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Asia » China » Guangdong » Daliang
December 30th 2013
Published: December 30th 2013
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Deck the halls with bows of holly, fa la la la la, la la la la… So, December in Shunde has been upon us and the only hint that it was the festive season is a few fake Christmas trees standing half-heartedly outside shops and Christmas carols sang badly in Chinese being played in the supermarkets. Who can blame them though when Christianity isn’t their main religion. However, the Chinese children still know who Santa is, and like the idea of Christmas, even if they have no idea what the true meaning of it is! We have made it more like Christmas in our own house with the addition of a little (and I mean little) Christmas tree sitting pride of place next to the TV, and we’ve also bought a few traditional Chinese banners in red and gold (a sign of good luck and wealth) to hang on our walls and doors. When I was hanging the banner outside the front door, I had to ask one of the neighbours if I was putting it on the right way, and what ensued was them staring at the banner blankly for 5 minutes, then turning it to the blank side at the back to see it there were any instructions lol. In the end he pointed to where we should put it, but again, it’s another demonstration of not being able to get a straight answer here! It’s the first year we’ve not had an advent calendar (an alien concept here) so I got one of my classes to make one for us instead. It’s a shame though they keep trying to rip off every door at once as they don’t really understand what it’s for!

After speaking to our Chinese friends, we have seen and heard how Christmas really isn’t that big a deal here at all. No Christmas cards, no Christmas dinner and no day off on Christmas day. It’s just another day here, and children are lucky if they get a present at all. It’s strange that the rest of the world have at least one or two days off for Christmas and kids are spoiled rotten with thousands of presents, yet the kids still attend boarding school or evening classes and life goes on as normal here. They don’t even do any Christmas activities or crafts at school leading up to the day. Last week, I showed a few of my classes the Christmas dinner we have back home and they were all fascinated and said it looked amazing.

Thankfully our boss is making a special allowance for us and is giving us a day off on Christmas day. But that’s actually a rare treat for us as we are used to working it! We’ve been pondering what to get our teaching assistants as a present and have been a bit stuck as to what to get them. Almond cookies are popular, as is anything red or that contains even numbers. Odd numbers are a total no no, and also the number 4, as it sounds like the word for death. We’re also advised not to give clocks (sounds like funeral music apparently) and anything black or white, as these are also associated with death. So that narrows it down! In the end we decided on some sweets (who doesn’t like sweets?) as a token gesture

In the meantime we’ve been watching some Christmas movies to help get us in the spirit of things, and we’ve managed to work our way through Home Alone 1 & 2, Die Hard 1 & 2, National Lampoons Christmas vacation, Elf, Bad Santa and Muppets Christmas Carol. I must admit, we probably feel the most festive we have in years, even though we’re in a country that doesn’t even celebrate Christmas.

We had our school Christmas show last weekend and we performed a few routines we have been practicing with our students to show off to their parents (I’ve been singing jingle bells in my sleep for weeks now and if I never hear the song again it will be all too soon). The youngest kids did amazingly well, and they were loving ‘Scottish’ Santa- yep you’ve guessed it- Greg was the big man for the evening! I was really chuffed when one of my kid’s parents came over and told me their child loves me! (the child whisperer indeed eh?). The night started off with an amazing buffet of barbeque pork, roast duck, veggies, egg custard tarts and an egg roll filled with set milk (a local speciality). A bit different to the Christmas buffets of sausage rolls and cheese and pickles on sticks. And the bonus that no one was vomiting onto a plant pot at the end of the night.

It was our 10 year anniversary on the 21st December and I really can’t believe it’s been that long. I never would have thought 10 years ago that we’d be celebrating it in China!! What an amazing journey together and hope we have many more adventures ahead of us. We have both Gail Gilmour and Graeme Love to thank for our choice meeting in the Garage all those years ago. If it hadn’t been Love’s birthday, and if Gail hadn’t tried to stop me slobbering on (her then boyfriend) Gomez, we would never have locked eyes across the dance floor. As it was the Christmas party on our anniversary, we booked to go to a hotel on the 22nd instead (this time it actually had windows). So, happy anniversary to Greg- my little thrifty bunnet boy, best friend and soul mate. Ok, that’s enough of the mush and probably the one and only time you’ll ever get me to say such sentimental words!

On the weather front, it’s been getting increasingly cold here, and by cold I mean at least 15 degrees lol. No seriously, it’s actually been as cold as 9 degrees, and when it’s grey and dull it feels a lot colder than that. We’ve been having to get the joggys and jumpers on and buy a mini heater (feels like being back at Greg’s mum and dad’s again lol). It was actually the coldest day of the year yesterday, with the temperature only topping a chilly 7 degrees. And it was torrential rain too, so in a way we felt like we were just back home again! When it is a sunny day it feels warmer though, and we can get away with going out in t-shirts and shorts (just about) but we get some crazy looks - if we were stared at before then this takes it to a whole new level. I always find it bemusing how it’s the ugliest people with big donkey teeth who stare at us the most- I feel like telling them to look in the mirror. We’ve also been exploring the area again and have stumbled upon a little gem of a café in the heart of old China town. It’s owned by a lovely lady called Yoyo (yes, I know) and it’s only small but has real charm, and they do amazing coffee for a small price. So that’s our new haunt.

More observations about China



- They love a good squatting position at any opportunity.

- Velour tracksuits are the choice of rich women everywhere

- The people who live here think it’s not a very posh area, even though every other car is a Maserati, Ferrari or Porsche. Everything is a status symbol here: where you get your car washed, where you go to eat out (and what you eat), where you get your hair done and where you send your kids for extra tuition

- Unexpectedly, the air here is clean and fresh and we have lovely clear blue skies

- The produce here is SO fresh. We never buy our fruit and vegetables from the supermarket anymore when there is so much cheap and beautiful food in markets everywhere

- Sugar cane is delicious, purple potato is very tasty and chicken feet don’t taste anywhere near as bad as they look. But I will NEVER get used to the smell of durian!

- They don’t do manners (never please or thank you) BUT, they are really friendly and helpful

- You’ll never get ripped off with ‘tourist prices’. You pay the same as the locals do

- The smaller more rustic ‘restaurants’ are just as good, if not better, than the bigger and more fancy places. A monstrous meal for 2, including lots of beers is less than 10 quid!

- Every other shop is either a tea shop, spa or a hairdressers

- Eating noodles and rice is not the same without chopsticks

- There are stamps and paperwork for everything. If a document hasn’t been stamped, it obviously isn’t important. There’s actually dedicated stamp shops

- If you’re a man and it’s hot outside, it’s obligatory to turn your t-shirt into a crop top to cool off

- You’re not a local until you own a bike

- It’s part of the highway code that you must wear oven gloves on your hands and your jacket must be on backwards when riding a moped. Children must NOT wear a helmet under any circumstances

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