Wanted - 1 black rhino, any condition. Will swap for 2,793 photos of white rhinos.


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Africa » Swaziland » Ezulwini Valley
September 18th 2009
Published: November 24th 2009
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Mkhaya Game Reserve
With Mbabane offering nothing in the way of information or things to do, I decamp to the nearby Ezulwini Valley. The valley is home to the Swazi royal family and features a mountain that apparently inspired the "Sheba's Breasts" in Rider Haggard's "King Solomon's Mines". A further nod to Rider Haggard is in the fact that one of the nearby restaurants is called Quatermain's.

My days in Ezulwini see a climate shift from cold and cloudy to sunny and absolutely roasting - the latter is apparently more seasonal. Having heard about a hostel with a swimming pool in Mlilwane Wildlife Sanctuary, I head there for a few days (blogged separately). Within 24 hours of returning, it's cold and grey again.

The $1000+ I spent on safaris in East Africa sadly didn't qualify me for a black rhino sighting so I attempt to remedy that with a surgical strike - a 1 day safari to Mkhaya Game Reserve, where the chances of seeing a black rhino in the wild are supposedly the best in Africa. Swaziland has had some success with combating the poaching of rhinos (both the black and white species), with stiff prison terms (5 years for merely
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Legends Backpacker Lodge
possessing part of a dead rhino, 15 for killing one) backed up by an uncompromising extralegal attitude (one reserve employee mutters darkly that if you're found to have killed a rhino, you're unlikely to make it alive to trial).

Mkhaya has additional measures in place including not publishing its rhino numbers, as well as not allowing self-drive safaris (poachers can otherwise come into the reserve on a self-drive, find a rhino, send the GPS coordinates to accomplices in a helicopter, then the helicopter can come in, shoot the rhino and remove its horn). It's sad to think that all this money and effort is necessary simply because of the misplaced beliefs of people living far from Africa who have too much money and too little sense.

My map shows that Mkhaya is maybe 60km from the Ezulwini Valley and on a major road, but reaching it is made out to be an odyssey of Homeric proportions by everyone I speak to. Estimates include 3.5 hours (Mbabane Tourist Information) and "very difficult" (Legends Backpackers). Swaziland's main travel operator charges nearly $100 per person for the transport and wait time. Even the company that owns the park estimates it will
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Outside Mkhaya Game Reserve
take 2 hours from Manzini.

The entire journey clocks in at 1.5 hours, including a change of minibus in Manzini and waiting time for the next one to fill up, and costs ~$4. This second minibus shows, at 8AM and with many children on board, a film featuring naked breasts, gratuitous swearing, and simulated zombie sex. The Portuguese subtitles appear to be from an entirely different film. I'm so engrossed that the conductor has to repeatedly shout at me that I've reached my stop.

Of course all of the other safari customers arrive in their own vehicles, which perhaps explains why information about the public transport approach is so incorrect. Our guide is easily the best one I've had in Africa. He's highly knowledgeable, answering all questions as well as dispensing facts and stories as we go along. He spots game with unerring accuracy, and points out spoor of creatures that recently passed in the same direction. He's unfailingly upbeat, his permanent smile revealing a set of gnashers that are a natural wonder in themselves.

We have an entirely open vehicle for the safari, which is perfect for game-viewing (though the hot and sunny conditions are something
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Mkhaya Game Reserve
of a change from Ezulwini).

The park has quite a different feel to those I visited in East Africa, mainly because it's on a much smaller scale. There's a grand total of four leopards and just fifteen elephants, none of which we see. There are no lions, partly because Mkhaya is trying to boost numbers of endangered species such as roan antelope, and having lion around wouldn't help. New sightings for me include sable and roan antelope, and tsessebe (similar to a topi and one of the fastest antelopes). We also see warthog, zebra, giraffe, impala, waterbuck, hippo, crocodile, martial eagle, and plenty of white rhino.

The guide tells us that zebra can often be seen nodding their heads because they're being irritated by a bot fly, a small worm that lives in a cavity in their nose and feeds on mucus (I think ...) Apparently, if they're lucky, they can sneeze it out. He also says that elephant only like to graze when it's not windy, so that they can hear sounds from all directions. One other factoid he imparts is that none of the animals like the sound of the reserve's helicopter - since the helicopter
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Mkhaya Game Reserve
is being used today to track down some waterbuck to be moved to another park (as the population at Mkhaya is too large), that may explain why we strike out on some of the park's inhabitants.

We take lunch at a camp inside the reserve, with a resident flock of crested guinea fowl that strut around clucking softly, their beady eyes on the look-out for any falling crumbs. The camp manager comes perilously close to death by saying he often has black rhinos sleeping outside his hut.

The afternoon game drive is predominantly a search for elephant and black rhino, and it's especially disappointing to draw a blank on the latter. The guide says he only sees one a week anyway, so it's not as if I've been unlucky. But it's another $70 gone on safaris and I wonder if it mightn't be better to cut my losses and simply find an appropriate zoo.

I catch a lift back to Ezulwini with three of the group and am intrigued by the audiovisual GPS in their Mercedes. Sadly, it can't plot a path to the nearest black rhino but it does make me realise that having your own
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Mkhaya Game Reserve
vehicle is the only way to really "do" Swaziland.

After the rather underwhelming state of Legends, I decide to try a different hostel on my return from Mlilwane, based on a recommendation from a couple I met in Mkhaya. Its location is a little far from anywhere for easy walking but, even with no other visitors, it's a much better atmosphere, with the Spanish owner full of enthusiasm for the country. He even tells me about some traditional ceremonies coming up soon, which none of my previous Swaziland hostels had mentioned. Further positive energy is provided by the younger of the two dogs in residence, which can't stop licking my legs.

The English language Swazi newspapers provide some disturbing insights into Swazi culture. The chairman of the Swazi National Council of Arts and Culture says that "We need to see our local artists grow and become our own Michael Jacksons, Luther Vandross, and Westlifes." What is this unhealthy obsession with Westlife in southern Africa? And in the same sentence as Michael Jackson? An attempt to ban trousers for female civil servants is attacked with the argument that "Nowadays designers make decent pants for females", as though this was
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Mkhaya Game Reserve
a recent innovation. I see an advert offering Polish Stripper for R150 but it turns out to be for a cleaning chemical company. Nicknames seem popular among local footballers but I find no explanation for how one called Cheeseboy acquired his moniker.

However there's also rabid Christianity to go with virulent homophobia. A long letter containing questionable and distorted facts about homosexuals is printed in full in one paper, clearly with zero checking on the part of the editors. I do find this holier-than-thou attitude irritating (and not just in Swaziland), when the high rates of extra-marital sex, pre-marital sex, and protectionless sex should surely receive more opprobrium.

I see plenty of expensive cars in the car park at The Gables and I read that the average income is about $5,000 per year, much more than most countries I've visited on this trip. However this masks the fact that 70% of the Swazi population lives below the poverty line. An elite based around the king and the royal family maintains a tight grip on power via a system of patronage that rewards a chosen few. There is no competition in several key industries with predictable results, e.g. slow
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Mkhaya Game Reserve
and expensive Internet. I visit four Post Offices before I can send a small parcel off to England - the first only sells stamps, the second has an appointed parcel person who (on the day I visit) is only due to show up mid-afternoon, the third has no set of scales for weighing anything, and the fourth charges me roughly a tenth of what I paid in Mozambique for a package weighing 50%!m(MISSING)ore - I'm not 100%!s(MISSING)ure it will arrive. Whatever the injustices and quirks of Swazi society, though, its people are some of the most friendly and helpful I've encountered in Africa.

Dull but possibly useful info
i. A kombi from Mbabane bus station to The Gables shopping centre in Ezulwini cost R7 and took 15 minutes. There are many through the day.
ii. I stayed first at Legends Backpackers, a 10 minute walk behind The Gables. I paid R180 for a private room (with shared bathroom). The bathrooms are a weird design - two shower cubicles and a toilet in open plan, and no door lock. The kitchen has an electric hob and the pot/pan selection is limited. The free broadband internet advertised wasn't working
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Mkhaya Game Reserve
and there didn't seem to be much impetus to fix it. Overall I got the impression the place had seen better days.
iii. There's Internet at The Gables, but it's dear (R40 per hour) and slow.
iv. Almost everything closes on Sunday in Ezulwini in The Gables except the supermarket and the restaurants.
v. Note that there's a secondary Reed Ceremony that takes place in Nhlangano (?) two weeks after the first one, however it gets little publicity.
vi. The cost of the day safari to Mkhaya Game Reserve is R475 (=~$60) - you have to book in advance either by phone or at the Big Game Parks office in The Gables shopping centre in Ezulwini. They prefer credit card bookings (to prevent no-shows) but, if you sound/look sincere, they'll let you pay cash (you pay at the park). You have to be at the pick-up point in Phuzamoya by 10AM and you'll be dropped off again there at about 4PM. The day includes a morning game drive, a buffet lunch, and an afternoon game drive - you get a 500 ml bottle of water for free. The vehicle is entirely open so you'll need a hat, sunscreen, etc. They
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Mkhaya Game Reserve
need a minimum of 2 people to run the tour, but as long as another group has already booked then you can tag along with them.
vii. I used public transport to get to Phuzamoya from Ezulwini. There are umpteen minibuses (called kombis) on the main road through Ezulwini that are going to Manzini - it takes about 20 minutes and costs R12. In Manzini, touts will direct you to a minibus to Phuzamoya (which is on the road to Big Bend). I waited 20 minutes for mine to fill up. The journey took 50 minutes and cost R20. I would guess there are plenty of such minibuses each day.
viii. You'll probably be able to get a lift back to Ezulwini from one ofthe other safari customers, as most seem to come by private car from Ezulwini. Failing that, I was told that minibuses to Manzini go through Phuzamoya up until nightfall. Plus hitching is possible.
ix. I would NOT recommend using the tour company Swazi Trails as, for the Mkhaya day safari at least, they seem to be engaging in price-gouging of the worst kind. They charge R1250 - since 475 of that is the safari cost, the
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Mkhaya Game Reserve
remaining 775 (i.e. $100) will be for an hour of driving to get there, 6 hours of wait time for the driver, then an hour to get back. Per passenger. Compare that with the roughly $8 it costs on public transport for only slightly more effort and time (and, as mentioned, you'll probably be able to get a lift back for free, meaning your transport costs will only be about $4). Given the cost of petrol and labour in Swaziland, I would guess Swazi Trails is making of profit of 90% on the first passenger plus 100% on all subsequent ones. This is probably the worst potential rip-off I've encountered yet in Africa. I found out later that the owners of Swazi Trails also own Legends.
x. The second time I was in Ezulwini, I stayed at Southern Cross Lodge. It's run by a Spanish couple - the husband, Jesus, is extremely welcoming and helpful (his wife was away). His goal is to help people enjoy their time in Swaziland rather than force money-making tours on them. I paid R180 for a room with a towel and shared facilities - the bedroom/bathroom/kitchen were all spotless. There's a large garden and a swimming pool. The toilet contained some strawberries and cream air freshener that I repeatedly squirted even when there was no need to, as it smelled so good. There's no Internet access but all Swazi Internet is expensive and slow so Jesus made the wise decision not to install it, as it would be bound to cause people to blame the hostel rather than the infrastructure. The only downer (if you don't have your own vehicle) is that the lodge is 1km from the main road through the valley and a further 2km from The Gables. However, once on the main road, it's only R4 in a (frequent) kombi to The Gables.
xi. It cost me a mere R24.6 to send 1.3kg of stuff to England by surface mail. This was at letter rates rather than parcel ones so it remains to be seen if it will arrive (unmolested by customs).
xii. The Standard Bank ATM at The Gables accepts Mastercard ATM cards.


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26th November 2009

Hey
That is a very interesting blog; must put it on my places to visit. I've seen rhinos in Masai mara and since I am from India, they are common in many national parks here.

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