South Africa / Mozambique

Greetings from Africa! I’m alive and doing well. (Although, I did accidentally swallow about a liter of a muddy African river a few days ago, but more on that later). Starting out on this trip, I honestly thought I’d find wi-fi hotspots in the hostels we would be staying at and maybe even at the bush camps, which are pretty substantial. But guess what I discovered? Africa, is not like midtown Manhattan! Who knew? If you’ve written to me and I haven’t responded, I’m trying, I promise. I am currently in Durban, South Africa, which is a real city where getting the internet is easier and we are going to stay for a few days and catch our breath. I just took my first dip in the Indian Ocean actually, which was quite delightful.

Well, I’ve seen enough compelling things and have had enough thoughts the past two weeks to probably fill a book, but I’ll try to give an abridged version. Trying to summarize everything we’ve done would be impossible, so here are some highlights.

Two weeks ago my friend Dave Feuerman and I awoke at 4:30AM and headed for JFK. Twenty hours later, we were in Johannesburg. We had one night to spend in a hostel outside of the city, before catching a flight to Mozambique. Our host at the hostel arranged for a tour of downtown “Joburg,” as those in the know refer to it. Joburg does have the reputation as one of the most dangerous cities on the planet, but if we went with a local during the day, getting some flavor of the city wouldn’t be a problem. Our guide picked us up in a van, and with doors locked, took us downtown. People were out and about doing their business. I didn’t think it looked that bad, but it was explained that come nightfall the place transforms and, “no one in their right mind goes down there.”

While driving around, our guide pointed out some men on a corner and said, “Nigerians, all crime is caused by the Nigerians. Drugs, car jacks, murders, there is always a Nigerian.” I found his statement intriguing for I suppose it doesn’t matter where you are, there is always someone who wants to blame all of society’s woes on the immigrants.

On our flight to Maputo, we sat next to a soccer team from Zimbabwe called the Dynamos. Next to me was a defender named Thomas. He was extremely interested in America and asked questions the entire flight. These are some of the pressing subjects he was interested in:

(In thick African accent)
Thomas: Edward, please tell me, is Tupac still alive?

Thomas: I think Die Hard is much better than Die Hard 2. Do you agree?

Thomas: Who will you vote for President? Obama or Hillary Clinton?
Ed: Well, they are in the same party, and right now it is still being determined who will get to run for President.
Thomas : Oh. Well it must be Obama.
Ed: So you don’t like Hillary?
Thomas: No way! You cannot be ruled by a woman.

In Maputo, Mozambique, we met my friend from college, Brian Aronson. Maputo was dusty, and hot, and dirty, but I loved it. Brian had already been in town for a few days and had befriended a number of locals. This would prove to be a stellar move. The people there are incredibly friendly, but Maputo runs on a different standard of time. If someone says they will meet you in ten minutes, it’s an hour. Things don’t get done on time, they get done when they get done. At first this may seem frustrating, but after a few days, you grow to love the laid back flow of everything.

Bruno was our 6’5” local friend who also enjoyed wearing the hat of tour guide/security manager/social manager. He was proud of his country and was eager to show us around, have a good time, steer us clear of any trouble, and ensure we received proper prices when buying goods. He even invited us to a dinner one night cooked by his grandmother, which was delicious. We met his family, and all of his little cousins and nieces and nephews. They just might have been the cutest kids in all of Africa.

We partied up Maputo pretty hard for four nights and then the three Americans together headed for Kruger National Park, which is back in South Africa. Kruger is South Africa’s largest national park and is home to thousands of big game animals. We stayed at bush camps, which were basically little bungalows that had electricity and running water. I can’t pretend we really roughed it out there, because we even had maids cleaning our rooms each day. We spent five days canvassing Kruger spotting elephants, rhinos, buffaloes, giraffe, hyenas, baboons, zebra, impala, jackals, hippos, and crocodiles. The place is amazing. By the end of the fourth day though, we still hadn’t seen any lion. On our last morning, led by our guide Vusi, we finally saw two male lions pursuing a group of impala. They disappeared into the brush after the impala let off some warning calls. I don’t know if they got their breakfast, but it was pretty thrilling.

In our little rented Honda Jazz, we ventured south for the small nation of Swaziland. After a harrowing trip over a mountain range, through a hail and thunder storm, on dirt roads that were being washed away, and avoiding rogue cows, through the darkness, we got rooms in a hut on a private game reserve with warthogs walking past our front door. Brian and I took a river rafting trip on the Usutu River. Our two guides had an unusual affinity for riddles and puns. They would say things like this: “What makes ice, nice? Answer: the “n.” They would then laugh hysterically for five minutes at a time as we floated down the river.

On one set of rapids, we were both thrown from the raft. I was mildly concerned because there were crocodiles in this river. I had asked the guide earlier, “So, what happens if a crocodile is coming for you?” “If he gets you, he gets you,” was his response, which was very reassuring. The real threat though was the water itself. I took down a few big gulps. That was three days ago though and I feel fine, so I think my stomach is actually welcoming these challenges.

We pulled into Durban last night. Dave just left a few minutes ago to head back to New York and the office. His two week adventure has come to a close. Brian and I have three weeks to tear up the belly of South Africa on our way to Cape Town. Tomorrow I will take my first surfing lesson. As I write this, it’s about 75 degrees and I’m relaxing next to the pool at our hostel, sipping a beverage. Life is good.



Notes and General Thoughts:
-Piri piri hot sauce is ridiculous. Exercise caution.
-Why is it that many vegetarians seem to be overweight?
-The best beef jerky in the world can be found in South Africa. Ostrich jerky is terrible though, skip it.
-Guys from Bangladesh like to try to cut lines and pretend they didn’t know there was a line.
-When you are living out of a bag, you’d be impressed how long one shirt can last you.
-The movie selection offered on Virgin Atlantic is absolutely topnotch. Big ups to Sir Richard.
-I know everyone knows this, but the vegetables in the US taste like cardboard compared to the fresh produce of the rest of the world. The tomatoes, onions, and mangoes of Mozambique burst with so much flavor, it’s like a resurrection for your tongue.
-New York carries a lot of respect, no matter whom you talk to.
-Shoes and shirt required is such a terrible rule, which doesn’t really apply to most places we go.
-You’d be surprised how quickly you can adapt to driving on the left side of the road. I also find myself thinking in terms of kilometers, meters, and liters. What’s happening to me?
-Nice hot showers should be treasured. Appreciate what you have.
-Some acts of kindness come so naturally here. We went to dinner one night in Nelspruit, and at the conclusion of our meal, we asked our waiter if he could call us a cab. He knew the chef was leaving, so he arranged to give us a free ride home instead.
-South Africa has some of the most beautiful natural wonders of the world, from its vistas to its wildlife. However, the most stunning sight I’ve seen so far is the night sky.
-For some reason, in Southern Africa, the term, “robot,” means, “traffic light.” This caused us some considerable confusion.

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