T.I.A

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Overlanding is officially the best way to see and not see Africa all at the same time. 22 people, all white shoved on to a truck- it looks a bit like a bus/ coach but after all the digs in the arm for calling it a bus, it is a TRUCK.

Bleary eyed on morning one at 7am you sign your life away, email address is given for promo purposes, glance around and try and judge if the 20 people there you don’t know will 1 survive the trip- they don’t look like they can overland or 2 if you will get on with them.

Turns out, everyone survived and we did get on really well. Course there were a few odd ones but that what makes the group. So on the truck to drive for days and days to various campsites most of which could be anywhere as they are so remote but all of which have their charm. You stare out of the window at Africa, at the people at their houses, local shops but barely touch it from the safety as what we titled our mobile library (the truck does look a bit like a mobile library). Its like being in a zoo that takes you to various African locations for locals to stare. Day 1 lunch at the side of the road brought a group of Masaai children to observe Muzungu’s at feeding time.

You loose all sense of ability to function with out your guide (Mia) and the group. Withdraw enough money for X days, I recommend … and buy water for X days… go! So off you all trot to the supermarket and campsite doing some collective conversion maths to work out how much money you are withdrawing. I am at the top of my game for Kwacha to Dollar to GPB conversion currently.

We did experience some lovely supermarkets in big African cities across the 4 countries we visited. Shoprite in Arusha… lovely car park. Shoprite in Lilongwe- near a Nando’s hilarious considering what Malawi is like as a country- so minimal, and a Spar in Lusaka- very enjoyable brought some very non African waffles and some African Cider- Savanna (official cider beverage of the tour).

That said it is one of the most amazing trips of my life, Tanzania was amazing the Serengetti and Zanzibar were both incredible. Malawi is the most exquisite, basic and beautiful country and Zambia offered one of the best days of my life.

3 days in the Serengetti- getting there, passing literally Pride Rock, was like the set of the Lion King and game drive, night in a campsite that was invaded by Elephants at 10pm, lurking just by our tents, eating trees about 5m from mine and Alice’s tent, later lions near the water tank and you know just general animal activity as we were snuggled up for an early morning game drive. Up in the dark (this was to be a regular occurrence we later discovered) Morning game drive- leopards, breakfast, afternoon drive, Ngorongoro crater campsite. This definitely had the best view ever! So basic but served its purpose and provided Zebra as breakfast dining buddies.

In a car of 4 hilarities included the boys forgetting both money and water… step in our preparation of “maybe we should take extra money just incase” and this is how we gained our kids for the trip. Singing In the Jungle over and over to get us in the safari mood. Nearly dying at the hands of firstly an elephant when we got too close then our drivers attempt to clear a ditch whilst we were all stood up- “oh sorry I should have told you to hold on” as he sees us all in a collapsed heap on the floor of his car.

Seeing the big 5, being in touching distance of lions, having the best Safari truck was SO worth it.

Horribly long truck days to get to Zanzibar. Paradise, Stone Town had all the charm of the “Victorian tropical industrial style” architecture (as described by the Zanzibar Museum not just a made up type of design! The buildings all looked like they were close to falling down but that’s what made it so amazing and beautiful.

After a night in a bed- YES BED! We were off to the beach via the Spice tour got to learn all about new fruit and how spices were grown. FYI Pepper straight from the plant BURNS, vanilla is a vine and the custard apple may sound like the ideal fruit to make apple pies from that require no custard but this is not true, my business venture in the import trade of custard apples was quickly squashed.

The coast was amazing. Clear water, white sand… sea urchins and my swollen foot from a bad reaction to a bite received whilst on one of our many “bush wees” of the trip started the spak foot club! Snorkeling was incredible such beautiful fish, a tad sunburn-tastic but worth it. Even better were the 3 group members who went fishing and caught King Fish and Tuna which proved to be an EPIC dinner cooked by the restaurant next door. Best dinner ever and yes to all those wondering I ate fish and loved it.

More driving, less swollen foot, few stomach bugs, one feared malaria case (it wasn’t) and Malawi. Quickly became my favourite country of the trip, people live off the land and the lake. They don’t have a lot, it’s desolate but beautiful. The people are so passionate, talented and polite, the best African market experience to date. Just the idea of living off what you have, washing in the lake, fishing in the lake living off the land, enviable to enjoy such simplicity. Not as poor as I expected in that although the people live in huts and just hollowed out trees for boats they are not poor in terms of what they have from Malawi itself.

2 Nights further south down the lake at Kande beach. Torrential rain on the morning we got there and the 2nd morning but glorious sunshine in the afternoon. Hard to sit on the edge of the lake and not think of yourself by the sea (ignoring the debris of course). Early morning horse ride through the woods and on the beach near by, swimming with the horses across a river then un tacking them and riding bare back into the lake was incredible, best way to start the day.

Fancy dress night- buy the worst outfit for a given tour member you can for 500 Kwacha from a market- There were some AMAZING fancy dress outfits! Rum punch and huge drunkenness- horrible next day driving but a brilliant night for everyone and obvious huge hang over hilarity which lasted for the rest of the trip.
Was sad to leave Malawi, tent and bag full of sand though, was still emptying the edge of Lake Malawi out in our Jo’burg hostel.

Zambia was the one country I didn’t know much about overall, Zambian Kwacha about 4600 Z/Kw to the dollar proved a nightmare, just couldn’t get my head around the money at all! The last few days in Livingstone were amazing. Ant proofing the tent done on arrival, securing all food in the truck as to avoid a monkey tent raid/ attack and on to a video of the hideously over priced, often bad deals of the activities (half a day canoeing $95, full day $100), we settled on the Bungi combo. Next day there we all were ready to throw ourselves twice off a 111m high bridge, just round the corner from the falls. We started with a zip line from Zambia to Zimbabwe (takes us up to 14 countries but no stamp) then swing and bungi time. Best and scariest things ever! So unnatural to throw yourself off a platform and free fall for so far, even worse in the case of my bungi to fall off the platform, nothing you can do at the point where you are in free fall! Was all fine though and such a high bungi/ swinging through a rainbow being hit with the spray from the falls!

Then to the falls themselves, bikini’s on, questioning the tourists in full on Darth Vader-esque waterproof ponchos who all looked as wet as we did. Bitch slapped by mother nature is so true, being stood in the spray and mist of that falls in high water season was amazing. There was a bridge crossing where flip flops were nearly lost into the Zambizi and opening eyes was a huge effort. Quick rendition of TLC’s Waterfalls was called for by Alice and I then an ‘I’m one with nature moment’. Finally getting hugely close to the edge of the falls- no H & S here, after all T.I.A (this is Africa)!

Overlanding has been the most amazing thing, even if it wasn't always real Africa, travelling so far with such amazing people just made the last 3 weeks 😊

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