I am trying to be more positive?

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I started teaching kids again Monday...it went really bad...I think they started school that day and then came to the training school in addition on the same day. They were out of control. One kid basically screamed and ran around the room for an hour. My boss sat in on two of the classes so I spent most of the time with my mind blocked by self-doubt...When you add that to the attitude I had been having you end up with Tuesday and the question, "Why did I come back here?"

Apologies to everyone who encountered me Tuesday and before, it was not good. I started planning my escape...leave China after this term, travel in Nepal, and then be in Chicago at a really good time...and then I remembered what makes the world go around...it's not happiness, it's money. Money is why I stayed in China. I need to take this year to save so I can do what I want. Money. I don't like this system, this game of success and promotions. I want to help people, it's hard to get paid to help people-it's hard to break even when helping people.

Anyyyyyway...my attitude has been changing though it's not been done by great efforts on my part. Classes have improved and college class starts up this week. I've been on a lot of walks with my coworker which has probably been a huge part of being happier. Basically things were terrible and I had a really hard time not being miserable but that dark shroud lifted. So that's good....peace and love people!

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