More of a Miracle than an Accident! (Exabier Yemusgan & Ahumdililah)

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So here is the news - though I guess most of you know this by now - Sara is pregnant and going to have a baby!!!!



We are both delighted as we were led to believe it was not medically possible.

For many years we had hauled ourselves through the NHS infertility system (not much fun - lovely nurses, less lovely consultants) without success.

After years of poking, prodding, samples, scans, diary-keeping, mucus feeling, pipe-cleaning, keyhole camera examinations and even reflexology and acupuncture (not on the NHS of course), we were signed off with "unexplained infertility". Next please...

We were both very sad, though I was kind of pleased I'd never have to give another sperm sample.

Apart from trying to collect the sample in a bottle clearly designed by a woman (and a woman with a sense of humour at that), I was always nervous during the breakneck drive from Fishponds to Clifton (University Fertility Centre) that the police would stop me.

Officer: 'Ello, 'ello, 'ello - what have we here, sir? Driving with a bottle of white liquid secreted about one's armpit, sir?

Me: Er, yes, Officer. Doctor says it's the best place to keep it warm. Now do you mind? I've got 15 minutes to get across town and it's a b*gger to change gear...

Of course Sara had it much worse than me.

Cleetus, the International Foetus

The story started just after the VSO Volunteer Conference in Langano.

Sara had been exceptionally tired for the entire time and there seemed no reason why. She must have had an inkling that something was up as a week or so later (this is mid-August) she suggested she was either going through a super early menopause, or she ought to get a pregnancy test!?!

Well knock me down with the feather from a flying pig - the local clinic did a test and a grinning pharmacist handed Sara a scrap of paper with a big purple stamp to certify she was officially pregnant!!!

How about that!

Of course neither of us could believe it...

We had to give this wonderful new creation a name, so having had Cleetus the Foetus red-carded by Sara we settled on Mr Bean...as the little fella was about the size of a bean.

We had sat down and worked out the logistics of it all and realised he or she would have quite an international start to life, even before seeing daylight.

It seems the good red wine, the sun, the swimming pool, the cheese, chocolate and general good spirits of the Bordeaux holiday had refreshed the parts other holidays failed to reach.

So Bean was conceived in France. Would be carried in Ethiopia. And delivered (possibly) in Ireland to English parents!

Of course we couldn't tell anyone until the 13 week tests were finished and we had the thumbs up.

Sara had still been taking doxycycline anti-malarials in Assosa for the first 6 weeks; and this broad-spectrum antibiotic crosses the placenta. Plus at our ages there are increased risks that the baby may have Down's syndrome or spina-bifidia.

The first person we told (after the British Embassy doctor, who doesn't know us from Adam) was - quite properly - Patricia, the VSO Country Director. We wanted things to go smoothly and by the numbers.

Testing, testing and ICT

To the credit of Patricia and VSO, both have been extremely supportive of us.

When we signed up for VSO we went through some intensive selection processes which included pretty straightforward questioning like "will you try and get pregnant during your placement?". We kind of looked at each other and smiled a 'chance would be a fine thing' smile...

And now here we were, trying to explain the inexplicable.

First up we needed the pregnancy confirmed, so Sara needed to come to Addis to have a scan. I was heading off to Addis anyway as I was one of the three current volunteers helping organise the In Country Training for the new volunteers.

We arrived in Addis, met the British Embassy doctor who recommended the Kadisco Hospital in Gurgi, near the Korean Hospital and pitched up later in the day for a scan (no appointment required).

After the usual hospital lounge lounging, we made it into the scanning room where a friendly, happy man waved the ultrasound across Sara's tummy and confirmed that yes, there was a baby and a heartbeat!

So What Next?

We now needed to make a plan with VSO.

Both of us were clear we wanted to stay in Ethiopia and honour our agreement with VSO (our two years would finish early next February).

Both of us were clear that, if possible, we did not want this pregnancy to cost VSO any extra money. We had both done fundraising for VSO (almost £4,000) so it seemed daft to give money to the charity with one hand and then take it back - over a situation of our making - with the other.

So after a couple of meetings with Patricia, we asked if VSO would find us both placements in Addis for the final 3-4 months. Sara would return to Ireland and the UK for the more detailed 13 week tests. We would foot the bills for the tests so far, the flight to the UK/Ireland and the medical tests.

Patricia was very happy to help us find short-term placements in Addis, so long as the VSO Medical Unit in London agreed that it was OK for Sara to remain in country.

I went on to help organise ICT with Doreen, Joanna, Seble and Geleta - keeping a happy secret to myself.

The day after ICT ended Sara flew back to the UK to see the family in Hastings, then to Ireland for the tests, before back to Bristol to catch up with friends and family en route to Heathrow.

The name game

Of course we've had a few conversations.

I have always wanted a daughter called Ripley.

Sara has always denied she'd ever have a daughter called Ripley.

After years of nagging, 'Ellen' was about the best compromise we could reach.

Then of course there is Arnie, Sarah, Connor and John.

Boy = Arnie Mercer
Girl = Sarah Connor Mercer
Boy Twins = John & Connor
Mixed Twins = Sarah & Connor

But then the best laid plans and all that - Sara doesn't like any of my suggestions? Apart from maybe "Sara". Well, I guess that makes sense.

I do like Joe (Boy) and Jo (girl) as it was my nickname at cricket and our friend Jo introduced me to Sara (and vice-versa) so has played an - albeit distant - part in the process.

As you can tell, the naming is still work-in-progress.

We are agreed on an Ethiopian name somewhere.

If a girl I like "Alemsahai" which means "the world is full of sunshine" and for a boy "Alemiyu" or "I will see the world differently". Sara also likes "sahai" or "sunlight" so we have some common ground to work on.

The guys at work came up with Hiwot or "life" for a girl and Tewodros (Teddy) for a boy. Yes I kind of like like these too.

I had also had thoughts about our Grandfather's names. If a boy, maybe something like Brendan Arthur. Brendan is Sara's grandad and Arthur was my maternal grandfather (Walter, my paternal grandfather, died when I was about 10, so I don't remember so much about him).

And there's my mum's name, Margot. I think she would be so pleased to know that Sara is expecting a child. I remember the last few words my mum ever spoke to me. She told me to leave the hospital and "go home to your wife". That was three years before we got married. She would be so happy.

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So as one big adventure in Africa draws to a close, the whole new big adventure of parenthood beckons.

Finger's crossed everything will go well and according to plan.

How does it really feel?

Well it feels very...kind of 'right'.

I guess no matter how we wrap our modern lives up in complex lifestyles, aspirations and ambition, we are still just simple creatures at heart; who want to find a partner to love and to share our life with; and if so blessed, share that love with a child...

...so, yes, right now, the world is definately full of sunshine :)

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