exactly what i wanted.

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Writing from the IDP camp in Eldoret. We spent the day here yesterday checking up on our projects and starting some new ones. I mostly kept the children occupied while the adults spoke with John. I played simple games such as Ring around the Rosy, Simon Says, Patti-Cake, and even told an extremely ghetto version of Snow White, with one of the kids who could speak english as my translator. It was fun to explain those games to the children using my broken Kiswahili and hand motions, but the kids had a good time. Even just sitting around letting them touch my skin or play with my hair, keeps their minds off of what has happened. Whenever I'm inside the camp, I really feel like I am changing someone's life and it's the greatest feeling I have ever felt. I know that it is going to be hard to leave Kenya, because I don't get that feeling in America. It's going to be a hard adjustment back into "my real life". The other day in Junction, which is where a lot of tourists are, I see mzungos and I'm so creeped out. Its weird seeing them, and its going to be overwhelming when I return to America, where there are white people everywhere. Its hilarious that I feel that way, but its the truth.
Are you ever in a place, and think to yourself, this is exactly where i want to be, and exactly what i want to be doing? That's how i feel everyday here. This is exactly the place I want to be, and I'm doing exactly what I want to be doing. How many of you can say that about your life? If you do, than you can sympathize with my feelings about returning home and if not, then I hope someday you can achieve the state of being that I am currently experiencing. It's thrilling. I wake up in the morning, and I don't dread the day ahead. I hope I can continue to feel that way about my life, when I return to America. Perhaps I will just pretend that I am still in Kenya, saving the world one person at a time.
The rest of the day at the IDP camp, we spent speaking to the secondary school children. They were so honest with John, it was nice to have a real conversation. One girl spoke up about how grateful she was that we had paid for her return to school, but that we must not get mad about her poor performance in school. It's not that she wants to fail, it's just that it will not be an easy task to concentrate on school with all the background struggles she has faced and is currently facing. Of course, we understand the pain she suffers, and we comfort her, but we remain firm in stressing the importance of getting an education. Christabell had brought two bags of clothes, and shoes from her brother that we handed out to the kids as well. It turned out that every kid was able to get at least one article of clothing, whether it be a pair of shoes, trousers, t-shirt. At that point, we were reaching into our suitcases and pulling out whatever clothes we had to give to them. I swear my suitcase will be empty when I return because I can't stop giving away anything I can. Priscilla and i ended up having to go shopping last night because we had nothing to wear for the night. But things like that, I don't even care. I would rather give the clothes off of my back to someone who is wearing a ratty t-shirt full of holes, because I am privileged enough where I can easily buy another, these people cannot. I wish I could have brought more clothes and shoes to give them from home, but my suitcase was packed tightly when I arrived. I hope I can organize something with the US and Kenyan postal services so I can send packages every month or so. There are so many little things that I want to do when I get home, that I look forward to, so I can still feel useful to the people here.
It's weird being back in Eldoret especially with all of the drama that happened last time. I feel a little uneasy when I walk around the town, and remember the faces of the people who surrounded the police truck, shouting of street justice but other than that, I feel fine. This is Kenya and its just normal to feel that way. Its interesting how I've adjusted to that way of thinking.

I hope that throughout my blogs I haven't earned sympathy for myself, because that is the complete opposite of what I've wanted. I write these blogs hoping to inspire others to come here, or anywhere and complete similar missions. I write to enlighten the privileged to use their given resources properly. And I write so that others know what they cannot see, and what I am seeing, because everyone should see how the other half lives.

So I have a few more days here, and I'm not lying when I say I will be depressed. But I look to the positive because life moves on, I have others to help at home, and I know I will be back. So if I have time, I will write again from Africa and if not, see you on the green side.

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