South Africa #6, Kruger Park

In Kruger Park no one walks but the animals. It’s Disney without animatronics. Live wart hogs, hippos, ostrich, gnu, crocs, giraffe, buffalo, and elephants roam and die freely while we watch from the unairconditioned car.
The Great White Hunter and his present Native Companion stalked the African veldt in search of the extremely large, dangerous, herbivore, Africanustuskaroarusgrayuselephantitus. GWH using his vast knowledge, experience, keen eyesight, and the fact a rear roar exploded in the bushes spotted a gray tail erect from a big gray butt. GWH gave NC the universally recognized signal to stop, freeze, and hush-up - hand up, palm out, double fist clinched, single finger vertical to lips (finger next to thumb - not middle - that’s a totally different signal). Too late as the 40 ton or there abouts, enraged bull wheeled and gave the enraged bull signal - trunk erect, fiery eyes, ears flapping, and saliva shooting. GWH stood his ground as NC panicked, wet herself, screamed, and fled. The two bulls faced each other waiting for the other to panic, pee, scream, and flee. GWH had only his courage for a shield and a lunch toothpick for a weapon. The confrontation ended as quickly as it began as GWH slammed the white Corsa Lite in reverse, gunned the engine, peed himself, screamed, and backed up at 50 kph the speed limit in Kruger Park. This is a nearly true story that we have movies to corroborate/verify/show it is nearly true. After word spread of the daring, courage, and foolhardiness of GWH and NC with the elephant incident (now a legend), we were chosen to lead the Satara night drive to ferret out the more elusive nocturnal creatures. A drastic change from our usual night time activities, cavorting, and high jinks, NC and I tried to reassure the nervous newbies that we had not yet lost a pale participant from our expeditions this being our first. Our African black driver, Milingwi, which in English means “African Black Driver” steered the 4 wheel drive converted army truck into the wilds of the African bush. NC sat front seat left while I, GWH, sat front seat right directly behind Milingwi to guide/direct/annoy him. Under my expert guidance, and the use of 8 - 1million watt spotlights, we located and photographed 2 cape buffalo, 1 hyena, 2 owls, hundreds of impala, 1 genet, 1 bushbuck, 1 serval, 5 rhinos, 1 wildebeast, 1 rabbit, 1 male lion, 3 females, 3 cubs, and a partridge in a pear tree. With the gratitude and tips from the pale participants NC and I will be able to continue our trek where “no man has gone before”. A side note: two tips sucked - the 1 Zimbabwe dollar, and “Don’t ever attempt to lead another night drive.”
Last night we stayed at Lower Sabie which mean "smells like pee and feces." Some of you may realize our standards for accommodations are almost non-existent. But they stepped over the line. I was writing some of this drivel on the outside table when bats started whizzing past my head from under the roof. Our room smelled like an outhouse. The next morning bat crap lay all over the floor and table I had been writing on the night before - YUK. Today we actually had a young elephant charge us, and we saw a hippo within a few feet - all on video. Tomorrow we head out of Kruger to Shaka Zulu territory and Swaziland. Hope all is well. Don/GWH and Lee/NC. More travel adventures await at Amazon Books where you can find Four Keys Overseas.

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