A Moment of Truth.

I have never found writing a Blog so difficult. The up and down emotions that accompany this experience make it extremely challenging in trying to determine how I truly feel and what I honestly think. So many people have already asked me about what I have learned so far, and after a lot of thought I have come realize that I will not be able to answer that question properly for quite some time, perhaps not until long after I have returned home. Many of you may have noticed my sarcasm, critical sounding jokes and comments, as well as my emotional highs and lows of this journey, but what is impossible for me to accurately explain, is why I feel the way I do, without taking some time to step back and reflect.

This afternoon I met a group of individuals that had been brought from the surrounding villages as part of UNICEF’s ‘Child Survivor’ program. ‘Child Survivor’ tries to reach some of the most poverty stricken areas in the country and bring the worst cases to Makeni for medical attention. Once again I saw families with children that were so malnourished that their bodies were visibly falling apart. Imagine having a child whose body is covered head to toe in scabs and open sores because she simply does not have the nutrients in her body for it to repair the smallest of scraps and bruises. A little 6 month old baby whose arms are the size of rulers because his mother cannot produce the milk necessary to help his bones form and grow. These children are fading away because their families and their country cannot provide for them and protect them. In a country that is overflowing with natural resources and physical beauty, it is incomprehensible that things like this happen as often as they do. Years of war and corruption have resulted in a very difficult and complex situation.

When I return to Freetown and sit in on week long meetings with representatives from different organizations as well as representatives from the government my perspective changes. Sometimes it is positive and sometimes not. Looking back now, I understand why I may have felt a bit cynical and perhaps critical of the way things are done (or not done). Do I think people are not trying?... absolutely not. Do I think I could do a better job?...absolutely not. Do I think that anyone should remain satisfied with the way things are being done?...absolutely not! Changes and improvements are made everyday and need to continue.

In these moments things may not be expressed as tactfully or as politically correct as perhaps they should be, however, it is difficult to help emotion from creeping in when writing about these things…even if it does sound a bit ‘cheeky.’ I would never disrespect the people in this country, especially those who are working hard to improve things.

I want to apologize if my last blog entry had a ‘holier-then-thou’ tone. My writing is only a way of expressing the internal frustration I feel for the things that just should not be.

Blessings.

---

---