Gratitude

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There are no words to describe what has happened to me in the last 48 hours. Ive hit my highest high and yet felt my lowest low, all in the same day. My moment of clarity made everything connect, for a moment all my questions were answered, that feeling i will never forget. But with answers comes more questions. I am learning to balance my yin and yang. That roller coaster, that we call life, is a beautiful ride. Im so grateful for being here, it has opened my eyes and my heart to a higher meaning, a clearer purpose for why i am here. Ive been searching, for a way to change the world, for a way to be proud of who i am and what i am doing. Atop that mountain i looked deep inside myself, and i realized ive carried the answer with me all along. With everything that i have done, the bad, the ugly, the brave and the good, im perfectly balanced in the world. It is as simple as a smile, and as beautiful as a lone flower. The simplicity complexes my mind, and stretches my soul to every corner in the world. My awareness is growing, and i am far from perfect. But when that moment of true understanding happens, its blissful. I want to bottle it up and keep it forever, but it still slips from my hands in moments of stress and frustration, my mind and heart becomes blind, and selfish. Am i just trying to survive? Am i just trying to protect myself from what im scared to learn and understand? The fear holds me back from moving forward. What am i truly afraid of? Last night my classmate john asked me a very serious question.. Why do i want to be the hero? Why do i want to change the world? For me, there are no words to answer that question but there is a feeling, there is a deeper meaning, ive felt it before. I know i am here to change myself. China's culture, their way of life, feels so familiar, and i still know there is so much to learn. At the end of the day my gratitude explodes from my heart. I am open, and completely willing, no matter how hard or stressful things are or get, to grow, and change myself to better understand the world and most importantly, myself.




My heart goes out to the victims of the boston marathon bombing. Im proud of lisa (my moms cousin) for placing in the race and im so grateful she and my family were unharmed. my heart aches for the families who lost a loved one yesterday.




Tonight is my first night in Wuyi, the hospitality is amazing and the room im staying in is beautiful. After breakfast we get a tour of the campus and we are attending a lecture our other teacher Thuy is giving. he is the first evergreen teacher to do this and we are excited to build a relationship with the school and students. Im working hard on becoming more confident in speaking my chinese. Everyone is patient with my struggling pronunciation and im learning so much everyday. Practice practice practice.




We spent 25 hours on the train to get here.. But its so worth it!

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Photos

Egg man
Fresh egg delivery!

Louzi temple
Map of the temple. By far my favorite temple of xi'an

At peace
Hot day in heaven!

Fresh noodles
We stopped and ate at a hole in the wall, owned by a cute chinese family, the best noodles i have ever had!

Finished product
No one minds catering to my vegetarian needs, im so grateful! Ps a motorcycle drove through the restaurant when i was taking this picture, only in china..

Dollar bill
We gave them an american dollar and she was so over joyed! She had never seen one before. And im also pretty sure she has never had a room full of white people

Little boy
Cute little boy with butt chaps and his mom. Pam gave him a red licorice and he was so stoked!

Monk
My teacher hirsh and the monk we met at the bottom of louzi grave. He taught me how to pray for the first time

Louzi
Louzi on his ox. The myth is he rode away backwards laughing and thats the last time anyone "saw" him

Grave
Louzi cave

Pee pee
Literally a hole in the ground lol

My favorite spot
This is the spot where i had my moment if clarity.

Red ribbon
I poured my soul into that ribbon, then tied it to a pine tree

Joohee on the train
3 beds high.. What a ride

Yeee
The most enlightening train ride ever

Comments

[Sarah]

You are loved and missed. So great to hear about not only your travels, but what is going on inside your head. Hooping is not the same without you!

[Laura Churgin]

Can't say I miss those toilets, haha. On the bright side they give you the opportunity to achieve great balance and precision with your bathroom business. I love the picture of the red ribbon, it fits in so perfectly with what you wrote in this entry.

[Montana]

At Peace
Had that moment in the Hymalaians. Look forward to sharing stories. So happy and grateful for you. xo