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Published: August 29th 2010
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sexy Theo
check that white ass Giant steps are what we take, but we still move very slowly. We’ve finally left Cape Town, headed for the Warm Bokkekveld (pronounced wwggarrrm bokkggeveiltdt) and 4 days later it really is like being on the moon out here.
We’ve taken the R355, a 250 km dirt road from Ceres to Calvinia. It was chilly the first leg of our scenic route as we left the snow covered Matroosberg mountains behind us but the view of miles and miles of fynbos and plenty of birdlife kept us occupied as we flipped through our bird book, marking off sightings just like real twitters.
Then we went through Die Poort, the doorway to the Karoo and life on the Warm Bokkeveld got sparser and warmer. Then on the morning of Theo’s 50th birthday (we spent 4 days doing the 250 km to soak up as much of the karoo fever as possible and drink lots of wine followed by boisterous bonking in pre-celebrations and ran around naked, giddy from all the pollution free space while waiting for the big yellow full moon to rise) we came across a sign which said Biker friendly - Cold beers. We camped at a cool
rest stop
overnight in the Karoo picnic spot down the drag and spent the afternoon drinking beer at Sol Themba guest farm with owners Bill, Sue and Marcel. We left with a bag of fresh farm lemons and gave them a CD copy of how to build a still. We had a fantastic time with them exchanging recipes and tasted their olives and kweper jelly. They were hoping for rain since they only had 40mm of their annual anticipated 80mm. Their whole yearly rainfall was what we got in one afternoon last year when we were at Volksrust. Hectic.
At sunset we jumped on the bike and rode up to the top of the gorge to watch the full moon rise over the whole entire flat expanse of land which spread out for hundreds and hundreds of miles under us.
Next day things got even sparser. No more odd looking Botterbome, Melkbos plants or even a single fynbos. In fact it’s hard to believe that any living thing can survive out here. There’s absolutely nothing besides rocks, rocky mountains and black sunburnt stones. It’s awesome. We saw 3 cars today and that’s probably only because we found out that it’s the Vleisfees at Calvinia this
coming weekend. How perfect is our timing. Theo can get a sheep’s head or maybe peertjies for his birthday.
.
I was hoping to find the Hoodia plant but now after googling I’m more interested in finding a plant which the Dutch settlers called Kougoed. The plant apparently grows in the karoo and you are supposed to ferment it for 7 days then dry it in the sun and then take a few milligrams to make you feel good and love life without any side effects. If you ask me that’s why the Dutch came over here in the first place. I can just imagine letters written by Jan Van Riebeeck to his friends back home.
Julle moeten almal so gou as moontlik op die eerstere skeepen watte vaart na die Kaap klimen. Die land is vollop met alle soorten van God se plante wat vir jou op ‘n wonderlikke trippie kan sitten en nog meeren. Dis die dwelm speelgrond van die helen werelden. Vergeete van die hashish inne die Amsterdam. Hier is medisyne vir alle pyne en kwale wat groei hierso in myne agterplaas en op alle die lande en dit bin gratis vir almal. Bring net
Farming Karoo Style
Stone growing abundantly mandtjies volle kralletjies en blink gootjies en skulpies sodat julle mette die kleine bruinen mense vir hulle dagga saadtjies kan ruilen. Ekke het groote planne om besigheid mette alle skeepe met myne Dutch Remedia te begin.
Met die seeninge van myne ewe God.
Jannie
P.S Die mampoer bedryf hierso het ook groote geleenthede.
Translated it means - Hey dudes (where’s my ox wagon) get your butts over here asap - there’s free weed and enough drugs in the Cape to keep everyone permanently stoned and turn us all into millionaires if we bottle the stuff and sell it to the Frenchies when they pick up their post. Bartering with the Khoi for good strands of homegrown might work, or we could just shoot them.
May the forces be with you and all kaaskope.
P.S. The moonshine here is kickarse.
In all honesty, what the heck were the Dutchies doing chewing this Kougoed stuff in the first place? I mean, was it Stefanus Cornellus Willemse who upon a visit to Susana Petronella Willamiena on his white horse decided to stop off at a Khoi family for a dose of Kougoed to make sure she swooned at his feet? Was it Oom
In Fields Of Green
planted fields waiting to be harvested Sarel Pieter Johannes who got so close to his Hottentot slaves that they smoked a fat dagga joint while fixing his rimpie chair and showed him where the Kougoed stuff grows? Did some 16 year old dutch boy have a hang up about sticking his finger in odd places like dam walls and start a trend of dutch gangsters drowning their sorrows by chewing the stuff. Did teenagers rebel and eat Hoodia in fits of anorectic moments coz they felt like an old maid at the age of 18? What kind of stress made them wanna trip out? Maybe it was the British and all their la de da I’m more pompous than you coz I have a queen that finally made them reach for the stuff.
I’ll never know, but meanwhile, until I can find someone to show me exactly where this Kougoed, Latin name being Sceletium tortousum, actually grows, I’ll be hanging around the Karoo for a while longer. In the meantime tomorrow we’re off to the dorp to mingle with the locals and eat some sheep intestines at the Vleisfees. Mind you, that oomie with the beard down to his stomach, who drove his tractor past
us today looked like he might put more than tobacco in his pipe. Perhaps I can quiz a few people tapping their feet to the beat of Klipwerf Orkes as to the whereabouts of the elusive plant. Let’s see what tomorrow brings.
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charlene
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my friends...
So proud of you - cant all be easy going as you say but yes, no better couple to be doing this love you and keep writing, you always have me in stitches happy journeys Cxxxxxxxxx