CAMBODIA...Men ask women to marry...and are the ones who risk rejection


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December 5th 2013
Published: December 5th 2013
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CAMBODIA...Men ask women to marry...and are the ones who risk rejection.

I saw a pair of birds in a tree...rubbing beaks...sort of dancing around each other.

Saw another pair of birds...one looking keener than the other...one chasing...the other coy.

Couldn't help but think "Why doesn't he just ask her?'...but not speaking bird talk...maybe he had...or maybe he's not a he but a she.

Saw another pair of birds...decidedly frisky...mating...starting a family.

I hear they mate for life...bit like marriage...but who asks who?

Then I got to thinking.

How did it come about that in most human cultures...men ask women to marry???

*****



In ancient Cambodia there was a queen named Srei Ayuthyea.

Beautiful she was...no doubt about it...but no-one asked for her hand in marriage...intimidated by her Royal blood t'was said...no-one dared.

The other women in the Kingdom did not have this difficulty...just her.

Worried that she may never have an heir...she decided to choose who her husband be...and let it be known she did so.

Inspired by their Queen's example...the women in the Kingdom took to wooing the men.

But they soon discovered a downside.

Men started rejecting the advances of some women...instead of risking rejection...they chose when to do the rejecting.

The men never said "No" to the most charming of the Khmer women...but...those not as good looking...well...they found it hard to attract a husband.

So the not as good looking devised a plan...convinced their better looking sisters to defy the men in a bet.

The bet required men in one team...women in the other.

They would have one night to build a hill...the biggest when the first morning star appeared would be the winner.

The men will win this...the good looking women said...no chance we can win that.

OK...the others said.

If the women win...we will return to our old ways...and the men will woo the women.

No chance of that happening...no chance.

We will tell the men this is a battle of the sexes...and NOT tell them of our wager.

*****



Convinced of their superiority the men agreed.

The men & the women then started building.

*****



In the middle of the night the women lit a lantern...and raised it...on bamboo poles...high in the night sky.

Thinking they were seeing the morning star...the men laid down their tools with satisfied grins...and decided to have a well earned rest.

The women on the other hand...kept on working...kept on building their hill.

*****



The roosters crowed...greeting the stretches of pink light at dawn...greeting the morning star climbing the sky.

The men then woke up.

Saw the real morning star.

Saw the women's hill was higher than their's.

Saw the grins drain from their faces.

Expected humiliation.

Understood the women's treachery.

*****



Since that day in the Kingdom of Cambodia...men ask women to marry...and are the ones who risk rejection.

*****



As I paddled in the inland sea of Tongle Sap...floated among the trees in the Flooded Forest...among the stilted villages of the Mekong flood basin...danced among the stones and consuming tree roots of the ruined jungle temples of Beng Mealea...that the Khmer Rouge had land-mined in reckless disregard...shimmied with the warriors in the stone frescoes of Angkor Wat...completed my spiritual journey that had began in Borobudur in Java...and reflected on this magical land...this Kingdom of Cambodia.

And it was good.



Relax & Enjoy,

Completing part 5 of our Cambodian adventures,

Dancing Dave


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HEAVENLY TERMITESHEAVENLY TERMITES
HEAVENLY TERMITES

Yep...these fellas are venerated in this place
KAMPONG PHLUKKAMPONG PHLUK
KAMPONG PHLUK

It's Dry season...in Wet season the water level covers the stilts


5th December 2013
GUARDIAN

Borabador to Angor Wat!
What a fantastic journey through eons of time, temples and beautiful faces! Great photos of places of wonder--flooded forests and sad, beautiful Beng Mealea with its tumble-down temples and landmines. And as usual, you are the King of the Panoramas. Ciao Cambodia!
5th December 2013
GUARDIAN

Borobudur to Angkor Wat!
Beng Mealea was sad but beautiful Tara. Poignant as the Khmer Rouge kept no record where they placed the multitude of mines...photos of legless people we saw not for my blog. Sad that conservation seemed impossible...funds for such projects directed to the temples in Siem Reap (which are well spent). Beautiful to sit & climb among the stones and marvel how grand it once was. Cambodia was a wonderful friendly destination...we hope to return.
5th December 2013

Cambodia
Another great adventure.
5th December 2013

Cambodia
Thanks MJ. A dream fulfilled...Borobudur to Angkor Wat. And as usual the doing was so much better than my preconceptions.
6th December 2013

Men ask women to marry...and are the ones who risk rejection.
But what do women risk by accepting?
6th December 2013

But what do women risk by accepting?
Risk? Accept? Acquiese? Will they have nice kids? Dance to the same tune? Get on with the neighbours? Grow old together? How long is a piece of string Jason?
6th December 2013

Twice the distance from the middle to the end.
The answer which will help you answer your anthropological question of how it came about that in most human cultures...men ask women to marry???
6th December 2013

Twice the distance from the middle to the end.
Correct...which is why 7x8=42 is the answer to the ultimate question.
7th December 2013

Finally found your story David
It was fantastic to find your story (with your pics) and to see what you see in your travels. Regards Debbie
7th December 2013

Finally found your story David
Well done Debbie...Discovered my alter-ego...some know me as just a dancer!
10th December 2013

women's treachery
Women's treachery seems to be a common theme in history's legends when simply it is a case of out strategising to gain an advantageous outcome which men in general do with victorious applause...
11th December 2013

women's treachery
"Touche" several times me thinks..."take that" also comes to mind...nothing like us humble males being reminded of our place!!!
15th December 2013

A great conclusion...
...to your Cambodia adventure. I love your pieces that are filled with the culture, history and folklore. Love it!
15th December 2013

A great conclusion...
Thanks for commenting Per-Olof...nice to hear that various styles of blogs are liked by more than me. A nice way to conclude my blogs on Cambodia with a bit of culture.

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