mountains, lakes, and toilets

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my disclaimer: this will be long and there will be a rather colorful
description of gross things so if you don't feel like diving into a novel or
reading about poop then do not proceed or proceed with extreme caution.

We just returned from a 6 day everest adventure. Most of that time was
spent in a landcruiser bumping our way through the backroads of tibet. We
stopped at some monastaries and small towns on the way to everest....but
i've seen enough monastaries for now so i can't exactly say that was a
highlight.
tibetan toilets are probably some of the worst i have ever come across. I
have seen some narley ones in southeast asia, but at least those had butt
sprayers to compensate. The basic format for the tibetan toilet is of the
squat variety. In nicer establishments there is a porcelin bowl and grips
for your feet.....a trash can for toilet paper and a flush. In not so nice
establishments there is an open room with two to three rectangular holes.
For me, looking in these holes is like looking at a traffic
accident---impossible to avoid. What lies at the base of these holes should
remain at the base of these holes....but as the savvy travel writer that i
am, i have no choice but to bring it to you, my gracious readers.
Typically, you know when the bathroom is near about 10 feet before you
reach it. There are flies and the occasional waft of goodness from the
wind. As you approach the toilet you hope that there is nobody else there
conducting business of their own---privacy is an unknown concept here. You
squat and hope that your boots or sandals don't touch sombody's missed
attempt. If you're me, this is when you look down.....and shortly after,
this is when you regret that you did. Below you in stalagmite formation is
a heap of poo and toilet paper and urine of every color and
variety.....depending which toilet, the stalagmite is growing too close for
comfort. In some places the hole is on a slant so at least your business
rolls down to a stalagmite pile outside. I am most amazed however at how
often people miss the hole with their solid waste. It's gross. i still
manage to pee on myself often....it's pretty neat and makes me wish that i
was a boy. Although the advantage to squatting every time you have to pee
is that it prepares you for the pooing experience. Boys seem to struggle
with their balance and unit placement when squatting i hear.
The worst toilet experience i have had so far actually happened at a nice
hotel. The lonely planet actually complemented the bathrooms as "clean."
Compared to others they were relatively clean. i sauntered in for my #2,
relatively pleased with my surroundings. All was going well until i plopped
one in. There was literally a PLOP sound and whatever liquid deliciousness
it stirred when it landed found my nose in a hot steamy aroma of horror.
immediately i was gagging and had to cut my business short for fear i would
puke all over myself. Max said he could hear me gagging from the next
bathroom over. The next morning at the same establishment i went to pee.
Overnight they had turned the water off so nobody had flushed in about 12
hours. THere was no poo to contend with, but the smell of old urine is
worse than any poop i have ever smelled. It was so potent that when i tried
to breathe trhough my mouth, i could taste stale pee and that of course
caused me to gag again....almost to the point of puking. As i was brushing
my teeth later that morning, that smell found me again and i started gagging
on my toothbrush----dad, you totally would've puked. But, i suppose that's
enough about toilets and bodily functions.....i'm sure that's really the
aspect of tibet you'd all like to hear about the most.Anyway. The kids that we shared the vehicle with were fun....except that the guy was a total drama queen. Anytime there was any
sort of discomfort or hunger or anything that wasn't pleasantry, there were
heavy sighs and grunts or actual complaining. It got a little old after a
while. His saving grace is that he has a warm, infectious laugh so once we'd all start
chuckling all was well again. We arrived at everest mid day. It's about an
hour from the park entrance that you first catch a glimpse of it. We
got to the top of a pass and the car collectively oooed and ahhhed. There
was a sweeping stretch of snowcapped mountains, but we didn't think any of
them were everest. I thought that we'd know right away, but everest
actually looked about as tall as a mountain to the right of it....so i was
unsure. The closer you get though, the more obvious it is. We were blessed
with a very clear, sunny day. When we got to the monastary at which we were
staying the view was unparalleled. The north face was completely
unobstructed and we could see the summit----it is a tall freaking mountain.
Base camp is a two hour hike from the monastary, so we opted to do it. For
me, it was almost harder than the trek we did at Ganden. The wind was
blowing full force against us....as if to warn us to stay away. I hadn't
eaten much for breakfast that morning so i didn't have much energy to fight
against the wind. The path was relatively straight and easy, with a small
climb at the end. The mountains around it are various shades of desert red
and brown, and at times there is sand. When we finally made it to base camp
i was suprised at what i saw. it is basically a town of permanent tents
complete with little shops, restaurants, and tent hotels. We stopped in a
tent called "Hotel California." There were two burly looking mountain men
that greeted us as we walked in. Turns out, they are making a bid for the
summit as we speak.
We got to talking with them. Their names are Brush McComb and Dave
Elsley and they are on a team of Brittish army men who are attempting to
summit everest via the western ridge. No brittish person has ever succeeded
in summiting via that route, so the goal of their team is to get at least
one person on the summit. Since March, they have been going back up and
down the mountain setting lines, establishing camps, and building their
endurance. When we saw them they had recently returned from camp 4, the
last camp before the summit day. They showed us and you could actually see little tents up there.
On everest's north face there is a long ridge on the
right that eventually stops and becomes a vertical rise that grows to the
summit. They told us that on the summit day, it will take them about 20
hours to summit and get back down to camp 4. It appears that the summit day
is the most dangerous because they must climb vertically up loose rock and
ice to reach the top. i questioned them relentlessly on their
motivation.....how they feel when they're up there....why do they do
it..blah blah blah. I told them of our trekking adventure and how miserable
i was and i asked......"To me it seems like what you guys do is nothing but
suffering. You're cold all the time, everything you do takes effort from
going to the bathroom to cooking to sleeping....and on top of that you have
a very large danger element, a real risk of dying...why on earth would you
want to do something like that?" Their answer was simple and very similar
to my own. They said that it makes them appreciate life so much more, and
that they enjoy the personal struggle. I admire them for that.
As of right now they should be somewhere around camp 2 i think. They
are hoping to summit by the 21 of May. I have been keeping track of them on
their website---a documentary is actually being made about the expedition.
If you're interested in checking their progress you can go to their website
at www.armyoneverest.mod.uk
i was really happy to meet the two of them. It is a special experience
to be in the presence of people who proceed to such challenges without fear.
Anyway.
We realized how lucky we had been to catch a clear view of everest when
we rose the next morning. A snow storm had moved in and obscured the view
completely. Wouldn't it have been a bummer to come all that way and not get
to see the mountain? From Everest, we proceeded to Nam Tso, which is
Tibet's largest salt water lake. When we got there it was extremely cold.
Our 'hotel' was basically a tent made of sheets with six beds inside. Mr.
Complainer was not happy about that at all. For me, it seemed like a step
up from the trekking. We went to a nicer tent shack and had dinner and
realized that there were much warmer looking rooms there. Mr. Complainer
went off about that. Before i got my food i realized that the sun had come out, so i went outside to take photos. The opportunities were limitless.

Without the distraction of clouds an azure lake contrasted sharply by snow
covered peaks appeared within view. It was one of the most stark, desolate
and gorgeous things i have ever seen. There was an immense sense of space,
and the late afternoon sun was putting everything from goats to rocks to
water to people in an incredibly favorable light. i found an unattended
baby outside of a tent playing on a blanket and shadowed by a drying sheep
skin- perfect picture. Some of the nomads invited me into their tent and
gave me some yak butter tea (blagh). They had 3 or 4 kids and i was playing
with them and they were letting me take the most wonderful pictures. Mr. complainer even came out and started playing with the kids. He spun them around in circles and max and i
wondered if they'd ever felt the sensation of being dizzy before. They were
laughing hysterically and kept begging him to keep spinning them....but he
was out of breath. Those few hours of sunshine and space were definitely
one of the highlights of this trip.....night time was a different story.
Mr. Complainer decided that he didn't want to sleep in the tent after
all, so him and his wife took their things and headed towards the nicer tent
shack about 10 minutes walk away. At first i was annoyed with them, but
then i realized that we had 6 beds and about 12 blankets at our disposal. I
pushed 2 of the beds together and layered all of the blankets in the room
into a heaping pile of warmth. i was actually looking forward to that
night's sleep. I was all set to cozy up in my creation when the two came
back----the other hotel was closed. My heart sank. Mr. Complainer was full
of heavy sighs and complaints, and i almost cried because i had to dismantle
the bed and return to the static and cold of my solitary sleeping bag. Mr. Complainer and his wife got the comfy bed. To top things off there was a very
beautiful full moon hanging in the sky----great for visuals----bad for
audios. Every single dog (and one in particular) in the area was barking
non stop. For at least an hour......probably more....they would not cease
their barking. In a rage i got out of my warm cacoon, put on max's sandals
and went out into the night in hope of beating the dog to silence (sorry
karen). The culprit was a mid size black dog who was skiddish. I tried
throwing rocks at him and yelling but he would just get further outside of
reach and continue barking. I had to retire my efforts when i lost feeling
in my toes. Back at the tent we had a good laugh because max decided he was
going to market our experience. You know those nature cds that they sell at
target with titles like, "Celestial Moonlight" and "Peaceful Indian Flutes"
and crap like that? Max said he was gonna make one called "Sounds of
Tibet." Track 1: Incessant Dog Barks Track 2: "Hello, give me money." It
was funny.
Overall, i had a good time on the land cruiser expedition. Max and i
both agreed that we're glad we're doing this trip while we're young--it
hasn't exactly been luxurious. The scenery has been really pretty....there
have been times on the road where we haven't seen an inkling of civilization
for hours. We've crossed countless mountain passes and broad sweeps of
valley, yaks in fields and friendly locals that wave as we pass. We're now
back in Lhasa and we feel that we've gotten our fill of tibet. On thursday
we've booked tickets to Zhongdian in China. With about 9 days left we're
going to go into the Yunnan province, which is still mountainous, to hike
tiger leaping gorge. We'll be about a week in yunnan and then it's back to chengdu to fly home. If it's available i'll write of our adventures there
when we arrive. Until then, take care and thanks for reading.

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Photos

you say that hill's too steep to climb
....climbing. You say you'd like to see me try.....climbing.