KENYA: I need exhaustion, headache, and calming pills NOW!!!! ... or just a few drinks and all inclusive trip to the Maldives... Same thing!

Kenya is ONE step above Tanzania. In my last blog, I talked about how Tanzania was either really beautiful, or really awful and annoying. Well, Kenya is the same, except with a few more nice people who want to look after you and make sure you're ok.

1) THE KENYA RESEMBLING TANZANIA:
There have been many times during the last 11 months when I've wanted to be alone, but kept meeting one great person after the other and ended up traveling with them. Then, I came to East Africa where there are little to no backpackers and found myself alone in a place where you really need some support.

I can't remember the last time I went a couple of days without having to stand up for myself and refuse to pay triple the price... the last time I was in a stress free, worry free environment... the last time I didn't get a headache from dealing with people who only see you as a dollar sign.... and the last time I didn't want to cry.

I do remember when I actually did break down and cry though. It was when I had 10 men waving their hands and screaming at me to get on their boat to shore in Lamu, and then threaten that I would miss my bus or never make it if I went with the other company. So, do yourself a favor and ONE, don't come to East Africa on your final month of travel because it will not be the fun, relaxing time one looks for at the end of backpacking around the world and TWO, book an organized excursion!

East Africa is NOT for the independent traveler unless you're REALLY tough and want this kind of travel. By now, I may be used to it, but that doesn't make it any easier. I call everyone out on everything and I've had to respond to things like "everyone in America is rich" and people asking me to pay more for a bus ticket because for some reason, they deserve the free money more than anyone else... I've had to deal with "My sister, my sister! My friend, I give you good price: (Insert 4 times the actual cost)" so much so that when they pull that on me I just straight up tell them "Look. I don't want any of this 'my sister' and 'good price' stuff. Everybody here lies. You either give me a good price or I will walk out on to the street and find another cab driver who will".

My "favorite" experience has been asking for the price of a bus ticket in Naivasha. The guy gave me a price 4 times the actual one: "Ok... Ok..." he said as if he was doing me a favor. "400". NO WAY! I said and walked away. That led to a discussion about discrimination, and how they think I'm made of money even though I'm taking public transportation, and that the US economy is in fabulous condition and I have no school debt or anything... Then came the "Where are you from?" I said "USA". "Oooh! OBAMA!" "Yeah! OBAMA! What would Obama say about the way you're treating me right now?!" BAM! So, I paid a LITTLE over the actual price. Not without a fight though.

I know there are tourists who will pay their overpriced amounts, but if I had that much I would've been on an organized tour not crammed into a minibus with 30 people on a bumpy dirt road for hours! And, I will fight because I want them to know, even if it's just a hand full of people, that there are tourists out there who will not tolerate this treatment.

2) NICE PEOPLE DO EXIST!!!!!!!
While they too harass you almost as badly as in Tanzania and everyone feels the need to greet you and usually follow it up with an invite to spend money and go on their tour, or see their shop, I've found less lying and more people willing to help because they are nice, not because they will demand money at the end.

On the buses, people look after me (usually the only white person) and constantly reassure me that I'm safe. I've had people show me directions and ladies grab me by the hand to lead me to my bus when I was lost. They even yelled at the bus driver when he tried to overcharge me and told me "You DO NOT pay more than 150. NOTHING. Not 1 more"

So, yes... I prefer Kenya to Tanzania... but that's not saying a lot.

3) THE EXPERIENCE:
There is no such thing as time in East Africa. I'm used to people thinking their cultures are late because they're on "Brasilian time" or "Bolivian time", but East African time can't even be called time because it's one small step above stop. People are in no hurry to do anything. They believe they have all the time in the world to do everything, which has been difficult to get used to and extremely frustrating, especially when bikes go faster than the bus I'm on.

Not only that, but most roads are dirt roads or paved roads filled with pot holes meaning that jumping out of your non-reclining seat is common, especially if you're in the back. One time, I got the "privilege" of sitting in the middle of the last row. It was no surprise that everyone on the bus constantly turned around to make sure my head didn't hit the top.

Next, every one of the million stops the bus makes brings a bunch of vendors to the bus who start banging on the windows, shouting out what they're selling and ask you to buy it. The best is the selling and buying of live chickens, which for some reason, they try to convince me I want.

As for the night buses, just don't. They drive like mad here. They drive on the wrong side of the road to avoid pot holes and then swerve back so quickly the bus balances on half it's wheels. Adding darkness to that is not a good idea. Had I known, I wouldn't have taken a night bus... especially after finding out one was hijacked 2 weeks earlier and all the women were raped.

4) DESTINATIONS:
- LAMU:
It took me 2 days worth of travel to get there from Tanzania. Along the way and while stranded, I luckily met a Korean woman who'd been traveling for a year. Although we couldn't communicate more than the basics, she gave me confidence that I too could conquer this crazy continent.

We both spent the night in a dodgy hotel. The mosquito nets had holes and the toilet didn't flush. I like to think the water I bathed in was relatively clean. Only one night right?

When I woke up the next morning and looked out my window I thought "Dear god, where am I and why?!"

That day, the two of us got to Lamu which like Zanzibar, is Swahili in language and culture (that means a mixture of Bantu, Arabic, Persian and Asian influences). It's a tiny place similar to Stones Town with donkey's everywhere and a lot of dung to avoid.

Shella beach is supposed to be the nicest, but when we got there, it wasn't what we expected. The water wasn't that pretty and neither was the strong wind that covered us in sand. We found a nice sand free cafe where I could take off my pants (drenched in sweat from the heat) and top, to tan. I'd been wearing it because I don't feel that comfortable being naked around women covered head to toe except for the slit at the eyes. Anyway, the only thing I could think as I sipped my drink was "Not Lonely planet too lying to me now?! I mean, I know everyone here does, but I at least though I could count on the book to tell me where it's worth going to!" Sure, you get slightly less harassed in smaller Lamu, but had I known it'd be what it was, I would've spent more time on the truly unique beaches of Zanzibar.

- NAIROBI:
Much better than Dar, this city is bustling. The streets are packed, the traffic is bumper to bumper and the pollution will result in my dying 3 months earlier. Thankfully though, I could walk down the streets freely without being hassled to buy stuff. So refreshing! Unfortunately, that's only during the day. Nairobi doesn't have the best safety record after sunset and no one, not even locals walk the streets at night. I don't know what Nairobi looks like at night, but I've heard there's a lot of security, iron bars and everything's closed.

- MASAI MARA SAFARI, LAKE NAKURU & HELL'S GATE NATIONAL PARK
There are no words to describe the sight of 2 million wildebeests during their yearly migration... what it's like to have a lion drag a dead animal close to your car and then look directly at you with its yellow eyes as if its about to pounce... or a male giraffe climbing another ha! It doesn't even compare to TV. Absolutely breathtaking! As was Hell's Gate (where Tomb Raider was filmed). Here I got to bike through as zebra's and buffalo stared me down, and giraffe's crossed the road in front of me. To get there I stayed at Lake Naivasha in a tent trying to sleep with hippos coming so close to the camp an electric fence needed to be installed after one tourist got killed about a year ago... And then there were the GIANT birds and blue balled vervet monkeys... see pics.

As difficult as Kenya is, the safari was well worth it. Sure I had an "ok" guide, they ran out of food one night, and everywhere I went, they wanted tips (for the bathroom, the cooks, the cleaners, the bag helpers, etc.) as if the $110/day BUDGET safari I paid for was not enough... Seriously!!!?? How much money do these people think I have?! And why does none of the huge sum I pay per day get distributed properly like it does on every other tour I've been around the world?! UGH! Or is it just that even though they get decent salaries, they think we can always give them more because we're "westerners"? Maybe some wealthier travelers can, or me in 20 years when I have real income to blow in 2 weeks, but not now. Oh well, I can't complain... I saw some crazy sights!

I'll cut it off there for now with some hope that maybe, just maybe, Uganda & Rwanda will want to make me go home or return to South America or Southeast Asia a little less.

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