Tiffany goes to the dentist

On November 1st, I broke a tooth. And it didn't hurt at all!

Backstory (for those who need it): I am missing one of my front teeth. I wish I could tell an awesome story about it like how I saved a baby in a runaway stroller, got struck by lightening, or broke up a pub brawl, but the truth is I didn't lose a tooth. It was never there. My baby tooth fell out and there was no adult tooth to replace it. So when my other adult teeth came in they shifted into a very unattractive grin. After months of painful and expensive (thanks Mom and Dad) orthodontics, I was fitted with my very own grandma-esque dental accoutrement at the tender age of twelve. It was traumatic having a removable tooth at that age, especially when it would occasionally break at school. *sigh* But anyway....

Saturday, November 1st, I was minding my own business, walking down the street, and eating an ice cream cone. Please, hold your applause. Some might be shocked and amazed that I can do that much all at once. As I was enjoying my ice cream I bit into something strangely hard like a tooth. My heart fell into my stomach when I realized that it was a tooth. I had just had this partial made last June. My last one lasted for years before breaking. To say I was bummed is an understatement. Thankfully Cara knew of a dental office just next to her metro stop. My first thought was, "Oh, no! Tomorrow's Sunday! I'll have to wait until Monday to get this looked at!" Then I remembered it's China and Sunday is just another day of the week here.

Sunday morning I headed over to the dental office. It was pink. If Barbie was a dentist, this would be her office. I was so nervous. I knew the repair would be difficult, if not impossible and I was very worried about the language barrier. The people there were very nice and mercifully there is a dentist who speaks a fair amount of English. She told me what I expected, that the partial of unrepairable and that she would have to have a new one made. Crap! The one I just had made in the States cost me $600! So my first question was about the cost. Y650. Not too bad. That's about $100. She went on to explain that my partial was a poor design, especially since my teeth are small and close together. She said the base material had to be made thin and that is why my partial broke. (kinda of a 'duh' but moving on..) She showed me the design she had in mind and my spidey sense started tingling. The model she had was for all four front teeth. It was very denture-like. My current partial is a tooth attached to a roof plate with two metal 'clasps' that secure it to my back teeth. It looks like a retainer. It's a lot for one little tooth, but I like it. Most people never even notice that it's there. This thing the dentist was showing me was totally different. There was no roof plate, just fake gums front and back with the fake teeth stuck in them. For multiple teeth I could see where this type would work. But how on earth would it work for my one lonely tooth? She took a model of my mouth and made an appointment for me to see her on Friday, November 7th. The thought of going a whole week toothless before my inquisitive students made my stomach turn, so I did something that probably isn't smart and will probably give me some strange disorder when I'm older. I super-glued my old partial back together. I know, I know. Not a good thing to do. But who hasn't sacrificed for vanity? He who is blameless may cast the first stone. Also, my teeth tend to shift very quickly if I don't wear a 'place holder' every day. I was afraid of messing up my other teeth. But really I just didn't want to be toothless.

I went back last Friday. My dentist was happy to see me and excited about the new and improved partial. I laid back in the chair, she placed it in my mouth. It felt weird. It felt like it would fall out. My dentist made a face. Not a good one, either. She took it out, tried it on the model, then put it back in my mouth. Then she let me look at the monstrosity. I had a hard time stifling my laughter for the partial looked like something I had bought at a Halloween store. The fake gums came halfway down the surrounding real teeth and the false tooth was half as big and it ought to have been. "I think maybe it is not good," the Dentist, in all her wisdom, said. (Oh, ya think!?!) She took another model of my mouth, made another appointment for me (for today) and apologized all the way to the elevator. She also gave me some information about having a permanent implant put in. Yeah, they can't do a partial. Like I'm going to let them cut me open. Right.

I went back today without much hope, but thankful that my super-glued partial was working like a charm. Once again I laid back in the chair. She placed the partial in my mouth. I knew immediately that it was not right. This one wouldn't even stay in with my head reclined. I looked at it. It was a mess. And I know now that even if they ever do get it right, it's going to look stupid and fake and I'm not going to wear it. The dentist was livid. She apologized over and over again slowly in English then went into spasmodic Mandarin that I'm sure would make me blush if I could understand it. She took yet another model of my mouth, made an appointment for Monday, apologized some more, and (half to herself, half to me) vowed to call the 'factory' to discuss my particular case. I have a feeling someone got their ass chewed as soon as I left. I can't wait for Monday!

To be continued...

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