Mianzi is very difficult to understand and I am a bit baffled why no one, who ever spent time in China, explained this to us before we came because it is so crucial to adjusting. Mianzi basically is the same thing as saving face in the US, although we do it for different reasons and in a completely different way. We usually save face (id est lie) to protect ourselves or deny accountability. In China, face is a matter of respect. If you lose face you lose respect and if you allow another to save face then you are giving them respect.

What this means is that if someone makes a mistake, especially in public or professionally, they will not admit it. A great example of Mianzi is one which was recently communicated to me by one of my foreign students. His father owns a factory in China and most of the workers are Chinese nationals. He explained that when something breaks in the factory, especially within production, often the person who broke it will not report it and neither will anyone else. As you can imagine, in a large factory, with complicated machines, it could make it tough to diagnose the problem. When questioned, no one will admit that anything happened and will often lie to protect the person who broke the machine. They do this not because they are lazy, rather, they are allowing the person who broke the machine a chance to save face. Also, they are giving face to the boss because it was his responsibility to teach the worker and maybe the machine broke because he had not appropriately trained the worker. To expand on this, losing face publicly or at work is highly shameful in China and people will go to great degrees to prevent this from happening. Confused? You should be because I think most Westerners are. I certainly am.

However, from what I have read, and to a degree experienced, Mianzi does not really apply to foreigners because we are seen as inferior. To gain the respect of a foreigner is not really important because we are not a part of their perceived social network. If there is nothing they can gain from knowing us, they have no interest, and may even shun you. And, after all, we are a bunch of big nosed, big eyed, gesticulating, barbaric buffoons who may provide a little entertainment. This ethnocentric attitude that many Chinese share was startling to me. I expected most Chinese would be very friendly and respectful to me, and while this is sometimes the case, it is not always. Some people in China can be downright rude, in a way that would never be acceptable if they were responding to another Chinese person.

I have read that this ethnocentrism is supported by a strong nationalistic attitude as well as a historically reinforced idea known as Zhonggou (literally meaning Middle Kingdom) which is also the Chinese name for China. This concept of China as a Middle Kingdom goes back to around 1000 B.C., when they were unaware of advanced western civilizations and considered themselves living in a world in which they were surrounded by barbarians (id est Middle Kingdom). When the communists took over the name of China changed to Zhongua renmin gonghegou (literal translation is Middle Glorious People’s Republican Country) or as we in the English speaking world call it, the People’s Republic of China. Thus, China still sees itself as being a Middle Kingdom and this is, in part, reinforced by the government and schools and can be reflective in the attitudes of some Chinese. However, I think many Chinese are unaware that they are being ethnocentric (although actions speak volumes); it just is what it is to them. In fact, our Chinese colleagues, when asked about this, seem to be entirely unaware of it (or are saving face). Nonetheless, it is a very frustrating thing for foreigners and many of our excursions or ventures in China have been spoiled by such attitudes.

On a different note, if one were only to see China through our selected photos posted on this blog, they would assume that it is a really pristine and clean place. Again, our blog has been filtered and what you see is the best of the best and usually I am pointing the camera in a way to hide the ugly parts of China. For example, pollution, litter, rubble, and stank are also a common part of China. Even when you are in the most Western boroughs of Shanghai, you can always smell raw sewage. It is really quite funny, because you’ll be enjoying a fancy dinner at some upscale place and then the wind will shift and carry with it the foul smells of a latrine, rotting vegetables, or spoiled flesh and you will just smile and say…“That’s China!”

Pollution/air quality in China, even in “little” Beilun (Little is in quotes because it is supposed to be a population of less than a quarter million, but is probably closer to 2 million when you count the undocumented migrant workers from the western provinces of China.), is really terrible. There are days when my eyes burn, I get bloody noses, dizzy, feel weak or tired, or all the above and I am sure this is an effect of the pollution. In part, this air quality is due to the increased numbers of vehicles on the road, but it is mostly due to the fact that 98% of China’s energy comes from carbon (coal) generated power plants. In all directions from our apartment, several power plants can bee seen emitting black clouds that linger over the city. There are days when you can not see more than a quarter mile, despite the sky being completely free of clouds. In addition, the coal that is used to fire these plants is not very clean (This might seem like an oxymoron, but it is true that some coal is much cleaner than other types.) or efficient, and therefore greater amounts must be burned in order to generate electricity. Anyway, this cloud of carbon does eventually settle and it leaves a black residue over everything. The other day I was playing soccer, and afterward, while undressing to shower, I noticed that my legs were covered with a black dust, I don’t dare want to imagine how much of that is going into our lungs when we are outside.

Probably the thing I find the most maddening is the amount of litter that is scattered about. Everywhere you go it seems that tons of trash is there to greet you. In the cities it is not so bad because China has massive numbers of people whose job is to go about sweeping and picking the rubbish from the streets. However, as soon as one ventures beyond the city limits, near a stream, into the mountains, a lake, etc, then one is instantly surrounded by an endless amount of garbage. Sometimes, it is piled up, mulched, and then mixed back into the ground, and a building goes on top of it or produce (yikes!) is grown over it. I have never seen a garbage truck or landfill in China, I am not sure what happens to our garbage, we just put it outside and it is gone when we get home.

Recently, Carlan, a colleague of ours and I went hiking up Jiu Feng (Jo Fung) mountain outside of Beilun. It is a stone path that has manicured little parks along a stream that spills down from the mountain and built into the rocky outcroppings are little temples and pagodas. There are waterfalls over 50 feet tall and the path winds its way up to the top where you can see out to the ocean and all of Beilun. Sounds beautiful, right? Well it would be if the trail and all surroundings were not covered with trash. Even at the top of the mountain there was loads of trash; paper/plastic bags, potato chip bags, plastic bottles, Styrofoam containers, empty Kentucky Fried Chicken buckets, discarded old clothing. You name it, it was up there. I have yet to see a patch of water that does not have plastic bags and water bottles floating along in great amounts. Although big cities in the US have their fair share of garbage problems and pollution, the magnitude of it here is beyond comparison.

While hiking down the mountain, our colleague, Dennis, attempted to pick up some of the debris, but it was just a silly and futile effort. There was just so much that it would take a lifetime for one person to accomplish the task, but he wanted to show the people coming up the trail that this is what you do with your trash, you pack it out. I think his point was missed; it is just not in the nature of so many Chinese people to consider the environment a thing to protect. Or, they feel it is someone else’s responsibility to pick up after them. Never mind the fact that it is clear that no one is (evidenced by the underbrush that has garbage from several years ago in it). I really can’t explain this behavior; to have something that is so beautiful and just trash it makes no sense to me. I don’t think this is a thing that is supported by their culture, the Chinese of the past were very conscious of the environment, but I do think that these are dying values. I also think the government is trying to lead a campaign to clean things up, but few people seem to respond to this. Frequently, when walking in the parks or streets I will see a trash can that stands empty, but all around it will be piles of trash. It’s as if some people are uncertain about how a trash can works.

So after reading this you might be thinking we are not getting along so well in China, but that is not true. One thing for sure, we are reminded of how beautiful and amazing America is. Many things that we have taken for granted, even down to the roads we drive on, we have a new appreciation for. I must remind myself that the Chinese do not aspire to be like Americans and nor do we aspire to be like them so there are going to be obvious conflicts between our values. Nonetheless, we do have a lot of fun and many good laughs. We have made some really good friends and we are able to travel relatively cheaply and have a good deal of time to do it. Our teaching positions really make it all worth it. We have really sweet kids and their parents are excellent as well as very helpful, offering their services to us frequently. In addition, and most importantly, knowing that we have good friends and family at home who love us and we’ll be able to see this summer helps us get through the tough days. This is especially so when we get a new email or comment on our blog. I’ve said this before, but again, we really appreciate any email or comment, even if it is just a hello. It can often make our day. We miss you all very much and are looking forward to hearing from you soon.

With much love,

Thomas and Carlan.

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