Wishing You Auspiciousness

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November 9th 2012

Published: December 14th 2012

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Big, Gold and Shiny

The temple of Schwedagon Paya, with it's amazing golden Stupa

Burma, a country shut off from the outside world for decades. Filled with the most gentle and friendly people, yet ruled by a brutal military dictatorship for over sixty years. A country rich in natural resources, yet one of the poorest countries in South-East Asia. But now Burma is coming out of isolation and opening itself up to the world. Embracing technology and change, and hoping for economic progress, world recognition and a brighter future.

The question of whether to visit Burma has been hanging in the air for years. The Military Government has a history of serious human rights abuse including conscripting children as soldiers, kidnapping civilians for forced labour, and using prisoners as human landmine detectors. Back in 1996, the government looked at the tourist industries of neighbouring countries such as Thailand and decided they wanted a piece of the action. Thailand receives a staggering 19 million tourists per year, which generates a serious amount of money for the country. So the Burmese government threw their arms open in welcome, and launched a "Visit Burma" campaign in 1996. It was a disaster. The political party opposing the government was called the "National Democracy League", and they issued a

Local ladies selling unknown produce!

No idea what they were selling. Notice the traditional face painting of the girl on the left

counter-campaign which was effectively called "DON'T Visit Burma". On the grounds that all tourist money would be helping fund a corrupt government. This tourism boycott remained in place until 2010, when they retracted the statement and asked people to visit and experience Burma firsthand. But only as individual tourists rather than groups, and asking people not to spend money at government-affiliated places. So for many people, Burma has only become a realistic and ethical travel destination in the past two years.

Zena and I landed in Yangon, the capital of Burma, and immediately noticed something strange about the airport interior. It was brightly lit, sparking white and very spartan. There were no food vendors, no cash machines, no shops and no information counters. In fact, there was nothing apart from the basic infrastructure of escalators, toilets, a line of custom officers behind desks and a money exchange desk. It was very sterile, but also very efficient in terms of getting us out of the airport. Once outside the airport doors, the heat hit us, and the sights and sounds of a bustling city washed over us like a welcome wave. We had a nice taxi driver who spoke excellent

Fancy an arm-wrestle?

Giant praying mantis. Wonder if he's a Buddhist?

English, and whose first words were "thank you for visiting my country".

There were several things I noticed about Yangon during our taxi ride. Firstly, all the men were wearing their traditional clothes called "longhis", which are kind of like a skirt or sarong. There wasn't a single Western item of clothing in sight anywhere. No caps, no jeans, no Adidas tops or Nike trainers. The Burmese fashion was untainted by the commercial filth of the West. Hurrah! Most of the women had a white smear pasted across their cheeks, like a simple type of makeup. I later learnt this was the bark of a tree mixed with water to make a paste, and is used as sunblock as well as fashion.

As for traffic, I noticed a couple of strange things. Firstly, there were no motorbikes in Yangon. They are illegal for some reason. Secondly, the cars in Yangon all had right-handed steering, yet the drivers drive on the right-hand side of the road. This does not make logical sense for the drivers. The country used to drive on the left, but in 1970 it was decided to switch to the right hand side. The change happened

Zena enjoying a Frogspawn Cocktail

Looks like frogspawn, but the bits of jelly are actually lemon basil seeds, floating in a refreshing and delicious lemon juice

after midnight, and you can imagine the chaos! I bet people were swerving all over the place and causing accidents. It wouldn't only be the drivers who have to deal with this. As a pedestrian, you'd be accustomed to looking for traffic in one direction, and suddenly after midnight you'd be ambushed by cars coming the other way! There are several theories why this change happened. One story is that the ruling General had a vivid dream that his country should start driving on the other side. The other story is that the General consulted an astrologist, and he determined that Burma would be more prosperous if the change happened! What a load of complete tosh. But it wouldn't be the first time that astrology and numerology has played a part in Burma's infrastructure. The number 9 is considered to be very fortuitous, and the Burmese word for nine means "to seek protection from the Gods". So one of the Generals decided to release two new items of currency; the 90 Kyat note and the 45 Kyat note! (4 plus 5 equals 9). Completely bonkers. It wasn't long until they were taken out of circulation. But back to the switching

Spot the Buddha Competition

How many Buddhas are in this room?

of driving sides, it's more likely a protest against former British rule. We made the country drive on the left, so by switching sides it's one small move towards Burma's non-colonial identity.

After checking into a hotel, we set out to explore Yangon. As we walked along the busy streets, we noticed people making a kissing sound at us. This wasn't an amorous approach or a cheeky gesture, it was the Yangon way of getting your attention and saying "excuse me, can I get past." We walked through street markets where women had their wares spread out on the ground. Some women were selling fresh fruit or vegetables, others were selling fish laid out on blankets in the baking sun. One enterprising woman had fish submerged in a mountain of thick mud to keep them cool. When someone bought a fish, she'd grab a clump of mud and place it in a bag. Presumably the buyer would wash the mud off when they got home,to reveal a sparking fresh fish underneath. Some women had an array of ancient telephones on a table, which I thought were for sale. Then I realised the phones were hooked up to a building

It's clucking cramped in here

A chicken pops it's head out for a breather before being bought for someone's cooking pot

above with long wires running through the trees. They were actually running a "call centre" on the street! We also walked through the meat market which consisted of sweaty men in dirty vests chopping away at huge carcasses with meat cleavers. There was no refrigeration, and Zena spotted a few bushy tails which suggested that dog meat was being prepared.

Soon it was time for a spot of lunch. You may have noticed a slight tendency to ramble on about food in my blog. You'd think all I ever do is eat. Well, get prepared for some huge enthusiasm about Burmese food!! Burma shares it's borders with Thailand, China and India, and it's cuisine is influenced by each of those countries. As you move towards the Chinese border, the food gets progressively more Chinese, as you move towards India it gets more Indian etc. For a typical Burmese meal, there will be a row of pans laid out on display, containing a variety of meat and fish curries, plus stir fries and assorted vegetable dishes. You point to the dishes you want and sit down. These will be served with a standard accompaniment of rice, a hot and sour

Eat Your Greens

This is the medley of random green vegetables and leaves that accompanies every Burmese meal. Pick one up and dip in the spicy, sour and fishy sauce in the middle.

soup, a platter of blanched vegetables, and at least one spicy dip made from chillies, dried shrimps and garlic. Even if you just order one main dish you get this magnificent spread of side dishes. One dish worthy of a special mention is called "Laphet". It consists of fermented green tea leaves mixed with sesame seeds, fried peas, dried shrimp, fried garlic and peanuts. It looks like an unappetising slimy green mess, but is actually very tasty and also gives you a caffeine boost!

On a quick humorous side note, Zena told me about a store called Tip Top Tailors. Their sign said "We're open every day, except when we're closed"

Whilst in Yangon I treated myself to a haircut and my first ever cut-throat shave. I've always been a bit apprehensive about letting a stranger put a razor to my throat. It conjures up images of Jack the Ripper or Sweeney Todd the demon barber. But I took the plunge and my barber was a fabulous chap. He sat me in a rusty chair and put me at ease by teaching me Burmese whilst wielding various sharp implements around my head. I learnt to count to ten,

Lovely fresh meat

Who needs refrigeration anyway?

ask for water, and other useful things. I love the Burmese language. The word for hello is Mingalaba. Say it to yourself now: Ming-a-la-ba. It rolls off the tongue in a delightful manner. And it has a deeper meaning than a mere hello. It actually means "Wishing you auspiciousness". How lovely is that? To say Thank You is more complicated. Phoenetically, the full polite version is "chei-zu tin-bar-te". Zena got around this by saying "Jesus Zimbabwe" which sounds very close!

In the evening it was time for some temple action. Burma is a predominantly Buddhist country, and there are Buddhist temples everywhere. Lets get some temple terminology under our belts. Most temples have a structure called a "Stupa" as the focal point. It's a bell-shaped dome with a pointy bit at the top. The most prominent and striking of all Yangon's temples is called Schwedagon Paya. It has a massive Stupa which is covered in layers of gold from head to toe (not that temples have heads or toes, but you get the idea). Covering a temple in gold leaf is a common concept and is done as an offering to Lord Buddha. Poorer people might just add a

Food Paradise

There is no mirror here. This restaurant actually had over 40 dishes laid out for you to choose from

single gold leaf, which will be hammered onto the structure. Whereas richer people will add significantly larger amounts of gold. Some people get really carried away. One Burmese Queen added her own weight in gold to the temple, and her son added twice his own weight and that of his wife. Steady on!!!

Schwedagon Paya is visible from most parts of Yangon, and makes a spectacular sight at night when it's illuminated. A hundred spotlights are trained on it and the glowing gold is dazzling. Dozens of westerners were milling around, and you almost forget that the temple has a practical purpose as well as being a tourist sight. I was brought back to reality when I moved backwards to get that perfect photo and tripped over a local who was knelt down praying! Around the temple were dozens of Buddha statues, sitting on platforms or hiding in little alcoves. Many of them had psychedelic light patterns flashing behind them. All was missing was a smoke machine and a few strobe lights and you'd have a silent Buddha disco. Other ones had strings of neon draped over them. Not sure why they need to glamorise the statues in this

Local Phone Station

If you look at the left-hand side of the photo, you can see these ancient phones connected via cables to the house above!

way. I'm sure Lord Buddha wouldn't approve of being lit up like a Christmas tree.

On our second night we ate at a brightly-lit restaurant called Lion World. I don't know why, but the name Lion World made me chuckle. You'd half expect to see a cage of lions on display, or an exhibit of stuffed lions at the back. Burma doesn't even have any lions, only tigers. And there certainly weren't any in Lion World. But what they did have was a very entertaining menu. You could choose from delights such as fried ruffled venison, pork intestine salad and fish rolled cheese. Plus my personal favourite, hot chicken muscle. We asked about the hot chicken muscle and the waiter got really excited. "Yes, yes, hot chicken muscle!!" he said whilst practically bouncing on the spot. He couldn't tell us what it was, all he could say was "very good, very good, hot chicken muscle!" whilst practically trembling with excitement. So we decided to have the hot chicken muscle. It was chicken legs with the skin stripped off and the bone scraped down, and served in a supposedly hot sauce. Quite average really. So if you ever find yourself