You Wanna Smoka Da Ganja?

I’d like to start off this blog with a little bit of negative publicity for the Samsung corporation. Our two Samsung harddrives we purchased in Sydney for picture backup have failed…both of them at the same time! So, let this serve as a warning to anyone contemplating the purchase of Samsung electronics…think again!!!! They are rubbish!
In an effort to find warmer weather, we decided to head for Jinghong with a stop-over in Dali. From our reading, Dali was supposed to be a charming little ancient city with cobblestone walkways, stone buildings and a glimpse inside the culture and lifestyle of the Bai people…we figured it would make a good pause before our long trek south.

Our bus ride from Lijiang to Dali is best described as Chinese people engaging in vomit warfare against the mountain road, with the passengers in seats 4, 6, and 2 playing the role of primary bombardiers. In a feat that defies human biology and nullifies the laws of matter (specifically the one about creating matter), these three human faucets puked into little blue plastic bags for three hours as we raced through the hairpin turns at 3000 meters en route to Lijiang. With the acrid scent of stomach acid wafting through the coach, I counted a total of 26 blue bag bombs launched as we pulled into our final destination at an elevation of 1900 meters. It should be duly noted that the passengers did a remarkable job launching the bombs with only one bag managing to get stuck on the window, splattering a pale yellow liquid along the side of the bus. Entertainment and a bus ride for a mere 36 yuan per person.

So, Dali…hmmm. Lonely Planet poses the question, “Lijiang or Dali….at some point in your Yunnan excursion you will be faced with this decision”. Well luck (and freezing-ass weather to the north) was on our side and we had the good fortune to check out both. How to put this lightly?…Dali is crap. If your dream of a holiday in China is to hang out with lots of white people, eating burritos and pizza in pubs decorated with Bob Marley and Che Guevara while sipping a Long Island Ice-Tea after purchasing weed from some middle-age Bai woman (who also happens to be knitting a sweater in front of your hostel), then Dali should be at the top of your list. Commercialization and tourism sucked the soul of out Dali a long time ago, and, little of the original culture, spirit or architecture remains. (Sadly, it is easy to see same fate for Tibet in the near future as the mighty Chinese economic machine steamrolls from Beijing to Lhasa and beyond). Walking on Huguo, Renmin, or Wenxian Lu, you are constantly bombarded by Bai women in their 50’s quietly asking you in some whacked-out Jamaican accent if “you wanna smoka da ganja”. Our first solicitation came before we could even book a room for the night, and, when I refused the weed, she had a follow-up offer for opium. The expat-rich parts of town had a rather lame “college-town USA” feel to it…one bar had Linkin Park and Johnnie Cash blasting while groups of white guys competed to see who could drink the most shots. Critical, yes, but we had high expectations for a town with a 1000 year history, so we left after about 24 hours. Oh, on the upside, WiFi is ubiquitous and free so we took advantage and used Skype to call home.

Next stop, Jinghong, just a few kilometers from the China-Burmese border.

STATISTICS

• Flights taken = 2
  
• Intercity trains rides taken = 6
  
• Intercity bus rides taken = 16
  
• Times lost = 4
  
• Total instances of diarrhea = 2
  
• Total number of requests for pictures with Daniel = 1
  
• Total megabytes of pictures taken = 7,055
  

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