Nowism

"Nowism can be seen as the state of the objective occurring now, the next occurring now and so on."

Nowism is something they warned us about in training. In China, nowism means anything can change at any moment and it doesn't matter why or how or what you were told before now. China also has a habit of not informing me of anything that will be occurring in the future, even if it is known to others. Last week and even this week have been prime examples.

Normally the bell rings at 8:10 every morning and the children march outside for their morning exercises, which last about 15 to 20 minutes. I only have to march out with them on Mondays for the flag raising ceremony. Last week on Tuesday (10/22), as I was brushing my teeth, the bell rang at 8:00. Knowing that things always happen for a reason (even if the reason is stupid) I wondered what was going on. I waited until the students were outside before walking over to my office because I didn't want to say "hello" two hundred times in the hallway. When I got to the office Rosemary was there and I asked her if she knew why they went out early. She didn't, of course. We heard the normal 'exercise' music, then a new song played. And the new song played again. And again. And again. And again. The students were out there exercising for close to an hour; straight through first period. Now I definitely knew something was happening. Finally the students came marching back in and our contact teacher Tina appeared. We asked her to explain why the students were out there so long and we asked about the new song. "The song is our school song and the students are learning new exercises to go with it. The Education Bureau is evaluating our school. " Good enough for me. But about an hour later things got really confusing went downhill fairly quickly. Tina informed Rosemary and I that we were to teach science starting the next day and that we would be given textbooks to follow.

<In my head> WTF? Science? I don't know how to teach science! The kids barely understand me when I tell them to draw a picture. How are they going to understand photosynthesis!?! They didn't train us for this!

<What actually came out of my mouth> Oh, okay.

Thank goodness for Rosemary, who is almost but not quite my mother's age and isn't afraid of making anyone mad. She flat out said she already had lessons planned for the week and she'd work science in the following week. I was quick to agree. Later that day we got our science textbooks. With the exception of the chapter titles, it was all in Chinese! Rosemary and I rolled our eyes and shrugged our shoulders. I thought I could play 'stupid foreigner' until the whole thing blew over but they were very persistent about it. On Thursday, Rosemary and I were cornered at lunch by our vice principal, a very nice man whose English name is Charles, and a couple other teachers. Charles explained why it was that we had to teach science. I could tell it was difficult for him due to the whole 'saving face' aspect of the culture, but I think he knew Rosemary and I weren't going to comply without a valid reason. This was the reason we were given:

Each school is given a set number of slots for teachers of different subjects. Because this is a foreign language school we have many more Chinese English teachers than most and all of the 'English Teacher' slots were filled by them. So when the school requested two foreign teachers they told the bureau they (i.e. Rosemary and I) were science teachers. Ah! Now it started to make sense. The Bureau was evaluating the school and would wonder why two science teachers weren't teaching science. And they were coming to observe the school on the following Monday.

That night I emailed our fearless leader James to apprise him of the situation. By all accounts Rosemary and I were to be science teachers for the rest of the year and that wasn't flying with either of us. And it states in our contract that we were hired to be English teachers--a contract which the school signed. But I didn't want anyone, esp. Charles, to get into trouble so Friday I began teaching 'science' lessons. I titled the lesson 'Animals in Motion' (the first chapter in the fourth grade book), but really it was just a review of verbs. I was really irritated because I've been preparing the kids all month for Halloween and I knew they were expecting something fun. I would have been really disappointed if I was stuck doing plant cycles instead of 'trick or treat'.

In the midst of what I started calling 'the bureau investigation', two British teachers came from our sister school in England to set up a computer network between the schools and observe some of the policies and procedures the two schools had worked on the previous year. They arrived on Wednesday of last week. I was able to spend some time with them. During our 'nap time' break they were given keys to the spare room next door to mine. I knew the room would be dirty and not adequately stocked (with TP) so I invited them to hang out in my room. I don't normally take a nap anyway because once I'm in bed I usually don't want to get back out and I'm terrified of zonking out and missing an afternoon class. They were frustrated because their government had gone through considerable expense to send them to China and because of the bureau investigation they were being virtually ignored. I told them they needed to be very forceful about what they needed done or their trip might be a waste. Rosemary said she saw them finally getting some real work done on Friday.

So where are we now? Right, weekend break. It was nice and relaxing. I met Kim and Cara in Dongmen early Saturday morning for breakfast (McD's) so we could be ready when the shops open. If I haven't mentioned it before, Dongmen is a really neat shopping district where you can find stuff pretty cheap. You just have to be extra vigilant about your bags (lots of pick pockets) and avoid a certain club that rhymes with Bocolate that is run by a certain bafia group that rhymes with Briad. I got my very first massage that afternoon. Y25 or about $4 dollars for an hour long 'foot' massage that's really a full body massage. It felt great. It was that evening that some of the muscles in my back knotted up like a climbing rope. Maybe there was some breathing technique I missed out on or something. Anywho, Cara and I spent the night at Kim's watching movies and getting mauled by Kim's adorable saber-toothed kitten George. I was glad not to be at the school. They were frantically spiffying up the place and making a lot of noise doing it. Friday they were in a classroom just down the hall from my room drilling, hammering, and making all manner of noise until well after midnight. When I came home on Sunday things appeared to be ready and I was looking forward to a restful night. I went to bed at 10:30 only to be startled awake at 12:04am by the sound of drilling. I shot out of bed, through open my door and stuck my head into the hallway. I'm pretty sure I almost frightened a man right off a ladder. I suppose an angry white girl with bedhead and rumpled pj's would be enough to scare any Chinese man. But really? Do they need to drill a sign into the wall at midnight on a Sunday night ten feet away from my door?

Monday morning came. I was groggy and grumpy. I taught my sixth grade class as normal. I reviewed weather stuff since that seemed sciency. When I went to my 3rd period fourth grade class Charles was there and explained that he'd be teaching them science. So I spent the class feeling like a parrot as I was required to pronounce things from time to time, but that was it. As I was walking to my 4th period fourth grade class Betty, one of the Chinese English teachers, came running towards me saying to go back to the office and rest, that she'd be teaching my class. I asked if she wanted me there at all and she said something about a woman saying something important and I didn't need to be there. Yeah, I didn't know what that meant either except that I had an unexpected free period. Rosemary had a similar experience on Monday with her third grade classes.

After Monday everything seemed to go back to normal and everyone was breathing again. Today I asked if one of my other fourth grade classes needed to go down to the lab for a science lesson. Nope. Apparently now that the bureau has observed us we can go back to our normal lessons. They could have just said, 'Hey, can you teach a science lesson or two until after the bureau comes to observe us?' But no. They told us we were science teachers now and that's the way it was. Do you hear that noise? That's me banging my head against the wall.

Funny side note: Yesterday Cara, Kim, and I met at a metro station for dinner (there is a mall right there). Cara and I got there first and were trying to find each other. Cara called me and told me what exit she was standing at and I thought I was at the same exit. This is the gist of our conversation:

Cara: Which exit are you at?
Me: Near A and E
Cara: Me too
Me: Oh, wait, I think I know where you are. I'm walking there now.
Cara: I don't see you.
Me: I'm wearing a blue shirt and a brown skirt....(then quickly added after feeling like a dumbass)...and I'm white.
Cara: <laughter> I'm wearing a green shirt and jeans. And I'm also white.

What was I thinking! Like Cara needed the color of my shirt to pick me out of a crowd. Geez....

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