A Learning Process...

I woke up this morning at 6 am, got breakfast, packed, and was picked up at 7:30. Yesterday I went to the 'Ministry of Tourism Office'. I booked the 'VIP Bus', supposedly the cheaper one, for 1300 Baht, about $42. I thought that seemed like a lot of money, but I was at the official Ministry of Tourism after all, so I coughed up the money. A van picked me up at my hotel, which was very nice because it was pouring rain. I thought the van would take us to the bus station, but it turned out the van itself was taking us to Cambodia. That seemed pretty easy, but was also boring because it was all Westerners, and they were all sleeping.

Driving on the highway right outside of Bangkok in the pouring rain, I counted a total of 8 cars in crashes on a 100 meter stretch of road. There was an elevated highway above the highway that we were on, and the water poured off of it in cascades down onto the highway that we were on! It was like driving through waterfalls - so so soooo dangerous. Good job with the engineering, Bangkok!

The van ride to Cambodia was at first completely uneventful. We stopped every hour for a pee break, which was really nice. I got samosas in one gas station, and puffed rice cakes held together with caramelized sugar from a street vendor at a roadside stand. So good. On our third stop, we were told that the people on the 'package tour' to Siem Reap were to get off of the van for an hour to be served food and drinks, and that the rest of us had to wait on the bus. One lady started flipping out. I thought waiting for an hour was a minor chafe, but not worth arguing over. It turned out though, that this lady lives in Cambodia, and was afraid that we were getting scammed. I asked her how much she paid for her ticket: $17. The Hungarian couple in the bus each paid $12. And I paid $42. FUCK. I asked her: "Are there fake Ministries of Tourism in Bangkok?" Her response: "There's fake everything in Bangkok". And here I thought I was doing the right thing. I now know to book longer bus trips through the hotel. A learning process......

Finally, the people on the 'package tour' got back on the bus. We drove another 5 minutes to the Thai-Cambodian border, at the town of Poipet. I stepped off the bus, and thought to myself: "holy shit this is real now". If landing in Bangkok was like an "oh wow, I'm here", this was like a "HOLY SHIT!". As a van group we were greeted by a man who asked if we all already had visas. I had read EVERYWHERE that I could get a visa at the border, but that the rules sometimes change. I was the only one on the van trip without a visa, and this Thai/Cambodian guy singled me out, convinced that I needed his 'hel'p'. He first tried to convince me to hand over my passport and 1300 baht ($42) to a random lady on a mo-ped, who he claimed would take it to the embassy to get me a visa. Yeah right. At this point I was really pissed from my expensive bus ride and possible (probable) scam in Bangkok - and was a dick to this guy. He tried to tell me that I couldn't go through the immigration line, but I hopped in it anyways. There was a sign that said "we no longer issue tourist visas at the border until further review of the immigration process". I thought to myself, "oh fuck", but went through the line anyways, with no problem. It turned out though that I hadn't gotten my actual visa yet, and needed to go to another office to pay for the visa. (I wouldn't have realized that had it not been for this Thai/Cambodian guy following me around, so for that I must thank him). However, he told me that I needed to pay 1000 Baht ($33), not the $20 you are supposed to pay. I told the guy off, but then talked to the guy working the desk, and he required 1000 Baht. Well, I had read in the Lonely Planet that they often round up the price to rip you off if you get the visa at the border, and this was the case. No choice - I paid the 1000 Baht.

Welcome to Poipet, the armpit of Cambodia. This is Cambodia's casino town where Thai government officials come to gamble. I don't know what I really expected. I figured it would be seedy, but I guess I thought it might have nice casinos. I at least figured it would have a bus station, considering all of the people coming through the town. Nothing of the sort. The main road in town was barely paved, the 'casinos' were little more than run down hotels, and there was no bus station. There were two buses parked, but neither of the bus drivers spoke english, and I don't think they were going to Battambang anyways. There were motos and tuk tuks, but motos (mo-peds) are ridiculously dangerous, especially so with a backpack. And I couldn't imagine how long a tuk tuk ride to Battambang would take if it's a 4 hour car ride. So, again, I'm left with little choice. I thought I had escaped my 'helper', but he found me again, and took me to a transportation office. I knew the car ride in a 'share taxi' should cost between $3 and $5, thanks to my trusty Lonely Planet. However Lonely Planet is good at telling you how mush you should pay, but not where to go. The transportation office asked for $25. No way! At this point, all I wanted to do was leave Poipet. I settled at $15 for a car that would take me straight to Battambang. I knew I was ripped off (at least I knew this time - see, I'm improving!), but my other options were trying to find another transportation office (no others appeared to exist), or spend the night in Poipet and get a bus the next morning. I chose the $15 'share taxi'.

Luckily, 5 minutes later a tazi shows up. I throw my big bag in the back, making sure to hold onto my little backpack (with important stuff). There's the driver in the front, with an 30 year old lady in the passenger seat, and a girl who looked like age 10 but I think was more like 18 sitting in between the driver and the passenger. Next to me was a boy probably 14, with a stopped up nose. The car didn't seem to crowded, but then we picked up some people, dropped off some others, and picked up more people (stilll within Poipet) until it was 7 of us in the car - 3 in front, 4 in back. No seatbelts, of course. I thought we were finally off to Battambang, but went forward 100 yards, and ran into a 'traffic jam'. Obviously there was construction going on because there were big pipes on the side of the road and some heavy equipment. We sat in the car for a little over 2 hours (seriously), and moved forward about 10 feet the entire time. However, when we finally did get to moving, there was nothing out of the ordinary that would cause such a traffic jam. Ridiculous.

As we exited town, I thought I was going to have to get out and puch the car as our wheels spun in the mud. Like I said, the road in town (yes, I'm still in Poipet) was BARELY paved. There was about three inches of mud on the road 9how does that happen?), and cars were CAKED. As soon as I get photos up you'll see. Well, finally we get out of town, and I am delighted to have left the place. About 10 miles down the road we hit one of the ten million potholes and the hub cap flies off. So, we have to turn around, pop it back on, and then get on our way again. Other than that, the car ride was pretty uneventful. They played the same tape over and over again, some sort of Khmer rock music. Heather, you would have loved it, but even to you, the same 4 songs (yes there were only 4 songs on the tape, I counted) would have gotten old on a 4 hour car ride. Oh, and we would make stops every once in a while to drop off one person, and pick up someone new. The maximum count was 8 people in the car at one point.

Finally, I arrive in Battambang, find my hotel, and get a room for $6 with no air conditioning and no windows. I am delighted. Anything is better than Poipet, and a $6 room is hard to beat. I explore town a bit, and head over to the "Smokin Pot" for dinner, which was written up in Lonely Planet. Well, it seemed to be all Westerners at the 'Smokin Pot', which I thought was a bad thing until a group of young people asked me if I wanted to join their table. I made friends! I had a WONDERFUL curry, and talked with three Irish men and an American girl about their adventures in SE Asia. They had their passports locked up in Laos because they refused to pay the $1 exit fee, and got arrested by Lao policemen when smoking weed, but tore free from the four policemen holding them, and managed to escape. Ridiculous group.

And they were Irish, so they loved to drink, and make fun of the American in the 'fraternity'. We were talking about 'muscle wines' at one point, which are supposedly like Red Bull meets Absinthe, and I mentioned that it would be fun to take it back to my frat at home. I never heard the end of it. At one point in our conversations one of the guys was singing a song, and he couldn't remember whom it was by. I told him it was the female british singer Natasha Beddingfield. The response I got was: "you aren't supposed to know female pop singers, only how to rape them. All you do is rape girls, frat boy". Haha okay it doesn't sound funny in writing, but it was hilarious.

And boy could this group drink. I didn't have much, but this group was drinking Mekong Whiskey and Coca Cola like water. We decided to check out the "Sky Bar"- it wasn't written up in my guide, but it was known by the locals. We took a tuk tuk to the "Sky Bar"- a gaudy place with neon lights, and learned there was no cover charge. Wonderful. Inside it was a legit nightclub, playing only Khmer music. Very cool. We were the only tourists, and it was PACKED. It was cool for the first two minutes. But then I realized that it was 90% guys, and these guys were stroking my back. Hmmmm. Everybody was SO SHORT too! I couldn't figure out if everybody was really young, Cambodians are really short, or if I was at a midget disco (okay that's not very pc, but I was a good foot and a half taller than everybody else). Well, after 15 minutes I was ready to leave, as was the rest of the gang. So, we went a few blocks over to a restaurant with a live band and dancing. One girl kept giving me looks, so I got her to dance with me hahah. She told me she loved me. Awwwww!

Well, by this time it was midnight, the restaurant was closing, and the rest of town was silent. We helped a Khmer man get onto a mo-ped to fo home - he couldn't stand up on his own. We then took a tuk tuk back to the guesthouse, surfing on the roof the way back. Teen Wolf style!

Well, that was my ridiculous adventure day of day 3. Tomorrow I get up early to learn to cook Khmer food at the "Smokin' Pot" restaurant. Should be fun!

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