Final Words And Travel Tips From Ubud Bali

We have been extremely busy the past few days with redoing plans for the next half of our trip. There was a coup by proxy yesterday in Thailand via their court system. While the protesters say that they are allowing the airports to re-open it will be some time before the damage can be assessed and repaired. Apparently the protesters did quite a job on the beautiful new international airport. Thailand may never recover economically from the damage done to their international travel reputation. We have always enjoyed the time we've spent in Thailand and we are deeply saddened at what the Thai people have done to themselves. Note to Jan and Neil: It looks like you should be OK on your plans.

After reviewing our options we decided to go to Vietnam. We land in Saigon tomorrow after sitting on pins and needles for our Vietnamese visas to come through which they did last night. The Internet is a wondrous thing is it not? (Note to self: Send Al Gore a thank you letter.) We plan to spend 4 weeks in Nam visiting the Mekong delta and then traveling by train up the coast to Hanoi with stops at Mui Ne, Danang and Hue before finishing at Halong Bay. We hear that there really isn't much to see in the Hanoi area. (Thanks a lot Jim Denson! Happy now?)

Our time in Indonesia as been an educational and fun experience. In retrospect 60 days was too much time given the area that we covered. While Lombok was a dud we will never forget the wonderful days spent in Bali and Gili Air. They were truly unforgettable. The hotel we occupied in Ubud is run by a wonderful family who couldn't have been more kind or generous. Last week my knapsack unraveled from the stupid amount of weight I have been carrying in it. I asked Made' the hotel owner where I could buy a new one. Three hours later she gave me my knapsack back with a smile. It had been expertly repaired and she wouldn't take a single Rupiah for what she had done. The Balinese are like that.

We'll update you when we arrive in Saigon. (I can't bring myself to say Hochiminh City). We plan to see the old US embassy there which is now a museum and enjoy the food which can be had for pennies at street side cafes. The rest of this entry will be a long list of travel tips for people visiting Ubud. Apparently the story called 'Fear and Loathing in Lombok' was a big Web hit as it was picked up by a number of on-line travel sites. There appears to be a shortage of precise travel information out there on Indonesia. an Australian company asked if they could have more of the same so that's what we endeavored to do.

To our friends and family we send our love and thoughts over the holidays and by the way, duck is no replacement for turkey.

Tips for Ubud:

There are many restaurants in Ubud to choose from. You will do better by avoiding the high priced establishments along Monkey Forest Road. We’ve found that food prices are inversely proportional to the food’s quality. In other words, the more you pay the worse it is. Also be advised that most restaurants in Ubud will add an additional ten to twenty-five percent to your bill for ‘service and taxes’. We have seen this in no other place in Bali. Looks like a new form of bill padding. The additional charge can be found written in tiny print on the menu bottom. This can increase your food bill dramatically so be advised. I found a restaurant recently that had no notice on the menu. I asked the waitress if they charged an additional tax. She looked at me as if I were addled and said “Of course.” Restaurants that advertise ‘live music’ may only have music once a week so make sure to ask if the band is playing the night you plan to attend. Roast duck, ‘Bebek’, is a highly touted item here. It is cooked and smoked underground. Tourists seem to be quite taken with this Balinese version of a Luau pig. I spend most of my duck eating time searching for bits of dirt on the bird. It must be ordered 24 hours in advance. Most restaurants here carry it and the price for two people can range anywhere from 100,000 to 300,000 Rupiah so shop around. Most of the ducks are cooked in the same pit and then delivered to your restaurant so there is very little difference in quality no matter how much or how little you pay.

The farther away you move from Monkey Forest Road the better the food and the prices so explore a little. The reason so many bad eateries stay in business in Ubud is because most people who come to Ubud only stay two or three days and rarely venture off of Monkey Forest Rd. The restaurants need only hook you once, as they really don’t depend on repeat business. There’s a place on Monkey Forest called ‘Waroeng’ and it pulls in a lot of older tourists by playing a constant loop of 60’s popular music like the Doors and Buffalo Springfield. The food sucks. Many places will use free wireless to get you in the door, which is kind of silly, as there are so many free hot spots in town to use. Stand in front of Pramesti Bungalows and piggyback onto the wireless there.

The best pizza in Ubud is at ‘Bali Pesto’ on Monkey Forest Road. The pizzas are inexpensive and good but they charge 16,000 Rupiah for a large bottle of water. Buy one at the Nani mini-mart across the street for 3,000 Rp and bring it with you. Management will not complain. They also offer ten minutes of free Internet time for all customers. If you go over ten minutes they will charge you and believe you me they keep track. They have free wireless so bring your own computer if you have one.

The best restaurant overall that we have found is Bianglalah. A wonderful eatery at the end of a small lane off of Monkey Forest. The lane is right next to Cha Cha’s Variety store. Great food at low prices. The candlelit tables overlook a beautiful field of rice paddies. Try the Ayum Goreng. The owner speaks excellent English and the restaurant has the cleanest Western style bathroom we have ever seen in Ubud. You can have a wonderful meal for two here for well under 100,000 Rp, drinks, taxes and service included.

A little further away is the Taman Curry Restaurant and art gallery East of the market on Jl Raya Ubud near the Neka Gallery. Wonderful Indonesian foods at remarkably low prices. The restaurant is very clean. A meal for two with soft drinks can be had for less than 60,000 Rp. After dining check out the rabbit warren of gallery rooms. An amazing collection of paintings for sale by dozens of local artists. Some really original stuff can be found here and you need not worry about high-pressure salesmen. If you are seriously considering the purchase of a painting you would be better off tracking down the artist’s studio and buying a piece there. Galleries buy their paintings directly from the artists and will then mark the works up by as much as 300%. I spoke with a painter today who sells his stuff for about $50 US. I saw his work at a local gallery where the gallery owner refused to sell for less that $175. If you get the name of the painter most taxi drivers in town can point you to his studio. It’s a far more interesting way to buy art. Plus they’ll probably feed you too.

And now the worst restaurants we found in Ubud: The Warung Artini Restaurant, which is associated with the Artini Guesthouse. Located on Jl Hanoman the restaurant is adjacent to a small grocery/ souvenir shop selling overpriced sarongs and sunscreen. The restaurant itself is not unattractive, offering 6 tables in a nice wood paneled room. The food is atrocious. I ordered an appetizer of Samosas which appeared to have been marinated in cooking oil for 24 hours before cooking. The filling was sludge of unidentifiable vegetable matter oozing grease. The pastry was undercooked and soggy. I also ordered the stir-fried chicken in lemongrass. What I received was chicken served in a stew of undercooked potato wedges and an eggplant that appeared to have completed three long sessions in the pot. There was no lemongrass to be seen or tasted. Karen ordered the chicken Kiev and that turned out to be three breaded chicken fingers cooked in garlic. The waitress never asked us how our meal was. She already knew. The restaurant sits in an area predominated by German tourists. Two women at the table next to ours ordered pasta dishes of which they ate half and then used the leftovers for an ashtray. They used the word ‘’sheisse” a couple of times and left.

The restaurant known as MURNI’S WARUNG is located on Il Raya Ubud about a mile West of the Ubud market. Very popular with Western tourists the restaurant is situated on a river next to a suspension bridge. It’s a very pretty place occupying 4 levels overlooking the water. The dining rooms are brightly lit highlighting the owner’s collection of antiques and wall art. Unfortunately the lighting also highlights an entomological blizzard of large flying insects. While we waited for our orders a large Gecko on the wall opposite our table was having a field day eating everything that flew past its gaping jaws. MURNI’S is the priciest of all the eateries we visited. A serving of chicken curry runs 50,000 Rp which is twice what you would expect to pay in Ubud. Karen’s order of French onion soup was served lukewarm and sans cheese. A piece of sandwich bread floated on the top. I ordered what was supposed to be Indonesian steamed vegetables with rice. What I received was an ice cream scoop of Vegamite accompanied by three slices of cucumber and three pieces of tofu. By the end of the meal I came to the conclusion that the Gecko was eating better than anybody else in the establishment. The waitress asked me what I thought of the meal and I told her that it was the worst food that I had ever eaten in Bali. She smiled and brought me my check.

For laundry service go to Bakti Laundry on Monkey Forest Road. Really inexpensive and they also iron your clothes. They will have everything done in one day and smelling great. They charge 2,500 Rp for a pair of jeans. Shirts are 1,500 Rp. Socks and underwear go for 1,000 Rp. Other laundries can take a long time, as they are dependent on sunshine to dry the clothes. There hasn’t been a lot of sun here lately.

DVD’s can be purchased at a few places but the best selection is at PANDAWA Mini-Market and Music Center on Monkey Forest just South of the market. The largest selection of DVD’s we have seen anywhere in SE Asia. They also carry music videos. Be advised that these are pirated copies. They sell for 15,000 Rp each. If you buy a copy of a newly released film it is likely that it was copied with a tri-pod mounted camera in a movie theater. Don’t be surprised if you hear an occasional cell phone ring or see somebody walking to his or her seat. I bought a copy of the new 007 film but it was inaudible. The store cheerfully took it back and then put it right back on the shelf. Movies that have already been released on DVD are usually OK. There are guys selling DVD’s on the street out of backpacks. Never pay more than 10,000 Rp for them as that is the going rate.

If you’re looking to buy the standard tourist stuff like wooden Bhuddas and paper umbrellas your best bet is to go to the marketplace at the end of Monkey Forest Road. There are literally dozens of vendors selling exactly the same stuff side by side. Sarongs can be had for 40,000 Rp or less though they will quote you 150,000 Rp. Baskets are a dime a dozen. They have woven handbags by the truckload. Never, ever pay more than 50,000 Rp for these. Silver earrings can be had for 50,000 and less. They’re big on wooden phalluses here. They have bottle opener phalluses and back-scratcher phalluses and phallus lamps and just plain every day phalluses. Perhaps Balinese men suffer from an anatomical deficiency. If you need a phallus Ubud is the place to come. Fabrics can be bought in two-meter lengths. Pay 80,000 for these or less unless they are silk. If you are looking for silk make sure that you know what you are doing. There is a lot of synthetic material here being passed off as silk. Et caveat emptor.

There are hundreds of wood carvers in the Ubud area. You will find about a half a dozen women selling wood figurines on the street out of suitcases they carry around. Anything in their bag can be had for 10,000 Rp no matter what they quote as the price.

On bargaining. Much has been made on how to bargain in Bali. Here’s the secret: Always be ready to walk on the deal and leave them laughing. If you are friendly and entertaining the vendors are far more likely to cut you a deal. The other day Karen was looking for a new handbag. We found one that she liked. While the proprietor looked on I told Karen that I thought that the bag was a piece of junk and wouldn’t last a day. I said that the stitching was terrible. I was very melodramatic. The seller started laughing and ran over to show us the good quality of the bag’s workmanship. I told her that the bag wasn’t strong enough to hold more than a couple of bananas. Karen asked the price and the seller quoted 100,000 Rp. I pretended to faint on hearing the outrageous price which really got her giggling. I told her that I thought it was worth 10,000. Karen gave her a final offer of 40,000 Rp which the seller refused, holding out for 50,000 Rp. We thanked her profusely and told her that 40,000 was the best that we could do but we wished her the best of luck and we turned to walk away. We got it for 40,000 Rp. Besides the ‘walk away’ you can also use the ‘Well I guess I’ll look around at the other shops and if I can’t get it for less there I’ll come back here’. There are ten vendors here for every tourist in town. You can pretty much name your price but don’t get crazy, don’t get mad and always keep a smile on your face. These are very friendly people and if they like you they can be very accommodating. Treat shopping as entertainment and you’ll do well for yourself. Go for the throat and all is lost.

There is a severe shortage of small denomination currency here. Keep as many 5,000 and 10,000 Rupiah notes on you as you can when shopping. Trying to buy goods here with a 50,000 or 100,000 Rupiah note is like trying to buy a McDonald’s Happy Meal with a $100 bill. I do not know what they do with the small bills but they’re hard to come by. I got a massage the other day for 60,000 Rp. I paid with two 50,000 notes. It took the spa 15 minutes to come up with the change. Today in lieu of a 1,000 Rp note they gave me a package of gum. It’s crazy but it happens.

When changing money you really need to check around the various currency exchanges. The rates are written on large dry-erase boards in front of the shops. Today’s official rate was 12,100 per US dollar. The exchanges were offering anywhere between 11,000 and 12,100. The best rates are given for large bank notes. Less for travelers checks. If you can’t find a decent rate at an exchange you might be better off with an ATM withdrawal. If you use an ATM card use a major bank’s machine. Never use an ATM in a convenience store, as their rates are approximately 4% less than a bank’s. The best exchange rate in Ubud is consistently found at an exchange at the bottom of Monkey Forest Road just outside the monkey sanctuary gate. Credit cards are difficult to use in Ubud. The few places that will accept them charge a 4% to 6% fee. Cash is king here.

Regarding taxis; You cannot walk 5 yards down Monkey Forest without some driver asking you if you want a taxi. Taxi drivers congregate in small groups along the roadside looking for trade. Bargain and bargain hard. You should be able to get a driver for the day for 400,000 Rp especially if you allow him to take you to a few factories. Going to a factory means that you are going to a store to look at anything from jewelry to ceramics. The drivers are paid a fixed fee to bring you to the shop. The drivers do not get a cut of anything you buy so they could care less if you buy something or not. If you tell the driver that you want to go directly to your destination without any factory stops your fare will be higher and there is less wriggle room in negotiations. If you are paying to go directly to your destination and the driver pulls into a factory anyway, refuse to get out of the car and demand that he continue on to your destination. If you like going to factories then hammer the driver on the fare since he’ll be making it up from the store owner on the back-end. The taxi drivers will also try to sell you on any number of ‘programs’ like river rafting, elephant rides, cultural dance performances and trekking. In these situations you are better off negotiating directly with the tour operator. Never book a tour on the Internet. For example: a river-rafting trip is quoted at $66 US on the Internet. The same trip can be had for $30 US on the street in Ubud. The same holds true for booking hotels.

If your hotel doesn’t have a swimming pool you can use the one at the Cendana Resort on Monkey Forest. They will charge you 30,000 Rp to use the facility. It’s a beautiful pool area equipped with umbrellas, loungers and all the fluffy towels you could possibly need. They also have a kiddie pool.

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