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Published: September 13th 2009
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The Wall In The Mist
We climbed 30 towers with a zipline at the bottom. Zipline in China...scary We learn many a lesson from the Chinese: how to burn masses amounts of coal, how to successfully work for 24 hours of the day constructing buildings in minimal amounts of time and interestingly enough how to barricade an area of 720 thousand square meters using only manpower. Answer - put a soldier every 10ft and make them look mean. Then put another row ten feet behind the first. I assume that if I wanted to take a runner to get past the front row, I would get beat down by the second row, and I’m fast and dodge quite well so I didn’t try. The Peoples Republic of China is turning 60 and the way to celebrate is to shut down the Forbidden City every weekend to practice rolling tens of tanks through it, and if that wasn't enough, guards stood at each of the nearby hutongs(historical side streets) in the case that people were impatient and trying to take a peek before the October 1st celebrations. This gave a somewhat eerie feeling to the night as an Irish lad and I went out for sweet and sour pork. The sense of Berlin following the war came to mind, could
I be out past 10pm? Or is my passport about to be checked. As we neared a guard taking a pee I thought…lets do it, lets sneak into the Forbidden City, but sweet and sour pork did sound mighty fine so we settled on that instead.
Beijing, formally known as Peking comes in at a solid 17 billion people strong. People are everywhere, not Chinese people, just ‘people’ as to include the country before the word is just pointless…Americans, how efficient we are. I spent my time in the city touring the countless sites and taking in my first Chinese city and what a city it is. Culture shock hits you like a slap in the face as you get off the plane. A Chinese girl told me there are 165 ways to write ‘love’ in Mandarin. I haggled her down to 50 as I thought that was just way too many. But the point stands, you do not have a clue as to where to go. So with my trusty compass in hand, yes, bringing a compass has been one of my greatest feats even though I make sure no people see my incompetence in navigation so
Guards
To run through or not to run through I tend to frequent many a dark alleyways before I bust it out. Iphone, how I miss you.
It would take years living in Beijing to ever frequent the masses amounts of temples, museums, Hutongs and other inspiring sites which prove that China is the center of the world. So with all the pressure of deciding what to frequent first piling up on my shoulders like a ton of coal bricks , I started strong…I ate a dog. Yes, some of you may not ever want to be in my presence again, some of you may call me Satan and other inhuman terms, however, just remember that I have never owned ‘mans best friend’ as a child, so that makes it ok(I think). Thoughts of Lassie and Scruffles(RIP) filled my head as I took my first and ultimately only hearty bite. Thankfully for all you doggies living out there, the taste was so horrendous that I will not be making any dog sandwiches to take to lunch in the future. So one animal down and I was on a roll. The dog was followed by a scorpion(crispy) and finally donkey(served cold for some reason, seriously, if I wanted
cold donkey, I would have asked for cold donkey). All this led up to the crem de la crem of…well….sheeps penis. As I eyed the penis the scream of “buy 1, I give 1 free” in broken English came from the attendant. Not good business I thought, why the hell would I need 2 penis(peni?) Did I eat it? No. Supposidly Calumb(Irish legend) saw a German devouring one. Germans…I should have expected it. More on Germans in future blogs, they interest me in so many ways.
I had to buy something fake in China instantly to fulfill my desires so I settled for a copy of the China LP, a pristene copy for half the price…solid. With guidebook in hand, I found out there was some wall I needed to see here so I hopped on the 630am bus to
THE GREAT WALL OF CHINA (it deserves capitals in so many ways). Note to self for the future - check weather before going to
THE GREAT WALL OF CHINA. As the rain poured, we plowed through streets of Beijing heading out one of man’s greatest treasures. Our driver drove on the right side of the road. Our driver
HAPPYNESS REACHED
Just look at that smile drove on the left side of the road. Our driver drove on the pavement, but as long as the horn was pressed down, it all seemed to be ok. A Dutch guy named Adrian said his drive was capped off by using a dog as a speed bump...I guess just treat it as a casulty of war and fry it up that night. The choice was made to head to an area of the wall less populated called Jingshanling and hike four kilometers to Simatai. This turned out to be phenominal. Even the rain let up after an hour as the misty wall stared us in the face. For years many poor Chinese had viewed the wall as a way to get free bricks for their own homes, practically dismantling sections of the wall until UNESCO stepped in. Many parts of the wall are still being fixed up today due to this and weather erosion. Regardless, the site is breathtaking and should be done by all.
THE GREAT WALL OF CHINA, seen from space(lie), seen by Tosha(not lie). As a sidenote, I fell off the wall. I would have made a poor Mongolian invader.
I admit, I suck at
haggling. I cannot fathom taking 15 minutes to argue over a $1, but when it comes to Ralph Lauren jackets, some people have it down. Almost an art I would say. When the first word came through the hostel that an English guy had haggled a jacket from 2250Y($330) down to 125Y($18), that is a nice wee 95%!d(MISSING)iscount. I had to find out more.
“Well, the woman did say that if I didn’t buy the jacket when she got down to 150Y, my whole family would die”…
ahhh I though, English in Beijing, you have to appreciate Chinese learning the lines which you know will pierce your heart. Yes, I want the jacket, but no, I would appreciate if my family didn’t die right now. So on and on do these stories would come about of either getting a great deal or being ripped off, usually the latter. Having to carry everything you buy on my back solved the problem of consumption quite efficiently for me, buy nothing unless I can put it in my mouth(but not sheeps penis).
The first six days of travel turned out to be better than I can ask for.
Statues to the Max
11 is the magic number as the most soverign building for the Emperor Story sharing into the night saw our group of Beijing travellers include a Swede, a Dutchman, two Americans, one Irishman and a Canadian. Joe, a quiet traveller from Chicago was in Beijing for a conference on excelerated physics(for all who watch news, they just created the first accelerator of crashing particles into one another in Switzerland). One of my personal highlights during a drunken taxi ride, I asked Joe to explain me in laymans terms of how I would go about crashing two nuetrons together to create black matter in my basement at home. I decided that two minutes was a good amount of time for him to explain it to me and threatened to kick him out of the cab if he failed. After thirty seconds of stumbling, he passed with flying colours. But I cannot write the answer here, for this blog will most likely be read by important Chinese government officials and I don't want to be ‘that guy’ who mistakingly screwed up by telling the Chinese how to make black matter.
Datong, a smaller city North West of here is the next destination. Overnight trains and more little successes lie ahead, such as asking where
Wall
Not a tourist in sight..perfect the toilet is in Mandarin. I haven’t squatted yet to take a shit, but my lord I cant wait!
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Ype
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Totally agree
Biking in Beijing is easy and great fun! God, loved that city. Cheers mate