Only Turning

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It was Miles and Sally's turn to host a BBQ in the compound. Around 6am, there was a knock at the door. It was Samuel with two goats on a string.

Which goat are you liking to eat, sah?
Samuel, I told you I did not want to see the goat.
Who will then say which goat, sah?
You will say Samuel. You say.

Miles slammed the door as Sally came downstairs.

Who is at the door?
Nothing! barked Miles.

Sally furrowed her brow and opened the door.

Meh, meh said the goats.
Oooooh! They are sooooo cute! But then her brain started to work and she realized she was looking at her dinner You said that...
I told him not to... Sally slammed the door.

That afternoon Miles strolled across the compound to have a Guinness with Dave. Dave showed Miles his new car, exactly the same Peugeot 504 that everyone else drove but with thicker carpets. They talked about carpets.

Miles strolled to the clubhouse where the BBQ would be held. Samuel was in charge. The dead goat was on a very squeaky spit, hand-cranked by a random houseboy. Tables and chairs were scattered around, coolboxes of beers overbrimmed.

Everything OK, Samuel?
Squeak Squeak Squeak
Ah yes, sah! Everything is very A-OK! Very good.
Squeak Squeak Squeak
We have enough ice?
Squeak Squeak Squeak
Yes sah, plenty ice. Plenty beer.
Squeak Squeak Squeak
And how is the goat doing? Cooking nicely?
Squeak Squeak Squeak
No sah. Not cooking, only turning.
Not cooking? Only turning?
Squeak Squeak Squeak
Yes sah. Charcoal done finish up.
What exactly did you mean by 'A-OK' Samuel? How can everything be A-OK with nothing cooking?
No money for charcoal, sah!
Squeak Squeak Squeak
How much money do you need?
I do not know, sah. Charcoal is for women.
Has a woman gone for charcoal?
No sah, no money, no woman.

Miles's car had been dispatched to pick up guests, so he went back to Dave's. Dave tried to send his driver, Thomas, for charcoal.

I cannot sir. I do not where is charcoal.
Are you mad? There are mountains of charcoal on sale on Airport Road! We drive past it every day.
I do not know sir. Charcoal is for women. I do not know charcoal, sah.

Dave insisted and Thomas drove off to Airport Road. Miles returned home and took a shower. The bathroom was directly over his front door with a high frosted window. As he was showering, a car drew up. The doors slammed and Dave shouted,

Where do you want me to take this?
We don't want it in the bloody house, do we? Take it to the club!

But Miles could already hear the sound of Dave's boot opening.

Jesus Fuck! You might have put it in a fucking bag or something!
I am not knowing charcoal, sah.

http://s7.zetaboards.com/PPooDD/topic/8386401/1/

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