engagement ceremony

---

I realize that 5 hours of sleep is not enough but this is far more than I have gotten in a week and I am feeling energized by this good fortune. We head out on the street to get breakfast and get some pork dumplings in a relatively clear, tasteless broth...well tasteless except for the cilantro which does make it interesting anyway. I didn't expect bagels and cream cheese anyway I guess.

So we head over to the hotel for the engagement ceremony which was to start at 11:30 and I really don't have too much to say about it. It was a bit cheesy but I guess this is the way they celebrate an engagement and I get to meet much of her family...save for her sister who didn't come from Beijing because her daughter was sick, her first uncle (who knows but Lisa says he is a bit crazy), her second uncle because he is in treatment for acute alcoholism, another uncle who is supervising construction on the Yanji (Yantgze for us old timers).

Seems pretty much like any family I have ever known including my own with its share of characters and drinkers. I don't understand why America seems so fascinating to them because I see it the other way...China has become the land of opportunity.

We must drink a toast with every family member starting with her grandmother, then her mother, then her aunts and uncles and cousins apparently in order and her grandmother had 8 children making this a daunting prospect.

Anyway, after the ceremony we eat a fabulous feast and there is a lot of wine and the hired emcee is the most drunk person of all and I kept wondering how it was that the hired help had the gumption to drink to excess. Unfortunately for me I am given something I truly recognize...sweet and sour pork. I had told people that I was certain that I would never eat sweet and sour anything in China and lo and behold, Lisa sneaks me a piece of pork and the flavor was unmistakable. The meal was excellent the sweet and sour pork notwithstanding with soft shelled crabs, fish, huge prawns, some Korean dishes and it just kept coming long after I laid my chopsticks down because I could not eat any more.

I have many pictures of this ceremony and the attendees so you can get an idea.

After this event I am pretty much reeling and between the food and wine, I would love to nap but the only option is the concrete known as a bed and I know that there is no rest there so I pass and we go to some marketplace to get Lisa's son a promised toy. They begin talking dinner and I am telling Lisa that they are out of their minds but there is no way to say no and even worse, Lisa is cooking some Korean dishes so I can't opt out of dinner. If you tell a Jewish mother that you are not hungry for dinner, she is taking your temperature to see if you are sick. Apparently if you tell a Chinese mother you are not hungry, it must mean it's time for Korean cooking. If I don't die soon, none of my clothes will fit to bury me.

---

Photos

breakfast
pork dumplings, clear broth, cilantro

Fifth aunt's son and his wife
Fifth aunt's son and his wife (who spoke the best English in her family). Fifth aunt lives in Yan Ji (far)

son of fifth aunt and his wife
her English was better than most

Wang Jian
I don't remember the name of the other person

Lisa's mother
She doesn't seem to photograph well because I was quite surprised how pretty she was when I met her

cheesemaster
I am quite sure that I wouldn't have liked him any better if I knew what he was saying

lighting the candles
the top center is a roman candle

too weird
Lisa said I should just put my hands together, close my eyes and thing about anything

this was the best part
you pour water into a glass system that has a bunch of tubes so the water travels down to each glass to the bottom glass. I have no idea what this signifies

Comments

[jen]

Whew!
Well dad...I just caught up on your entries. You sure are doing a lot! Judging from the amount of blogging you've been doing, I bet you see now how nice it is to get comments! Especially when you've been deprived of the English language. All that communicating in Chinese sounds exhausting! Well, that and the eating! Seriously! It's out of control. Hope you're enjoying it all...your blogs are fun to read. I'm sure you'll keep them coming. I found myself laughing at some of the pictures on this one. I don't know why...maybe because it's crazy that it's you in this scenario - China, engaged (or married? I can't understand all of these ceremonies)...and all while speaking Chinese. Kinda funny. Oh...nice hair by the way. Talk to you soon. Love, Jen

[white n az]

for clarity...
We are engaged, not married. The object will be to get a fiance visa and then once she gets the visa and comes to America, we would have 90 days to get married. The comments merely let me know who is reading. You are correct that I am having only limited amount of English communication because most of the time, Lisa is talking with Wang Jian or her family in Chinese and I only get very little snippets and not much translation. As she told me after Leshan, translating is very hard for her, especially once it gets beyond simple language of I/You/Me and onto things like scientific or historical things. Leshan was a perfect example because the guide would speak for maybe 20 minutes and I would get no translation. I was so exhausted by the climb, I didn't much care but the problem was that if you asked me a single question about what I saw there, my only answer would be a lot of Buddhist monastery buildings. I had no real context and if those buildings were built 10 years ago or 1000 years ago, I would not know. I get sufficient English conversation with Lisa and I don't require much anyway. So I'm not really missing any English communication but I did want to leave a significant blog in place. The hair...sort of creepy I think. I was very happy with my gray hair but you see almost no gray hair in China...everyone colors their hair if they have gray hair. They make fun of my big tummy but to tell you the truth, I have seen plenty of Chinese with big tummy's or just plain fat but I think percentage wise, it is pretty low. What is almost impossible to describe is driving at approximately 35 miles per hour and going through a red light without hesitation...that will cause any American to struggle to find the brakes with their foot. Unbelievable experience. Beijing to a great extent and the center of Chengdu to a lesser extent has a lot of police so the driving there is a bit more orderly but all of the other cities, not quite so. The biggest treat has been to be in so many people's 'houses' - they are always called a house by Lisa but they really are apartments/condo's.

[Griff Hearn]

bed
I'll bet when you sleep you dream about that cushy bed you bought at Costco. Here's an idea... sell them in China. You could be a hero and make a fortune!

[Ron Heberlee]

Amusing and fun to read
The ceremonies, you haven't the faintest of what is happening, so funny; the incredible amount of great food, Bud would love to be there eating for three hours like he does here at the Chinese buffets; The modern cities and businesses are a surprise; the greenery; the huge extended family and support; sounds like a book in the making to me.

[Nikki]

Happy Engagement?!
Hey Dad, I have been keeping up with your blogs really well, but haven't been able to add comments through my phone. I love reading about your adventures in China and can't believe that you have kept up so well with all of the activities. I will say, for a vacation is doesn't seem all that "relaxing"... I love looking at your pictures with Lisa, she is so adorable, and so is her son! I wanted to also tell you that we installed those tankless hot water heaters at Belmar. There are two on each building that serve 12 apartments, and I think it would be pretty cheap for you to install at home. They are very energy efficient as well. I hope that your trip is great for the remainder of it, and I can't wait to hear all about it when you get back. I love you!!

[white n az]

I have figured out some things about Chinese beds
and you couldn't sell a foam mattress in China if you tried. I have started a blog entry on houses/apartments in China including beds and I will get it up in the next day with some more pictures and thoughts. Basically they are all convinced that if you sleep on a soft mattress, that will cause them back aches and neck pains even though for example, Wang Jian constantly complains about neck pain. Lisa the same thing. She says she won't ever sleep on a soft mattress. They not only don't want to sleep on a soft mattress, they are utterly convinced that it will ruin them.

[white n az]

for all purposes...
Eating in China is essentially eating in a buffet because all meals are served family style...period. Everyone gets a small bowl and a pair of chopsticks and you just grab. I am still trying to get past the shock of being fed sweet and sour pork in China...I was convinced that it only existed in terrible American restaurants.

[white n az]

relaxation
When getting 6 hours of sleep in one night is a major victory, you can be sure that there is little relaxation going on for me. But I did some bed inspection and I have learned...

[Mandi Twining]

Blog
This was my first opportunity to read your blog and I have to say it's very entertaining! Lisa is so beautiful and her son is such a cutie! I saw the pics before I read your entries so I thought you were married already! Some of the girls in the office didn't recognize you with the dark hair. I hope you are able to have a ceremony in the States so that the Mullen gang can attend! We are all really happy for you! I'm glad you are enjoying your trip. I will spare you all the troubles we've had with the network while you've been gone, but I would like to know how you get around the error that has been plaguing us?We got it on Erin's computer this morning. Shoot me an email when you get a chance. She is working on a different computer until we hear from you. Thanks! Mandi